Such a day I had!!!!

Message

a1mamacat · #1 Post by **a1mamacat** » Fri May 02, 2008 7:42 pm

First, he's home. Original time of 9:30 am ended up being more like 2:30 pm due to missing paperwork, change of prosecutor etc.

Ex and parental units, we were all there to support him and each other. Made a big difference for the prosecutor, seeing that he had excellent support ready for him.

Released until his trial date, strict conditions like a curfew, probation, several No Go zones, and he will have to change schools.

Crown council dropped one of the charges as he said a 13 year old didn't need that much on his head, especially considering some of the outside circumstances. Don't know what will happen at trial, but at least for the next 4 weeks, as long as he follows the rules, he'll be at home.

I have a few days off work next week to do the running around with him. I have a glass of white wine, and some aromatherapy bath stuff for later. New boss was very understanding, even though I didn't go into any details other than "serious personal situation concerning son".

Thanks for all the PM's and notes posted. Sometimes the "anonimity" of the board is a blessing, as I can't really say much to people I know.

Beebs52 · #2 Post by **Beebs52** » Fri May 02, 2008 7:43 pm

Whew for a bit. It will all work out.

PlacentiaSoccerMom · #3 Post by **PlacentiaSoccerMom** » Fri May 02, 2008 7:46 pm

I am glad for your sake that he is home and that one of the charges was dropped.

takinover · #4 Post by **takinover** » Fri May 02, 2008 7:47 pm

Hope all goes well in the end.

christie1111 · #5 Post by **christie1111** » Fri May 02, 2008 7:49 pm

We are with you in spirit honey.

It would be a crowded courtroom otherwise.

kayrharris · #6 Post by **kayrharris** » Fri May 02, 2008 7:49 pm

About as good as it can get for now. Good luck with the future. I know things will get better.

BackInTex · #7 Post by **BackInTex** » Fri May 02, 2008 8:24 pm

Hang in there.

A nice bath will do you good.

Snaxx · #8 Post by **Snaxx** » Fri May 02, 2008 8:25 pm

Best of luck to you and your son Saucy!

.

Appa23 · #9 Post by **Appa23** » Fri May 02, 2008 11:12 pm

I am glad to hear that things do not appear as bad in the light of day.

I do not know the ins and out of Canadian law. I wonder how similar it is to our juvenile system here. I bring it up because juvenile problems do not need to "ruin" one's life here. Sealed records and "adjudications", not trials, can mean so much.

Hoping that some positives can arise from this situation.

Remember: those things that do not kill us, make us stronger!

ontellen · #10 Post by **ontellen** » Fri May 02, 2008 11:25 pm

We have something called "The Young Offenders Act" which I have really hated a lot of the time because kids are doing unspeakable crimes and getting away with it.

However, with a young kid like James who is likely doing something stupid it really works.

Anything a kid does before 18 is wiped off their record. I don't necessarily agree with it when it comes to horrendous crimes though and that's where there is a lot of controversy about this law.

However, a kid who does something incredibly stupid (as they can do) doesn't have to pay for it for the rest of their lives.

Ritterskoop · #11 Post by **Ritterskoop** » Sat May 03, 2008 12:00 am

ontellen wrote:We have something called "The Young Offenders Act" which I have really hated a lot of the time because kids are doing unspeakable crimes and getting away with it.

However, with a young kid like James who is likely doing something stupid it really works.

Anything a kid does before 18 is wiped off their record. I don't necessarily agree with it when it comes to horrendous crimes though and that's where there is a lot of controversy about this law.

However, a kid who does something incredibly stupid (as they can do) doesn't have to pay for it for the rest of their lives.

I think stuff like this works best when we sort it into violent and nonviolent offenses. I might lower the age to 16, but I approve of not having some things follow you around forever.

Aside from that, best wishes to James and his family.

T_Bone0806 · #12 Post by **T_Bone0806** » Sat May 03, 2008 9:24 am

Sometimes greater lessons are learned from mistakes than from sailing through life without adversity. Of course we wish the latter for our children, but, as John Lennon said in a lyric, "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans" (which I think he got from another source, but I digress..)

And Saucy, you need to NOT blame yourself, as I saw you doing in another post. Some things you don't see coming no matter how hard you're looking. Kids will always find a way to make unwise decisions. From what I see in your posts, you have always been his constant, and far from an uninterested mother, so perhaps you need to ease up on yourself a little and place some of the responsibility on James for making the choices he did. He has come to the age where he has noone but himself to blame for the right and wrong decisions he has made. Again, from what I have read in your posts, I have no doubt that you have taught him what is proper and what is not, so if he made the wrong choice, the blame starts with the boy in the mirror and he has to take some responsibility for that. The LAST thing I would think is that you were a neglectful parent. The LAST thing.

In the long run, more good may come from this than you think. One would hope that this will scare the hell out of him and put him on the right path. He's young enough that this doesn't need to haunt him forever.

As for you, you're already doing what you need to be doing...being his mom and being there for him.

Catfish · #13 Post by **Catfish** » Sat May 03, 2008 10:28 am

What T-Bone said. He is very wise.

I'm glad James is home, and I will continue to keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,

MarleysGh0st · #14 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Sat May 03, 2008 11:19 am

christie1111 wrote:We are with you in spirit honey.

It would be a crowded courtroom otherwise.

It would be.

Do you have time for some more {{{{{hugs}}}}}, Saucy?

melleon · #15 Post by **melleon** » Sun May 04, 2008 4:09 pm

Just getting caught up on post reading...glad to know James is home with his loving A1 MAMA. Praying and hoping all works out. Mel

peacock2121 · #16 Post by **peacock2121** » Mon May 05, 2008 7:48 am

Saucy,

You have my support. You have my empathy.

I know you will have this be a turning point in James' life.

Whatever happened happened. There is nothing you can do about the past. Deal with the consequences of the past. Map out a future and then deal with the day to day doings.

Hugs to you all.

nitrah55 · #17 Post by **nitrah55** » Mon May 05, 2008 8:37 am

Sounds like the clouds are parting a bit.

Continued prayers and good thoughts.

tlynn78 · #18 Post by **tlynn78** » Mon May 05, 2008 10:00 am

Oh, wow, Saucy, I'm sorry you and James are going through this. Hang in there. It's sometimes hard to remember why we don't eat our young, but remember: this, too, shall pass. It really does.

hugs
t.

ghostjmf · #19 Post by **ghostjmf** » Mon May 05, 2008 11:43 am

a1mamacat says:

First, he's home. Original time of 9:30 am ended up being more like 2:30 pm due to missing paperwork, change of prosecutor etc.

I was pleading a speeding once upon a time when the start-off case on the docket, involving a minor as offender (parent was with them), was dropped entirely because the officer-as-prosecutor (this was not in Mass, but in another state where it works that way) was dropped entirely because the officer said, with a completely straight face, that they'd lost the files. The judge with an identically straight face said they'd have to drop the charges, then. This happens, sometimes.

Crown council dropped one of the charges as he said a 13 year old didn't need that much on his head, especially considering some of the outside circumstances.

Certainly a step in a good direction. If they thought he should have it on his head, they'd have kept it there. Maybe they think "shouldn't, but we have to go through the process" about some of the other charges too.