WWTBAM Bored

I was arrested last week for stealing cooking utensils

Spoiler

It Was Worth The Whisk

“Have you heard of Murphy’s Law?”

“Yes, anything can go wrong will go wrong.”

“What’s about Cole’s law?”

“No.”

Spoiler

“It’s a thin-slice cabbage dripped in mayonnaise and sour cream.”

What did the custodian say when he jumped outta the closet?

Spoiler

Supplies!

The Pope was up at the New Lodge the other day, performing miracles.

Sean asked him if he could help with his hearing.

The Pope, all solemn, puts his hands over Sean's ears and prayed.

"How's your hearing now?," asked the Pope.

"I don't know," said Sean. "It's not until Tuesday."

Melly's joke reminded me of one that Letterman did many times over the years:

My buddy so-and-so told me he just got a new hearing aid.

I asked him, "what kind is it?"

He looks at his watch and replies, "3:15."

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear a mask and glasses at the same time?

Spoiler

You may be entitled to condensation.

A banana walks into a bar and orders a beer. That bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

Visitor: Hey, that pig has a wooden leg!

Farmer: That pig saved my family’s life. There was a house fire. That pig squealed and woke us up.

Visitor: Is that how he got hurt?

Farmer: No no. A fine hog like that you don’t eat all at once.

Did you hear about the dyslexic guy who walked into a bra?

A Roman walks into a bar, sticks two fingers up to the barman and says, “Five beers please.”

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait 2 weeks to see if you got it.

When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.