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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2021 9:39 pm
by Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2021 8:00 pm
by Bob Juch
John and his buddy Bill were at the horse track when they saw a rabbi blessing a horse before a race. John said, “Hey, look at that. We should place a big bet on that horse.” They did, and when the race started, the horse took two steps and fell over dead.

John and Bill went down and found the rabbi and asked them what happened. The rabbi replied, “Oy, you goyim can’t tell the difference between a Kaddish and a Mi Sheberach.”

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2021 5:31 am
by Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2021 10:34 am
by Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2021 10:37 am
by BackInTex
Surprised this one hasn't made it here yet.....

The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At the Baptist Church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The Elders met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Episcopal Church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide

But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish Synagogue, but it's rumored that they took one squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel on their property since.

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2021 12:49 pm
by SpacemanSpiff
BackInTex wrote:
Mon Apr 26, 2021 10:37 am
Not much was heard from the Jewish Synagogue, but it's rumored that they took one squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel on their property since.
I think the squirrels were just making a mountain out of a mohel.

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2021 7:42 pm
by Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2021 6:42 am
by triviawayne
Bob Juch wrote:
Mon Apr 26, 2021 7:42 pm
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Wondering if I'm the only one who is waiting for the time after the contestant interviews are done for LeVar to look at the light indicating who has control of the board and telling them, "you have the con".

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2021 2:25 pm
by Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sun May 02, 2021 11:19 am
by Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Mon May 03, 2021 9:25 am
by Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Tue May 04, 2021 8:08 am
by Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Tue May 04, 2021 6:30 pm
by Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Wed May 05, 2021 5:09 am
by Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Wed May 05, 2021 12:52 pm
by Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Wed May 12, 2021 2:42 pm
by Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Thu May 20, 2021 7:35 am
by Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sat May 22, 2021 4:45 pm
by Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sun May 23, 2021 5:12 pm
by BackInTex
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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sun May 23, 2021 6:58 pm
by Bob Juch
BackInTex wrote:
Sun May 23, 2021 5:12 pm
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NBC wrote:Secretary of State Antony Blinken opted to waive sanctions against the Russian-owned company behind the pipeline, Nord Stream 2 AG, as well as its German CEO, Matthias Warnig, and other corporate officers, because sanctions "would negatively impact U.S. relations with Germany, the EU and other European allies and partners," said the State Department report, which was obtained by NBC News.

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Mon May 24, 2021 6:33 am
by BackInTex
Bob Juch wrote:
Sun May 23, 2021 6:58 pm
NBC wrote:Secretary of State Antony Blinken opted to waive sanctions against the Russian-owned company behind the pipeline, Nord Stream 2 AG, as well as its German CEO, Matthias Warnig, and other corporate officers, because sanctions "would negatively impact U.S. relations with Germany, the EU and other European allies and partners," said the State Department report, which was obtained by NBC News.
Uh huh. What about Canada? What about negatively impacting US Citizens. Joe is supposed to be doing what is best for the US, not Russia, Germany, the EU, Central and South Americans, etc. He is doing anything but.

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Mon May 24, 2021 9:06 am
by silverscreenselect
BackInTex wrote:
Mon May 24, 2021 6:33 am
[ Joe is supposed to be doing what is best for the US... He is doing anything but.
If you follow the actual news and not organizatioms like Americans for Limited Government, which is funded by Charles Koch, you would realize that's what Biden's been doing, despite zero support from the Republicans.

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Mon May 24, 2021 9:29 am
by tlynn78
silverscreenselect wrote:
Mon May 24, 2021 9:06 am
BackInTex wrote:
Mon May 24, 2021 6:33 am
[ Joe is supposed to be doing what is best for the US... He is doing anything but.
If you follow the actual news and not organizatioms like Americans for Limited Government, which is funded by Charles Koch, you would realize that's what Biden's been doing, despite zero support from the Republicans.
You win! Best "Joke of the Day" by a longshot.

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Mon May 24, 2021 10:50 am
by BackInTex
silverscreenselect wrote:
Mon May 24, 2021 9:06 am
BackInTex wrote:
Mon May 24, 2021 6:33 am
[ Joe is supposed to be doing what is best for the US... He is doing anything but.
If you follow the actual news and not organizatioms like Americans for Limited Government, which is funded by Charles Koch, you would realize that's what Biden's been doing, despite zero support from the Republicans.
Honestly, I've never heard of Americans for Limited Government before you brought it up. But no, Biden's not doing things that benefit Americans. Neither is Harris, who by the way, where the heck is she?

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Mon May 24, 2021 12:42 pm
by triviawayne
wow, almost 8 pages on a thread before it devolves into this crap - bravo for a new record people!