Page 14 of 17

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2021 9:10 am
by Vandal
Image

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2021 3:03 pm
by tlynn78
Vandal wrote:
Sun Dec 19, 2021 9:10 am
Image
Yaaassssssssssssssssssssssssss.

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2021 6:19 pm
by tlynn78
Image

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2021 1:31 pm
by BackInTex
Notice how 2022 will be called 2020, too! :shock:

Image

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Wed Dec 22, 2021 3:25 pm
by Vandal
Image

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2022 11:14 am
by Bob Juch
Image

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2022 6:27 pm
by Vandal
Image

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2022 7:01 pm
by Vandal
Image

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2022 12:46 pm
by Vandal
Image

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2022 8:29 pm
by Bob Juch
Three Texans are sitting together in first class. Two of them are fairly well-dressed big men, but the third is diminutive and is very casually dressed.

As is their nature, they begin to chat and soon the chatting turns to bragging. The loudest and largest of the three, Tex, turns to the second and starts to tell him about his ranch.

“Yup, I’ve got me 50,000 acres of grazing land and we average 10,000 head of cattle a year.” “It’s called the “Circle K.”

Not to be outdone, the second, Luke, says “I don’t mean to boast, but my ranch, “The Double Bar X,” is 150,000 acres of the best West Texas grazing land you ever saw.” “My herd is about 40,000 head.”

The third man, Sam, across the aisle nods and smiles but says nothing and returns to reading his book. Finally, Tex, feeling pretty good about himself, asks him what he owns.

“I have only 50 acres, but no cattle at all.”

Grinning slyly, but trying to be polite, Luke asks him “so, what do you call it?”

Looking up from his book, Sam sheepishly responds “Downtown Dallas.”

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2022 6:35 pm
by Bob Juch
Private Smith was assigned to a Navy recruiting center where he was to advise recruits about the advisability of hiring a life insurance policy offered by the government. It wasn't long before the center lieutenant noticed that Smith was nearly 100% effective at selling insurance, which had never happened before. Instead of asking, the lieutenant decided to stand behind a door and listen to what Smith said to a recent soldier who had entered. Smith explained the basics of the policy and then told the soldier, "If you have this insurance and you die in battle, the government has to pay $200,000 to your relatives, but if you don't have this policy and you go into battle, the government has to pay only $6,000. Now, well, which group do you think they're going to send into battle first?

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2022 5:30 pm
by Vandal
Image

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2022 11:03 am
by tlynn78
Made me think of Judy :(

Image

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2022 12:05 pm
by Vandal
A man in Moscow buys a newspaper, glances at the front page, & throws it away.

He does the same thing every day.

Eventually, the seller snaps. "Why DO you do that?"

"I'm just checking for an obituary"

"But obituaries aren't on the front page!"

"The one I'm looking for will be."

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2022 2:55 pm
by mikehardware
True story. I was driving my wife to the grocery store this morning, and the radio began playing the Prince song "1999". I said, "That song's dated."

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2022 3:00 pm
by tlynn78
mikehardware wrote:
Fri Mar 04, 2022 2:55 pm
True story. I was driving my wife to the grocery store this morning, and the radio began playing the Prince song "1999". I said, "That song's dated."
LOL - Dad joke alert!

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2022 3:13 pm
by Beebs52
tlynn78 wrote:
Wed Mar 02, 2022 11:03 am
Made me think of Judy :(

Image
😁

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2022 3:14 pm
by Beebs52
Vandal wrote:
Thu Mar 03, 2022 12:05 pm
A man in Moscow buys a newspaper, glances at the front page, & throws it away.

He does the same thing every day.

Eventually, the seller snaps. "Why DO you do that?"

"I'm just checking for an obituary"

"But obituaries aren't on the front page!"

"The one I'm looking for will be."
One can hope

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2022 12:06 pm
by Vandal
Image

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2022 1:12 pm
by Beebs52
Vandal wrote:
Sat Mar 05, 2022 12:06 pm
Image
Rec!

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2022 4:33 pm
by Vandal
Image

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2022 11:38 am
by Vandal
I lost the racket from my tennis trophy and now it looks like I won an entirely different contest.



Image

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2022 2:12 pm
by wbtravis007
Pretty funny joke told by some woman who knows a lot about Russia while being interviewed by Bill Maher on his show:

What doesn't fit in your ass and doesn't buzz?
Spoiler
An ass-buzzer made in Russia.

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2022 8:44 am
by BackInTex
What did LAPD find when they dusted Chris Rock's face?
Spoiler
Fresh prints.

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2022 2:00 pm
by BackInTex
You're in a room with 100 people. 99 of the won't slap you, but one Will.