Joke of the Day

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Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

#176 Post by Bob Juch » Tue Apr 20, 2021 9:39 pm

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I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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Re: Joke of the Day

#177 Post by Bob Juch » Thu Apr 22, 2021 8:00 pm

John and his buddy Bill were at the horse track when they saw a rabbi blessing a horse before a race. John said, “Hey, look at that. We should place a big bet on that horse.” They did, and when the race started, the horse took two steps and fell over dead.

John and Bill went down and found the rabbi and asked them what happened. The rabbi replied, “Oy, you goyim can’t tell the difference between a Kaddish and a Mi Sheberach.”
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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Re: Joke of the Day

#178 Post by Vandal » Mon Apr 26, 2021 5:31 am

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Re: Joke of the Day

#179 Post by Vandal » Mon Apr 26, 2021 10:34 am

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Re: Joke of the Day

#180 Post by BackInTex » Mon Apr 26, 2021 10:37 am

Surprised this one hasn't made it here yet.....

The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At the Baptist Church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The Elders met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Episcopal Church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide

But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish Synagogue, but it's rumored that they took one squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel on their property since.
..what country can preserve it’s liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? let them take arms.
~~ Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Joke of the Day

#181 Post by SpacemanSpiff » Mon Apr 26, 2021 12:49 pm

BackInTex wrote:
Mon Apr 26, 2021 10:37 am
Not much was heard from the Jewish Synagogue, but it's rumored that they took one squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel on their property since.
I think the squirrels were just making a mountain out of a mohel.
"If you're dead, you don't have any freedoms at all." - Jason Isbell

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Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

#182 Post by Bob Juch » Mon Apr 26, 2021 7:42 pm

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I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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Re: Joke of the Day

#183 Post by triviawayne » Tue Apr 27, 2021 6:42 am

Bob Juch wrote:
Mon Apr 26, 2021 7:42 pm
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Wondering if I'm the only one who is waiting for the time after the contestant interviews are done for LeVar to look at the light indicating who has control of the board and telling them, "you have the con".

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Re: Joke of the Day

#184 Post by Vandal » Tue Apr 27, 2021 2:25 pm

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_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Ready: Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Re: Joke of the Day

#185 Post by Vandal » Sun May 02, 2021 11:19 am

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The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Ready: Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster

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Re: Joke of the Day

#186 Post by Bob Juch » Mon May 03, 2021 9:25 am

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I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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Re: Joke of the Day

#187 Post by Vandal » Tue May 04, 2021 8:08 am

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_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Ready: Devin Drake and The Family Secret

Working on:
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster

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Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

#188 Post by Bob Juch » Tue May 04, 2021 6:30 pm

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I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#189 Post by Vandal » Wed May 05, 2021 5:09 am

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_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Ready: Devin Drake and The Family Secret

Working on:
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster

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Re: Joke of the Day

#190 Post by Bob Juch » Wed May 05, 2021 12:52 pm

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I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

#191 Post by Bob Juch » Wed May 12, 2021 2:42 pm

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I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#192 Post by Vandal » Thu May 20, 2021 7:35 am

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_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Ready: Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster

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Re: Joke of the Day

#193 Post by Vandal » Sat May 22, 2021 4:45 pm

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The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Ready: Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster

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Re: Joke of the Day

#194 Post by BackInTex » Sun May 23, 2021 5:12 pm

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..what country can preserve it’s liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? let them take arms.
~~ Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Joke of the Day

#195 Post by Bob Juch » Sun May 23, 2021 6:58 pm

BackInTex wrote:
Sun May 23, 2021 5:12 pm
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NBC wrote:Secretary of State Antony Blinken opted to waive sanctions against the Russian-owned company behind the pipeline, Nord Stream 2 AG, as well as its German CEO, Matthias Warnig, and other corporate officers, because sanctions "would negatively impact U.S. relations with Germany, the EU and other European allies and partners," said the State Department report, which was obtained by NBC News.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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Re: Joke of the Day

#196 Post by BackInTex » Mon May 24, 2021 6:33 am

Bob Juch wrote:
Sun May 23, 2021 6:58 pm
NBC wrote:Secretary of State Antony Blinken opted to waive sanctions against the Russian-owned company behind the pipeline, Nord Stream 2 AG, as well as its German CEO, Matthias Warnig, and other corporate officers, because sanctions "would negatively impact U.S. relations with Germany, the EU and other European allies and partners," said the State Department report, which was obtained by NBC News.
Uh huh. What about Canada? What about negatively impacting US Citizens. Joe is supposed to be doing what is best for the US, not Russia, Germany, the EU, Central and South Americans, etc. He is doing anything but.
..what country can preserve it’s liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? let them take arms.
~~ Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Joke of the Day

#197 Post by silverscreenselect » Mon May 24, 2021 9:06 am

BackInTex wrote:
Mon May 24, 2021 6:33 am
[ Joe is supposed to be doing what is best for the US... He is doing anything but.
If you follow the actual news and not organizatioms like Americans for Limited Government, which is funded by Charles Koch, you would realize that's what Biden's been doing, despite zero support from the Republicans.
Check out our website: http://www.silverscreenvideos.com

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Re: Joke of the Day

#198 Post by tlynn78 » Mon May 24, 2021 9:29 am

silverscreenselect wrote:
Mon May 24, 2021 9:06 am
BackInTex wrote:
Mon May 24, 2021 6:33 am
[ Joe is supposed to be doing what is best for the US... He is doing anything but.
If you follow the actual news and not organizatioms like Americans for Limited Government, which is funded by Charles Koch, you would realize that's what Biden's been doing, despite zero support from the Republicans.
You win! Best "Joke of the Day" by a longshot.
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. -Thomas Paine

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Re: Joke of the Day

#199 Post by BackInTex » Mon May 24, 2021 10:50 am

silverscreenselect wrote:
Mon May 24, 2021 9:06 am
BackInTex wrote:
Mon May 24, 2021 6:33 am
[ Joe is supposed to be doing what is best for the US... He is doing anything but.
If you follow the actual news and not organizatioms like Americans for Limited Government, which is funded by Charles Koch, you would realize that's what Biden's been doing, despite zero support from the Republicans.
Honestly, I've never heard of Americans for Limited Government before you brought it up. But no, Biden's not doing things that benefit Americans. Neither is Harris, who by the way, where the heck is she?
..what country can preserve it’s liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? let them take arms.
~~ Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Joke of the Day

#200 Post by triviawayne » Mon May 24, 2021 12:42 pm

wow, almost 8 pages on a thread before it devolves into this crap - bravo for a new record people!

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