Meanwhile, in Florida...

[Vandal]

Thong-wearing Florida man arrested while building shed with garbage on stranger's property

MARTIN COUNTY, Fla. (Gray News) - The sight of a man wearing a thong was all a Florida homeowner needed to call the Martin County Sheriff's Office last month.

Deputies arrested 31-year-old George Blankin on March 12. An arrest report reviewed by TCPalm said the homeowner saw him building a shed and throwing chairs.

"The trespasser was wearing a swimsuit and then a thong," the report stated.

Responding deputies said they found a man on the property who was not wearing a shirt or shorts, and he was covered with sand as if he'd just been at the beach.

The man was arrested but refused to identify himself. At the county jail, authorities used fingerprints to confirm Blankin as the suspect.

"He stated he was an artist that makes things from garbage," the arrest report read.

Blankin faces charges for giving a false name and obstruction without violence.

https://www.wctv.tv/content/news/508208552.html

[Beebs52]

I call making art out of garbage dinner.

[Vandal]

Florida man, a former jockey, sets ex's house on fire, flees from cops in a replica of the General Lee.

A former jockey set his ex-wife's house in southwest Marion County on fire after an apparent domestic dispute Tuesday night, then led deputies on a multi-county chase using different vehicles — one of them was a Dodge Charger painted to look like the “General Lee” from the TV show “The Dukes of Hazzard,” according to news reports.

Oswald Pereira, 44, was taken to UF Health Shands Hospital in Gainesville after suffering burns on 15% of his body. He faces charges such as fleeing and eluding, violation of a domestic violence protection order and assault on an officer, according to news reports. He also could face arson charges, pending a State Attorney's Office investigation.

https://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsaf ... -20190516/

[Vandal]

Pet alligator helps trapper's family reveal 10th baby's gender

TAMPA, Fla. (FOX 13) - It took a few chomps, but a pet alligator helped a Florida family at their latest gender reveal party.

Stacie Childs-Wright and her husband Chad are expecting, and they decided on a special way to announce the child’s gender: They had their pet alligator, “Amos,” make the big reveal. This will be their 10th child within their blended family.

After a couple a few tries, Amos popped the black balloon, revealing a cloud of pink powder.

http://www.fox35orlando.com/fast-five/a ... der-reveal

[jarnon]

Good that they didn't screw up and use the wrong color powder. Got to reveal the child's right gender.

[Vandal]

Man Takes Off Shirt, Poops In Stranger’s Driveway

https://t.co/PUo0x5AWVU?amp=1

[Beebs52]

Merv? Merv? You dint...

[silvercamaro]

This is why I want/don't want a ring doorbellcam. There are just some things I don't want to know.

[Vandal]

Florida man admits to lighting firecrackers under a child's bed. He said it was a prank gone wrong

A Florida man told Sheriff's deputies that he threw firecrackers under the bed of a sleeping 9-year-old girl in a "prank gone wrong," according to a post on the Okaloosa Sheriff's Office Facebook page.

Matthew Morrison, 44, of Crestview, Florida, was arrested Saturday after deputies responded to a home after the explosion woke the little girl.

The owner of the house where this happened told the Sheriff's office that Morrison lives in a tent outside the house and came inside without permission, according to the Sheriff's Office Facebook post. The homeowner told responding deputies he chased Morrison out of his house with a stick after the explosion.

Responding officers spoke with the little girl who said the explosion scared her, making her cry and shake, according to the Facebook post.

Morrison was arrested and charged with burglary, child cruelty without great harm, and possession of a controlled substance after deputies found two grams of methamphetamine in his pockets.

The Sheriff's Office did not immediately respond to CNN's request for comment. CNN was not able to immediately reach Morrison or determine whether he has legal representation.

https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/08/us/flori ... index.html

[silverscreenselect]

Morrison lives in a tent outside the house and came inside without permission,

Someone obviously didn't screen the people they let live in tents in their backyard closely enough.

[mellytu74]

GOD, I love this thread!!

[Vandal]

Illinois, the new Florida:

Illinois mom arrested after driving her 2 kids around in inflatable pool on roof of her car

DIXON, Ill. -- A mother in Illinois faces charges after police say she was driving her two kids around in an empty inflatable pool that was on the roof of her car.

Jennifer Janus Yeager, 49, was charged with two counts of endangering the health or life of a child and two counts of reckless conduct. She was also cited for failure to secure a passenger under the age of 8 and under the age of 16.

A concerned citizen called Dixon Police Department after seeing the children sitting inside the pool on the roof of the car, while Yeager was driving.

Officers pulled Yeager over and learned she drove into town to inflate the pool at a friends house.

Her two daughters were riding inside the empty pool to hold it down as their mother drove home, police said.

https://abc7.com/mom-arrested-after-dri ... -/5388895/

[silverscreenselect]

Florida Man Attacks Wife's Lover with Scissors and Flees with His Penis

The article did not specify if or where the incriminating evidence was found. The strangest thing in this article is that police are supposedly still trying to figure out the motive. Barney Fife must be alive and well and working in Gilchrist County.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nat ... 752177001/

[BackInTex]

Florida Man Attacks Wife's Lover with Scissors and Flees with His Penis

The article did not specify if or where the incriminating evidence was found. The strangest thing in this article is that police are supposedly still trying to figure out the motive. Barney Fife must be alive and well and working in Gilchrist County.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nat ... 752177001/

Charges against Bonilla include aggravated assault, armed battery and burglary.

Bonilla's Court Appointed Attorney Jimmy: What are the charges against you?
Bonilla: Assault, um, armed battery, and burglary.
Jimmy: Burglary? What did you steal?
Bonialla: Dick
Jimmy: Oh, sorry, you're right, my bad. I deserve that. What are you accused of stealing?

[Vandal]

Florida man accused of using squirt gun to shoot urine at his neighbor

GULFPORT, Fla. — A Florida man was arrested after allegedly using a squirt gun to shoot his own urine at a neighbor.

Joel Benjamin, 71, was arrested and charged with one count of misdemeanor battery.

According to Gulfport police, Benjamin used the squirt gun several times to shoot urine at a woman walking her dog past his home.

When asked if he committed the crime, police said Benjamin confirmed his actions and told police he would “do it again.”

Benjamin was released on $500 bail.

https://myfox8.com/2019/04/16/florida-m ... -neighbor/

[BackInTex]

Florida man accused of using squirt gun to shoot urine at his neighbor

GULFPORT, Fla. — A Florida man was arrested after allegedly using a squirt gun to shoot his own urine at a neighbor.

Joel Benjamin, 71, was arrested and charged with one count of misdemeanor battery.

According to Gulfport police, Benjamin used the squirt gun several times to shoot urine at a woman walking her dog past his home.

When asked if he committed the crime, police said Benjamin confirmed his actions and told police he would “do it again.”

Benjamin was released on $500 bail.

https://myfox8.com/2019/04/16/florida-m ... -neighbor/

If my neighbor did that to do that to me, I'd be really pissed.

[flockofseagulls104]

Florida man accused of using squirt gun to shoot urine at his neighbor

GULFPORT, Fla. — A Florida man was arrested after allegedly using a squirt gun to shoot his own urine at a neighbor.

Joel Benjamin, 71, was arrested and charged with one count of misdemeanor battery.

According to Gulfport police, Benjamin used the squirt gun several times to shoot urine at a woman walking her dog past his home.

When asked if he committed the crime, police said Benjamin confirmed his actions and told police he would “do it again.”

Benjamin was released on $500 bail.

https://myfox8.com/2019/04/16/florida-m ... -neighbor/

If my neighbor did that to do that to me, I'd be really pissed.

Isn't that Jeffrey Epstein?

[Vandal]

Female Juul Thief, 23, Tried To Make Getaway In Lyft Car, Then Uber Van

A California woman whose Instagram page is filled with photos chronicling her world travels was arrested this week for the unglamorous crime of stealing a Juul vaping device from a Florida gas station, a heist from which she first sought to flee in a Lyft car and then an Uber van, police report.

According to investigators, Kate Lamothe, 23, asked to purchase a Juul device around 11 PM Tuesday at an Exxon in Pinellas Park (where she was staying in a home about three miles from the gas station).

Lamothe, who arrived at the Exxon in a Lyft car, allegedly took the $42.79 Juul device from a clerk and bolted from the convenience store. When she attempted to flee in her Lyft, the driver declined the opportunity to be Lamothe’s wheelman.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/flo ... ged-846903

[Bob Juch]

Female Juul Thief, 23, Tried To Make Getaway In Lyft Car, Then Uber Van

A California woman whose Instagram page is filled with photos chronicling her world travels was arrested this week for the unglamorous crime of stealing a Juul vaping device from a Florida gas station, a heist from which she first sought to flee in a Lyft car and then an Uber van, police report.

According to investigators, Kate Lamothe, 23, asked to purchase a Juul device around 11 PM Tuesday at an Exxon in Pinellas Park (where she was staying in a home about three miles from the gas station).

Lamothe, who arrived at the Exxon in a Lyft car, allegedly took the $42.79 Juul device from a clerk and bolted from the convenience store. When she attempted to flee in her Lyft, the driver declined the opportunity to be Lamothe’s wheelman.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/flo ... ged-846903

Ironic website name.

[Vandal]

Florida woman sentenced after pulling alligator from her pants during traffic stop

A Florida woman who pulled an alligator out of her yoga pants during a traffic stop pleaded guilty to illegally possessing wild animals and was sentenced to probation, authorities said last week.

Ariel Machan-Le Quire, 25, was in the passenger seat of a car pulled over in May for running a stop sign in Punta Gorda, the Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office said at the time. Machan-Le Quire, along with 22-year-old driver Michael Clemons, initially claimed they were trying to collect snakes and frogs from underneath an overpass.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/fl ... DHP#page=2

[jarnon]

Woman plastic-wraps home ahead of Hurricane Dorian

Hope it works!

[Spock]

Female Juul Thief, 23, Tried To Make Getaway In Lyft Car, Then Uber Van

A California woman whose Instagram page is filled with photos chronicling her world travels was arrested this week for the unglamorous crime of stealing a Juul vaping device from a Florida gas station, a heist from which she first sought to flee in a Lyft car and then an Uber van, police report.

According to investigators, Kate Lamothe, 23, asked to purchase a Juul device around 11 PM Tuesday at an Exxon in Pinellas Park (where she was staying in a home about three miles from the gas station).

Lamothe, who arrived at the Exxon in a Lyft car, allegedly took the $42.79 Juul device from a clerk and bolted from the convenience store. When she attempted to flee in her Lyft, the driver declined the opportunity to be Lamothe’s wheelman.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/flo ... ged-846903

Ironic website name.

She is smokin' hot.

[BackInTex]

She is smokin' hot.

It's only vapor.

[Vandal]

17-Year-Old Girl Allegedly Used Parents' Debit Card To Pay Off Hitmen To Kill Them

A Florida 17-year-old is accused of stealing her parents' debit card, pillaging their accounts, and using the money to hire hitmen to kill them.

The girl, who Oxygen.com is not naming at this time because she's a minor, was charged on Tuesday with two counts of criminal solicitation for first-degree murder after authorities say she used her parents' debit card to withdraw more than $1,400, which she subsequently used to pay two different individuals to kill her parents, according to a Lake County Sheriff’s Office press release.

Police learned of the murder-for-hire scheme after a friend of the suspect allegedly told authorities that the teen had given her “a lot of money” to kill her parents. The teen suspect allegedly paid out $400 to the unidentified friend to perform the slayings. But when the plan didn’t materialize, police said she unloaded more cash from her parents' bank account and gave $900 to another man to whack her mother and father.

https://www.oxygen.com/crime-time/flori ... ainst-them

[Vandal]

In nearby Louisiana:

Camel sat on Milton woman when she crawled into his pen. So she bit his testicles.

A Milton woman bit a 600-pound camel's testicles Wednesday when it sat on her after she crawled into an enclosure at a petting zoo.

The petting zoo was at the Tiger Truck Stop in Grosse Tete, Louisiana.

Iberville Parish Sheriff's officials told The Advocate on Sunday that Edmond Lancaster had been throwing treats to their dog under the camel's fence. Their dog went into the enclosure and his wife, Gloria Lancaster, 73, crawled under barbed wire to retrieve the pet.

That's when the 600-pound camel sat on her. She told deputies she bit the camel's testicles to free herself. The woman was brought to a hospital.

Deputy Louis Hamilton Jr. said the couple provoked the camel and cited them for a leash law violation. He wrote in his report that the Lancasters gave numerous inconsistent verbal statements, according to The Advocate.

https://www.pnj.com/story/news/2019/09/ ... 425338001/