WWTBAM Bored

Posted: **Tue Dec 21, 2021 2:22 pm**

The article I read gave the facts a bit differently. Maybe the truth is somewhere in between. It said the monkeys were stealing puppies and taking them to high places, trees or roofs, and the puppies would fall off or die of thirst. It said there were two monkeys, which were captured and taken to a rural area away from human habitation. It didn't say anything about targeting children.

Posted: **Wed Jan 05, 2022 11:41 am**

From the Nutmeg State:

Woman Who Earned $200,000 Selling Fart Jars Hospitalized By Her Work

Stephanie Matto has an unusual CV. After becoming a reality TV star by appearing on 90 Day Fiancé, Matto took up a new lucrative profession: selling jars of her own farts over the Internet.

Matto, from Connecticut, received a request for her jarred gas on the adult site Unfiltrd back in November. She charged a cool $1,000 per jar, before offering discounts around the holiday season (who knew so many would buy farts as gifts?), managing to make $200,000. At one point, she was pumping out 97 jars over two days to cope with demand.

Unfortunately, the fairytale career recently came to an abrupt end after her new lifestyle landed her in the hospital, feeling like she was having a heart attack.

Business (which, to reiterate, is farting into a jar and then sending it to people) was good. However, as the orders came in, she realized she was going to have to promote the passing of wind in order to keep filling them.

"I like to get things rolling with some beans, a protein muffin, sometimes even a yogurt (less sugar is better), some hard-boiled eggs," she said in an Instagram video, "While waiting for those farts to develop I like to read. I'm very smart, I love to read."

Later, she told Jam Press, she added in protein shakes to make the farts smell worse.

That mix, while certainly helping her bank account, had a less than pleasant effect on her bowels, and within two months of starting the project she was forced to give it up for health concerns.

https://www.iflscience.com/health-and-m ... b9xMmMU6D8

Posted: **Wed Jan 05, 2022 12:09 pm**

Jeff and I could be bazillionaires.

Posted: **Wed Jan 05, 2022 12:19 pm**

Everyday I'm surprised by how some folks are much different than me. While someone selling their own farts is odd enough, those spending money to buy them, as $1,000 no less, are ones that puzzle, and truthfully concern me. Anyone who'd spend $1,000 buying a celebrity fart, with no way to certify it's authenticity, is a fool and not be trusted.

Posted: **Wed Jan 05, 2022 1:00 pm**

BackInTex wrote: ↑
Wed Jan 05, 2022 12:19 pm
Everyday I'm surprised by how some folks are much different than me. While someone selling their own farts is odd enough, those spending money to buy them, as $1,000 no less, are ones that puzzle, and truthfully concern me. Anyone who'd spend $1,000 buying a celebrity fart, with no way to certify it's authenticity, is a fool and not be trusted.

We need more flatulent regulations.

Posted: **Wed Jan 05, 2022 1:38 pm**

BackInTex wrote: ↑
Wed Jan 05, 2022 12:19 pm
Everyday I'm surprised by how some folks are much different than me. While someone selling their own farts is odd enough, those spending money to buy them, as $1,000 no less, are ones that puzzle, and truthfully concern me. Anyone who'd spend $1,000 buying a celebrity fart, with no way to certify it's authenticity, is a fool and not be trusted.

Putting this in bold because it should be said over and over. To add to this: I'd say that anyone who spends any amount of money to buy anyone's (celeb or otherwise) fart is a fool.

That said - I've been on hundreds of TV shows. I think we're having broccoli for dinner tonight. Looks like my retirement fund may be looking good by the end of the week.

Posted: **Tue Jan 11, 2022 7:14 am**

Gotta catch 'em all:

Two Los Angeles police officers were fired for ignoring a robbery in progress and instead trying to catch a Snorlax in Pokémon Go

According to the officers’ appeal, former LAPD officers Louis Lozano and Eric Mitchell were fired for “willfully abdicating their duty to assist a commanding officer’s response to a robbery in progress and playing a Pokémon mobile game while on duty.”
The incident happened in April, 2017, at a Macy’s at Los Angeles’ Crenshaw Mall. According to court records, a patrol supervisor called Mitchell and Lozano to respond to an apparent robbery in progress at the Macy’s; several police officers left the scene of a homicide to respond to the call. Mitchell and Lozano, meanwhile, were in the area but didn’t respond to the call and instead backed down an alley and drove away.

A later investigation of video and audio evidence showed that Mitchell and Lozano discussed responding to the robbery but decided not to. Moments later, Mitchell and Lozano were recorded saying that a “Snorlax … just popped up .. at 46th and Leimert,” and the two strategized how to best catch the rare, gigantic Pokémon.
“For approximately the next 20 minutes, [the in-car monitoring system] captured [Mitchell and Lozano] discussing Pokémon as they drove to different locations where the virtual creatures apparently appeared on their mobile phones,” the court documents say. “On their way to the Snorlax location, Officer Mitchell alerted Officer Lozano that ‘a Togetic just popped up,’” referring to another Pokémon.

Though Mitchell and Lozano did not catch the alleged robbers at Macy’s, they did catch the Snorlax and Togetic after harrowing encounters with both. (A footnote in the court document notes that, “according to evidence admitted at the board of rights hearing, ‘Snorlax’ is a Pokémon creature known as ‘the Sleeping Pokémon.’” Anyone who has played Pokémon will know that Snorlaxes often block entire roads and can be woken with a Pokeflute, but is very difficult to catch because of his size and strength.)

https://www.vice.com/en/article/g5q593/ ... pokemon-go

Posted: **Tue Jan 11, 2022 10:03 am**

Vandal wrote: ↑
Tue Jan 11, 2022 7:14 am

Gotta catch 'em all:

Two Los Angeles police officers were fired for ignoring a robbery in progress and instead trying to catch a Snorlax in Pokémon Go

According to the officers’ appeal, former LAPD officers Louis Lozano and Eric Mitchell were fired for “willfully abdicating their duty to assist a commanding officer’s response to a robbery in progress and playing a Pokémon mobile game while on duty.”
The incident happened in April, 2017, at a Macy’s at Los Angeles’ Crenshaw Mall. According to court records, a patrol supervisor called Mitchell and Lozano to respond to an apparent robbery in progress at the Macy’s; several police officers left the scene of a homicide to respond to the call. Mitchell and Lozano, meanwhile, were in the area but didn’t respond to the call and instead backed down an alley and drove away.

A later investigation of video and audio evidence showed that Mitchell and Lozano discussed responding to the robbery but decided not to. Moments later, Mitchell and Lozano were recorded saying that a “Snorlax … just popped up .. at 46th and Leimert,” and the two strategized how to best catch the rare, gigantic Pokémon.
“For approximately the next 20 minutes, [the in-car monitoring system] captured [Mitchell and Lozano] discussing Pokémon as they drove to different locations where the virtual creatures apparently appeared on their mobile phones,” the court documents say. “On their way to the Snorlax location, Officer Mitchell alerted Officer Lozano that ‘a Togetic just popped up,’” referring to another Pokémon.

Though Mitchell and Lozano did not catch the alleged robbers at Macy’s, they did catch the Snorlax and Togetic after harrowing encounters with both. (A footnote in the court document notes that, “according to evidence admitted at the board of rights hearing, ‘Snorlax’ is a Pokémon creature known as ‘the Sleeping Pokémon.’” Anyone who has played Pokémon will know that Snorlaxes often block entire roads and can be woken with a Pokeflute, but is very difficult to catch because of his size and strength.)

https://www.vice.com/en/article/g5q593/ ... pokemon-go

They'd have probably been more strongly reprimanded if they'd apprehended the actual robbers.

Posted: **Tue Feb 01, 2022 11:13 am**

The City of Brotherly Love signs in:

Massive Brawl Breaks Out In Bensalem Golden Corral Over Alleged Steak Shortage

A Friday night out turned into a melee in Bensalem at a Golden Corral restaurant. Now police are trying to figure out how it started.
A former employee of the restaurant says he was told the fight may have happened after a customer became enraged when the buffet ran out of steak. Bensalem police confirm the brawl may have involved more than 40 people and happened following an argument among some customers. Officers are still looking into what caused the argument.

“There was a shortage of steak and two parties were involved and one family cut in front of another family, they were taking their time and they ran out of steak and it got into a heated exchange at the tables,” Gaven Lauletta said. In the video, a man is heard saying “all I wanted was some steak.” Golden Corral wouldn’t answer our email asking if a lack of steak caused the melee.

Running out of steak at a Golden Corral is a serious problem. You can't find meat like that just anywhere.

Posted: **Tue Feb 01, 2022 11:24 am**

silverscreenselect wrote: ↑
Tue Feb 01, 2022 11:13 am

Running out of steak at a Golden Corral is a serious problem. You can't find meat like that just anywhere.

Depends on how long since the health inspectors were there.

Posted: **Wed Feb 02, 2022 8:27 am**

silverscreenselect wrote: ↑
Tue Feb 01, 2022 11:13 am
The City of Brotherly Love signs in:

Massive Brawl Breaks Out In Bensalem Golden Corral Over Alleged Steak Shortage

A Friday night out turned into a melee in Bensalem at a Golden Corral restaurant. Now police are trying to figure out how it started.
A former employee of the restaurant says he was told the fight may have happened after a customer became enraged when the buffet ran out of steak. Bensalem police confirm the brawl may have involved more than 40 people and happened following an argument among some customers. Officers are still looking into what caused the argument.

“There was a shortage of steak and two parties were involved and one family cut in front of another family, they were taking their time and they ran out of steak and it got into a heated exchange at the tables,” Gaven Lauletta said. In the video, a man is heard saying “all I wanted was some steak.” Golden Corral wouldn’t answer our email asking if a lack of steak caused the melee.
Running out of steak at a Golden Corral is a serious problem. You can't find meat like that just anywhere.

The manager denied that the problem was running out of steak. Another media outlet reported that the trouble began when someone got their steak ahead of someone else in front of them.

Posted: **Tue Feb 08, 2022 11:54 am**

From Kentucky:

A car crashes and flips outside of a Nicholasville Wendy's, and both the driver and the passenger involved claim they were kidnapped by the other.

Officers were called to the Wendy's on Main Street at around 2:30 p.m. Monday. Police say the car is not registered to either person, but they don't believe the vehicle was stolen at this time.

Police say the car's passenger ran out with two guns in his hands and tossed them into the bushes.

Because both involved gave conflicting statements, detectives are still investigating what happened.

https://www.lex18.com/news/police-drive ... lle-wendys

Posted: **Tue Feb 15, 2022 11:36 am**

Drunken woman on motorized suitcase leads police chase through Orlando airport

ORLANDO, Fla. – An intoxicated passenger who was barred from boarding an airplane at Orlando International Airport rode away from the gate on a motorized suitcase as a police officer on a bicycle followed behind her, court records and newly released video shows.

“We’re going to have a bike pursuing a suitcase in a minute,” an Orlando police officer said as he tried to catch up to the passenger, who was driving a scooter-like electric vehicle mounted to her luggage.

Chelsea Alston, 32, was later accused of battering the police officer and causing more than $1,000 in damage to his patrol car, court records allege. If convicted, she faces up to five years in prison for each offense.

Alston is among several dozen passengers who have been arrested at Orlando International Airport during the COVID-19 pandemic for unruly or violent behavior, a News 6 investigation found.

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local ... cials-say/

Posted: **Tue Feb 22, 2022 8:56 am**

Woman accused of stabbing husband 140 times in Florida home

PALM SPRINGS, Fla. (AP) — A 61-year-old Florida woman is accused of stabbing her physically disabled husband more than 140 times and hitting him on the head with a meat cleaver to make sure he was dead.

Joan Burke was arrested Sunday and charged with first-degree murder, according to Palm Springs police. No motive was announced.

Melvin Weller's stepson found his body in a pool of blood on the couple's kitchen floor on Feb. 11. A bloody knife and meat cleaver were in the sink and blood was splattered throughout the room, a police report said.

Burke was found in a bedroom with cuts to both of her palms, news outlets reported.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/woman-accuse ... um=twitter

Posted: **Tue Feb 22, 2022 10:14 am**

Vandal wrote: ↑
Tue Feb 22, 2022 8:56 am
Woman accused of stabbing husband 140 times in Florida home

PALM SPRINGS, Fla. (AP) — A 61-year-old Florida woman is accused of stabbing her physically disabled husband more than 140 times and hitting him on the head with a meat cleaver to make sure he was dead.

Joan Burke was arrested Sunday and charged with first-degree murder, according to Palm Springs police. No motive was announced.

Melvin Weller's stepson found his body in a pool of blood on the couple's kitchen floor on Feb. 11. A bloody knife and meat cleaver were in the sink and blood was splattered throughout the room, a police report said.

Burke was found in a bedroom with cuts to both of her palms, news outlets reported.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/woman-accuse ... um=twitter

Dayum. At least she was... thorough?

Posted: **Mon Feb 28, 2022 7:03 am**

Man Hospitalized After Putting 15 Boiled Eggs Up His Anus

It all started with a report published last week in The Dutch Journal of Medicine titled "Step-by-step approach to rectal corpus alienum" – in other words: how to remove foreign bodies stuck in a patient's rectum. A truly noble cause.

"Patient C is a 29-year-old man who came to the emergency room around midnight because of acute stomach pain," the study reports. "Together with his partner, he had anally inserted 15 boiled and peeled eggs while under the influence of GHB earlier in the evening."

In a revelation that will shock approximately nobody, forcing 15 eggs up your rectum is not a good idea. The doctors confirmed a large intestinal tear caused by the side-dish-cum-suppositories, as well as extensive inflammation caused by feces leaking into it (fecal peritonitis).

"The eggs were removed as well as we could and the abdominal cavity was thoroughly rinsed," reports the case study. "After the operation, the patient was monitored for a short time in the ICU, and after a few days he was able to leave the hospital in a clinically good condition."

https://www.iflscience.com/health-and-m ... your-butt/

Posted: **Mon Feb 28, 2022 9:43 am**

Vandal wrote: ↑
Mon Feb 28, 2022 7:03 am
"Patient C is a 29-year-old man who came to the emergency room around midnight because of acute stomach pain," the study reports. "Together with his partner, he had anally inserted 15 boiled and peeled eggs while under the influence of GHB earlier in the evening."

At least, he didn't try it with 15 live monkeys.

Posted: **Mon Feb 28, 2022 12:50 pm**

Vandal wrote: ↑
Mon Feb 28, 2022 7:03 am
Man Hospitalized After Putting 15 Boiled Eggs Up His Anus

It all started with a report published last week in The Dutch Journal of Medicine titled "Step-by-step approach to rectal corpus alienum" – in other words: how to remove foreign bodies stuck in a patient's rectum. A truly noble cause.

"Patient C is a 29-year-old man who came to the emergency room around midnight because of acute stomach pain," the study reports. "Together with his partner, he had anally inserted 15 boiled and peeled eggs while under the influence of GHB earlier in the evening."

In a revelation that will shock approximately nobody, forcing 15 eggs up your rectum is not a good idea. The doctors confirmed a large intestinal tear caused by the side-dish-cum-suppositories, as well as extensive inflammation caused by feces leaking into it (fecal peritonitis).

"The eggs were removed as well as we could and the abdominal cavity was thoroughly rinsed," reports the case study. "After the operation, the patient was monitored for a short time in the ICU, and after a few days he was able to leave the hospital in a clinically good condition."

https://www.iflscience.com/health-and-m ... your-butt/

Ah, yes ... the old "reverse-Cool-Hand-Luke" maneuver.

Posted: **Mon Feb 28, 2022 6:49 pm**

silverscreenselect wrote: ↑
Mon Feb 28, 2022 9:43 am
Vandal wrote: ↑
Mon Feb 28, 2022 7:03 am
"Patient C is a 29-year-old man who came to the emergency room around midnight because of acute stomach pain," the study reports. "Together with his partner, he had anally inserted 15 boiled and peeled eggs while under the influence of GHB earlier in the evening."
At least, he didn't try it with 15 live monkeys.

Tell us what that feels like...

Posted: **Mon Mar 07, 2022 11:41 am**

Naked Florida man caught on camera defecating on neighbor’s porch

CLEARWATER, Fla. - A Clearwater man is accused of using a glass table on his neighbor’s porch as a toilet while in the buff.

Deputies arrested Kenneth Carlyle on Friday afternoon after they say he damaged personal property when he defecated on his neighbor’s porch.

Deputies say, Carlyle, who was naked at the time, was seen on home security footage walking up his neighbor’s driveway and committing the dirty deed.

According to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office, Carlyle was still in the nude when authorities found him at his RV. Deputies say he was uncooperative when they spoke to him about the incident.

https://www.fox13news.com/news/naked-fl ... um=twitter

Posted: **Tue Mar 08, 2022 11:48 am**

Deputies: ‘We’re looking to ID a naked man who stole an American flag’

VOLUSIA COUNTY, Fla. – Sheriff’s deputies are looking for a naked man caught on a home’s video surveillance camera stealing an American flag.

In a Tweet posted on Tuesday, the Volusia County sheriff’s office says they are looking to identify a man who stole an American flag from a home on John Anderson Drive in Ormond Beach last week.

Anyone with any information about who this man may be is encouraged to send tips to TMaxwell@vcso.us, call the office at 386-323-0151 or use the non-emergency line at 386-248-1777

https://twitter.com/VolusiaSheriff/stat ... an-flag%2F

Posted: **Tue Mar 08, 2022 3:10 pm**

Vandal wrote: ↑
Tue Mar 08, 2022 11:48 am
Deputies: ‘We’re looking to ID a naked man who stole an American flag’

VOLUSIA COUNTY, Fla. – Sheriff’s deputies are looking for a naked man caught on a home’s video surveillance camera stealing an American flag.

In a Tweet posted on Tuesday, the Volusia County sheriff’s office says they are looking to identify a man who stole an American flag from a home on John Anderson Drive in Ormond Beach last week.

Anyone with any information about who this man may be is encouraged to send tips to TMaxwell@vcso.us, call the office at 386-323-0151 or use the non-emergency line at 386-248-1777

https://twitter.com/VolusiaSheriff/stat ... an-flag%2F

Seems like he knew he was on camera (covering his Johnson). Perhaps he was just looking for something to cover himself up, having just become conscious from a night of drinking or other drugs.

Posted: **Tue Mar 08, 2022 4:25 pm**

And in other news:

Naked Clearwater man arrested for defecating on neighbor’s porch, deputies say

CLEARWATER, Fla. (WFLA) — A Clearwater man was arrested Friday afternoon after he defecated on his neighbor’s porch, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office.

An affidavit said Kenneth Clark Carlyle, 64, walked up to his next door neighbor’s porch completely naked at around 4:40 p.m. and defecated on an outdoor table.

Carlyle was in view of two security cameras during the incident, the affidavit added.

Deputies said they found Carlyle in his RV and spoke to him through his door while he was still naked and uncooperative.

Carlyle faces a charge of criminal mischief.

Posted: **Tue Mar 08, 2022 4:50 pm**

Bob Juch wrote: ↑
Tue Mar 08, 2022 4:25 pm
And in other news:

Naked Clearwater man arrested for defecating on neighbor’s porch, deputies say

CLEARWATER, Fla. (WFLA) — A Clearwater man was arrested Friday afternoon after he defecated on his neighbor’s porch, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office.

An affidavit said Kenneth Clark Carlyle, 64, walked up to his next door neighbor’s porch completely naked at around 4:40 p.m. and defecated on an outdoor table.

Carlyle was in view of two security cameras during the incident, the affidavit added.

Deputies said they found Carlyle in his RV and spoke to him through his door while he was still naked and uncooperative.

Carlyle faces a charge of criminal mischief.

He did it again?! Right after Vandal posted him doing this, oh, 3 posts back? I hope they lock him up for more than a day this time.

Posted: **Tue Mar 08, 2022 9:34 pm**

BackInTex wrote: ↑
Tue Mar 08, 2022 4:50 pm

Bob Juch wrote: ↑
Tue Mar 08, 2022 4:25 pm
And in other news:

Naked Clearwater man arrested for defecating on neighbor’s porch, deputies say

CLEARWATER, Fla. (WFLA) — A Clearwater man was arrested Friday afternoon after he defecated on his neighbor's porch, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office.

An affidavit said Kenneth Clark Carlyle, 64, walked up to his next door neighbor's porch completely naked at around 4:40 p.m. and defecated on an outdoor table.

Carlyle was in view of two security cameras during the incident, the affidavit added.

Deputies said they found Carlyle in his RV and spoke to him through his door while he was still naked and uncooperative.

Carlyle faces a charge of criminal mischief.
He did it again?! Right after Vandal posted him doing this, oh, 3 posts back? I hope they lock him up for more than a day this time.

Are you being funny, or do you think that's the same guy?

WWTBAM Bored

Meanwhile, in Florida...

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