Joke of the Day

The forum for general posting. Come join the madness. :)
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Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

#201 Post by Bob Juch » Mon May 24, 2021 11:02 pm

Image
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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kroxquo
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Re: Joke of the Day

#202 Post by kroxquo » Tue May 25, 2021 5:04 am

triviawayne wrote:
Mon May 24, 2021 12:42 pm
wow, almost 8 pages on a thread before it devolves into this crap - bravo for a new record people!
I agree. Could we all of us pledge - no politics in this thread. I really like getting the chuckle whenever there is something new here.
You live and learn. Or at least you live. - Douglas Adams

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#203 Post by Vandal » Wed May 26, 2021 9:22 am

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Ready: Devin Drake and The Family Secret

Working on:
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster

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Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

#204 Post by Bob Juch » Wed May 26, 2021 11:03 pm

Image
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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Bob Juch
Posts: 24348
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
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Re: Joke of the Day

#205 Post by Bob Juch » Thu May 27, 2021 6:08 pm

Image
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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Bob Juch
Posts: 24348
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
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Re: Joke of the Day

#206 Post by Bob Juch » Fri May 28, 2021 10:06 am

Write your own caption:

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I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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Vandal
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Posts: 5498
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 6:42 pm
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Re: Joke of the Day

#207 Post by Vandal » Fri May 28, 2021 11:09 am

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Ready: Devin Drake and The Family Secret

Working on:
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster

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Bob Juch
Posts: 24348
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Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
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Re: Joke of the Day

#208 Post by Bob Juch » Fri May 28, 2021 10:20 pm

Image
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

User avatar
Bob Juch
Posts: 24348
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Day

#209 Post by Bob Juch » Mon May 31, 2021 12:11 pm

Image
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

User avatar
Bob Juch
Posts: 24348
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Day

#210 Post by Bob Juch » Wed Jun 02, 2021 5:36 pm

Image
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

User avatar
Bob Juch
Posts: 24348
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Day

#211 Post by Bob Juch » Thu Jun 03, 2021 7:22 pm

Image
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

User avatar
Bob Juch
Posts: 24348
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
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Re: Joke of the Day

#212 Post by Bob Juch » Fri Jun 04, 2021 12:57 pm

A Roman walks into a bar.

He holds up two fingers and says, ‘Five beers, please!’
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

User avatar
Bob Juch
Posts: 24348
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Day

#213 Post by Bob Juch » Sun Jun 06, 2021 7:33 pm

Image
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

User avatar
Bob Juch
Posts: 24348
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Day

#214 Post by Bob Juch » Mon Jun 07, 2021 5:37 pm

Image
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

User avatar
Bob Juch
Posts: 24348
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Day

#215 Post by Bob Juch » Mon Jun 07, 2021 6:19 pm

There was once a very elite bar at the top of a very tall, 100 story skyscraper. Once, on a very steamy night, an unusual patron walked into that bar. He was very handsome and muscular, wore glasses, and had an air of professionalism and self-assurance about himself.

He walked up to the bar, slapped down a credit card, and asked for a rare and exotic drink. After downing it, he walked over to the patio, leaped from the building, flew twice around it, and landed safely back on the patio. Other patrons noticed his impossible feat and sat there with their mouths agape. Three of those patrons rushed to the bartender, and each demanded to have the exact drink that the flying patron had ordered.

The barkeep said he’d like to, but the flying patron demanded it remain his secret. Each of the observers began trying to bribe the bartender until they bid astronomical amounts, and the bartender could resist no more. He served each the secret concoction, and they lined up at the opening in gleeful anticipation.

They all leaped off the patio, simultaneously clasping each other’s hands in a show of unity, but unfortunately, they fell 100 stories to their deaths. The flying patron ordered more rounds of the secret mixture. While facing the bartender, he raised his glass in a toast to the fallen. The bartender glared at him in disgust and said: Superman, sometimes you disgust me.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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BackInTex
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Re: Joke of the Day

#216 Post by BackInTex » Mon Jun 07, 2021 7:53 pm

I spent some time at the pool on Saturday. It was hot so I drank lots of water.
After a while I was a little uncomfortable, and feeling lazy, went to the deep end and pee'd.
The life guard blew his whistle so loud, I almost fell in.
..what country can preserve it’s liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? let them take arms.
~~ Thomas Jefferson

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Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

#217 Post by Bob Juch » Mon Jun 07, 2021 9:58 pm

The fact that some people can't distinguish between etymology and entomology bugs me in ways I can't put into words.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

User avatar
Bob Juch
Posts: 24348
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Day

#218 Post by Bob Juch » Tue Jun 08, 2021 10:40 pm

Image
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

User avatar
Vandal
Director of Promos
Posts: 5498
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 6:42 pm
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Re: Joke of the Day

#219 Post by Vandal » Thu Jun 10, 2021 7:12 am

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Ready: Devin Drake and The Family Secret

Working on:
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster

User avatar
Bob Juch
Posts: 24348
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Day

#220 Post by Bob Juch » Thu Jun 10, 2021 7:49 am

Image
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

User avatar
Bob Juch
Posts: 24348
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Day

#221 Post by Bob Juch » Thu Jun 10, 2021 11:59 am

Image
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

User avatar
Bob Juch
Posts: 24348
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Day

#222 Post by Bob Juch » Thu Jun 10, 2021 8:41 pm

Image
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

User avatar
Vandal
Director of Promos
Posts: 5498
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 6:42 pm
Location: Literary Circles
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Day

#223 Post by Vandal » Fri Jun 11, 2021 2:29 pm

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Ready: Devin Drake and The Family Secret

Working on:
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster

User avatar
Vandal
Director of Promos
Posts: 5498
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 6:42 pm
Location: Literary Circles
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Day

#224 Post by Vandal » Sat Jun 12, 2021 11:54 am

Image

Image

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Ready: Devin Drake and The Family Secret

Working on:
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster

User avatar
Bob Juch
Posts: 24348
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Day

#225 Post by Bob Juch » Sat Jun 12, 2021 1:19 pm

Image
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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