Candidate for Congress NE-18
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2018 4:17 pm
Hello, My name is Diversity Jones (or Divvy if you like), and I am running for Congress as a Democrat in District 19 in the great state of Nebraska. I am eager to represent the people of the 19th district, and I feel I am uniquely qualified. If I am fortunate enough to be elected, I will be the first Pan-Transgenic person to serve in Congress.
Pan-Transgenecism is a relatively new term for people with Chameleonic Personality Syndrome (CPS), which is widely accepted by most people I know. Basically, Pan-Transgenic people, like myself, can have widely different self-identities every time they wake up from a deep REM sleep state. For example, a Pan-Transgenic person can self-identify as a young, female African-American Buddhist on one day, then, after a sound sleep, wake up as a middle-aged Hispanic Coptic Christian the next day.
As a life-long Democrat (that never changes, and is the one thing all Pan-Transgenic people have in common), I have been urged to serve my country by running for Congress. And as a Pan-Transgenic, I feel I can represent everyone in my district fairly and equally, because I will be JUST LIKE YOU (for at least one day in each term).
My Pan-Transgenic pattern has been extensively studied and is remarkably consistent. 79 different characteristics of my personality have been identified, and most of them have been charted as to their frequency of appearance.
My gender identification is the most frequent to change. I rotate between all 51 different recognized genders on a daily basis. On Monday I might self-identify as a CIS Female, but on Tuesday I will self-identify as GenderQueer. Other characteristics that change on a different frequency include: Age (Both physical and maturity), Religious Affiliation, Pet Selection (dog or cat lover), Race, Physical Disabilities, Eye color and many more.
To help my future constituents to find the days that I will represent them the best, we have created an app which will show you the days that correspond to your particular fixed identity. Just fill out some questions and the app will show you what days I will be JUST LIKE YOU! Just go to divvyforcongress.com to download the app.
For example, on July 8, 2019, I will self-identify as a white, female, Hindi cat-lover with green eyes who lost her left leg below the knee in a protest against white supremacy. If that's you, come and see me on the 8th of July and we'll really get things done!
While I pretty much don't know anything about any political issues, I will do my best to advance yours if you catch me on the right day. So please vote for me, Divvy Jones. It will be an honor to serve you!
Pan-Transgenecism is a relatively new term for people with Chameleonic Personality Syndrome (CPS), which is widely accepted by most people I know. Basically, Pan-Transgenic people, like myself, can have widely different self-identities every time they wake up from a deep REM sleep state. For example, a Pan-Transgenic person can self-identify as a young, female African-American Buddhist on one day, then, after a sound sleep, wake up as a middle-aged Hispanic Coptic Christian the next day.
As a life-long Democrat (that never changes, and is the one thing all Pan-Transgenic people have in common), I have been urged to serve my country by running for Congress. And as a Pan-Transgenic, I feel I can represent everyone in my district fairly and equally, because I will be JUST LIKE YOU (for at least one day in each term).
My Pan-Transgenic pattern has been extensively studied and is remarkably consistent. 79 different characteristics of my personality have been identified, and most of them have been charted as to their frequency of appearance.
My gender identification is the most frequent to change. I rotate between all 51 different recognized genders on a daily basis. On Monday I might self-identify as a CIS Female, but on Tuesday I will self-identify as GenderQueer. Other characteristics that change on a different frequency include: Age (Both physical and maturity), Religious Affiliation, Pet Selection (dog or cat lover), Race, Physical Disabilities, Eye color and many more.
To help my future constituents to find the days that I will represent them the best, we have created an app which will show you the days that correspond to your particular fixed identity. Just fill out some questions and the app will show you what days I will be JUST LIKE YOU! Just go to divvyforcongress.com to download the app.
For example, on July 8, 2019, I will self-identify as a white, female, Hindi cat-lover with green eyes who lost her left leg below the knee in a protest against white supremacy. If that's you, come and see me on the 8th of July and we'll really get things done!
While I pretty much don't know anything about any political issues, I will do my best to advance yours if you catch me on the right day. So please vote for me, Divvy Jones. It will be an honor to serve you!