Dear Miss Manners:
A neighbor and I do not share the same political beliefs. I try to be respectful of his political leanings. He, however, has been bombarding me with e-mails that include attachments that smear the candidates of my choice. Most are not backed by sound research, but he believes they are based on fact. The e-mails are accompanied by such statements as "Lord help us if this &! $% is elected president, lol!"
I try to answer in a nonconfrontational and civilized manner but have lately taken to either deleting the comments without responding or simply writing "thank you."
This same neighbor has never, and probably will never, express these views in person. E-mail seems to give him permission to be as insulting and disrespectful as he wishes.
Does our right to free speech give us the right to be rude? Any ideas on how this situation should be handled? I'm all for free speech, but I have my limits!
Actually, free speech does confer the right to be rude. As well it should, Miss Manners believes.
Wait -- she has not lost her mind and started defending rudeness. Nor, for that matter, your tiresome neighbor.
The problem is that although you and your neighbor hold opposite (and commonly held) opinions on the regulation of behavior, both are dangerous. You hint at limiting free speech, while he acts on the notion that there should be no limits on doing what one has the legal right to do.
What about respect for the opinions of others? What about tasteful language?
In other words, what about -- etiquette? That is the essential, voluntary, but highly necessary system that is supposed to prevent people from exercising rights in such a way as to be needlessly offensive to others. It does not even seem to have occurred to your neighbor that offensive behavior is an ineffective way to make one's own case.
This is not someone with whom you should attempt to argue. Be grateful for the delete button.
Miss Manners on Free Speech and Etiquette
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themanintheseersuckersuit
- Posts: 7631
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 6:37 pm
- Location: South Carolina
Miss Manners on Free Speech and Etiquette
Suitguy is not bitter.
feels he represents the many educated and rational onlookers who believe that the hysterical denouncement of lay scepticism is both unwarranted and counter-productive
The problem, then, is that such calls do not address an opposition audience so much as they signal virtue. They talk past those who need convincing. They ignore actual facts and counterargument. And they are irreparably smug.
feels he represents the many educated and rational onlookers who believe that the hysterical denouncement of lay scepticism is both unwarranted and counter-productive
The problem, then, is that such calls do not address an opposition audience so much as they signal virtue. They talk past those who need convincing. They ignore actual facts and counterargument. And they are irreparably smug.
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Bob Juch
- Posts: 27038
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
- Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
- Contact:
Yeah, but I can't use the delete button here. 
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.