World's Dumbest Horror Movie

[silverscreenselect]

There's bad movies, and there's so bad they're fun movies, and then there are movies where you spend 100 minutes wondering how someone could put something this inane together. And surprisingly most of the reviews have been positive.

It's called Skinamarink and it's on Hulu. They never explain the title. The best way to describe the movie is to imagine someone with a Go Pro camera on his helmet and some really, really, really grainy film and then walking around a dark house with the camera following whatever he's looking at. It's not pitch black; there's lights that turn on and off so you can usually see what the camera's looking at. Which is the ceiling, a lot, and kid's toys on the floor, a lot, and bare walls, a lot, and a toilet that appears and disappears a few times.

There are two very young kids, about 5-6 years old who seem to be trapped in the house. You almost never see their faces, and when you do it's kind of fuzzy. You see their legs walking around. They whisper and talk softly so you can't understand what they're saying half the time, even though the film has subtitles. And one of the kids turns on a TV that keeps playing old 1940s public domain cartoons. The two kids don't act scared; they act like they're moving around at night trying not to wake up their parents. But it's supposed to be a horror movie. There are a couple of jump scares where the camera cuts to some weird object, but they aren't scary. And the movie isn't suspenseful because you can't tell what's going on most of the time. I must have paused the film a dozen times to see how much longer it went on. And I don't want to spoil it, but there's no ending. It just stops, like the Go Pro camera ran out of film.

But this has gotten very good reviews. If a first year film student submitted this, he would get a failing grade at every film school in the country. I forced myself to stay awake in case something finally happened. It never did.

That's 100 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

[Vandal]

Life is too short to waste time watching shitty movies.

[tlynn78]

That's the name of a weird kids show from the early 90s(?)

I humbly submit Howling, New Moon Rising for consideration. No way anyone made it 100 minutes through that bizarre dreck.

[silverscreenselect]

Life is too short to waste time watching shitty movies.

Based on the reviews, I thought it would be pretty good.

Then I fell into the sunken cost fallacy where I told myself I'd already watched 10 (then 20 then 30 then 40) minutes and it had to get better so I might as well keep on watching. Wrong.

[jarnon]

It's called Skinamarink and it's on Hulu. They never explain the title.

Reminds me of this song from Sesame Street:



Was it played during the movie?