Joke of the Day
- Estonut
- Evil Genius
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Joke of the Day
Courtesy of Online Alarm Clock:
I went to the zoo today, but all they had was a dog. It was a Shih Tzu.
I went to the zoo today, but all they had was a dog. It was a Shih Tzu.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx
- triviawayne
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Re: Joke of the Day
Three guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ducks
- silverscreenselect
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Re: Joke of the Day
A horse walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Because you tell me that same @*#$&^ joke every time I come to this bar."
A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you have?" The skeleton says, "I'll have a beer and a mop."
A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you have?" The skeleton says, "I'll have a beer and a mop."
Check out our website: http://www.silverscreenvideos.com
- Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day
I washed my cat yesterday. I'm still trying to get all the hair out of my mouth.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.
- ne1410s
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Re: Joke of the Day
Wife: it says here that in reincarnation you come back as a different animal.
Husband: cool. I want to come back as a pig.
Wife: Dear, you’re not listening.
Husband: cool. I want to come back as a pig.
Wife: Dear, you’re not listening.
"When you argue with a fool, there are two fools in the argument."
- littlebeast13
- Dumbass
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Re: Joke of the Day
A dyslexic walks into a bra....
lb13
lb13
Thursday comics! Squirrel pictures! The link to my CafePress store! All kinds of fun stuff!!!!
Visit my Evil Squirrel blog here: http://evilsquirrelsnest.com
Visit my Evil Squirrel blog here: http://evilsquirrelsnest.com
- Beebs52
- Queen of Wack
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Re: Joke of the Day
If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you while you're in there?
European
European
Well, then
- Vandal
- Director of Promos
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Re: Joke of the Day
“Why do you want to watch a Zoom bris anyways?"
"You know it’s going to get cut short!”
"You know it’s going to get cut short!”
_________________________________________________________________________________
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Running On Empty
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The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark
Devin Drake and The Family Secret
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster
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- Vandal
- Director of Promos
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Re: Joke of the Day

_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark
Devin Drake and The Family Secret
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster
Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark
Devin Drake and The Family Secret
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster
Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com
- ShamelessWeasel
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Re: Joke of the Day
What did the Zen Master say to the hot dog vendor
Make me one with everything.
Make me one with everything.
- tlynn78
- Posts: 9260
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- Location: Montana
Re: Joke of the Day
How did the Italian chef die?
He pasta way.
He pasta way.
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. -Thomas Paine
You can ignore reality, but you can't ignore the consequences of ignoring reality. -Ayn Rand
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire
You can ignore reality, but you can't ignore the consequences of ignoring reality. -Ayn Rand
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire
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Re: Joke of the Day
Trump and two Corinthians walk into a bar …
- SpacemanSpiff
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Re: Joke of the Day
Why did the chicken go halfway across the road?
Why did the rooster cross the road?
Why did the cow cross the road?
Spoiler
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Spoiler
The hen egged him on.
Spoiler
The chicken was on vacation.
"If you're dead, you don't have any freedoms at all." - Jason Isbell
- Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Spoiler
They are very good at it.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.
- triviawayne
- Posts: 681
- Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2015 6:38 am
Re: Joke of the Day
How does Chewbacca get to the Millennium Falcon?
How does Scotty keep the Enterprise engine running?
What did Scotty find in the Enterprise toilet?
Spoiler
ewoks
How does Scotty keep the Enterprise engine running?
Spoiler
Spock plugs
Spoiler
Captain's log
- Vandal
- Director of Promos
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Re: Joke of the Day

_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark
Devin Drake and The Family Secret
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster
Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark
Devin Drake and The Family Secret
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster
Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com
- Beebs52
- Queen of Wack
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Re: Joke of the Day
Husband:
"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!"
"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!"
Well, then
- Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.
- Vandal
- Director of Promos
- Posts: 7049
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 6:42 pm
- Location: Literary Circles
- Contact:
Re: Joke of the Day

_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark
Devin Drake and The Family Secret
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster
Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark
Devin Drake and The Family Secret
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster
Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com
- triviawayne
- Posts: 681
- Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2015 6:38 am
Re: Joke of the Day
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but underwear made of Saran Wrap.
The doctor takes one look at him and says,
The doctor takes one look at him and says,
Spoiler
"clearly I can see your nuts."
- ne1410s
- Posts: 2961
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Re: Joke of the Day
Son (calling from jump school): Dad, we had our first night jump yesterday. I got to the door of the plane and froze. The jump master said if you don’t jump, boy, I’m going to shove this flashlight up your ass!
Dad: Well, did you jump?
Son: Yeah, a little.
Dad: Well, did you jump?
Son: Yeah, a little.
"When you argue with a fool, there are two fools in the argument."
- Bob Juch
- Posts: 26867
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
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Re: Joke of the Day
A recent finding by statisticians shows that the average human has one ovary and one testicle.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.
-
- Posts: 1590
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 12:15 pm
- Location: Skipperville, Tx.
Re: Joke of the Day
This reminds me of an old one.
Two old guys (maybe two Corinthians) in a rural grocery store. One asks the young lady wearing a very short skirt if she can help him get a loaf of raisin bread from the top shelf. She slides the ladder down to that part of the shelf, climbs up, grabs a loaf, and starts to come back down. The other one quickly blurts out: "Wait a second! I'd like a loaf, too." She starts to reach back up and then, to clarify, looks back at him and asks: "Is yours raisin, too?"
Spoiler
"Well, it's twitching a little."
- Estonut
- Evil Genius
- Posts: 10495
- Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2007 1:16 am
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Re: Joke of the Day
A guy passing the local barbershop pops his head in the door and asks, "Bob Peters here?"
The barber looks at him quizzically and replies, "No, sir! We just cut hair."
The barber looks at him quizzically and replies, "No, sir! We just cut hair."
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx
- Vandal
- Director of Promos
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Re: Joke of the Day

_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark
Devin Drake and The Family Secret
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster
Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man
The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark
Devin Drake and The Family Secret
Devin Drake and The RollerGhoster
Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com