WWTBAM Bored

(Opinion)

The master of the kon tiki torch - oops, I'm sorry, the clean shirt supply - was especially harsh on hapless tribe Malolo last Wednesday night (3/28).

'Malolo may be one of the worst tribes in terms of challenge performance that we've ever had,' Probst railed at its team members during the weekly elimination he calls 'Tribal Council'. 'You may never win a Survivor challenge as a tribe.'

Okay, three things wrong with that assessment:

1) Thanks to yet another one of Jeff's 'game-changing twists' (and you know, he really needs some new, fresher twists), the tribes were shaken up for the second time this season at the beginning of that episode, so the current Malolo tribe (the third this season) has only technically lost the one challenge so far.

2) Although Malolo's overall performance this season hasn't been anything to sing from a hilltop about, they DID win the big Immunity Challenge in episode three, so 'never' is not only a harsh word for him to use - it's also completely untrue.

3) If Malolo is such an unlucky name for a tribe, why didn't Jeff rename the tribe altogether? He's had two opportunities to do so already this season - squandered!!

This guy gets paid $200,000 per episode to host this show (source: TheRichest.com), but to me, he's really not doing much during his limited screen time. Drop a twist, watch them squirm from the sidelines. Change shirt. Dish out some rules about a challenge, watch the others suffer from the sidelines. Change shirt. Whine at them at Tribal Council, watch them bicker (yes, you guessed it!) from the sidelines. Don't change shirt, he's still on camera. Announce the vote, watch from the sidelines - ooo! his favorite part! Snuff out another torch - done for the week. Collect $200,000 cheque for passing Go, plead Fifth Amendment if anyone asks.

I think in addition to the recap, 'Survivor' could benefit from a cold open preview similar to what Brooke Burns used to do on NBC's 'Dog Eat Dog' - with Jeff actually trying out one of the week's big challenges in person. That way he's doing something more constructive, and actually earning that three or four million dollars per season.

Otherwise, he's shaking up the tribes repeatedly for no apparent reason other than to say to everyone, 'What A Twist!!'

Hey Jeff! Wanna tinker with something that's not broken to start with? I hear Microsoft is hiring.

Jeff is the on-screen face of a large production staff. He doesn’t personally come up with all the challenges and twists. As a producer he has a hand in decisions (like Chris on Millionaire) but he doesn’t rule the roost like The Apprentice.

One thing Jeff could tinker with is his catch phrases. “The tribe has spoken” is sacrosanct, but “Want to know what you’re playing for?” and so on aren’t.

WARNING
I kept my post non-political, but it didn’t last. Keep reading at your own risk.

The only change needed is for "Survivor" to go away permanently. It started the devolution of television and American society almost 20 years ago--this trend of reality shows pandering to the lowest common denominator, ultimately leading to a lowest common denominator reality host being allowed to occupy the White House for the past 14 months.

Pastor Fireball wrote:The only change needed is for "Survivor" to go away permanently. It started the devolution of television and American society almost 20 years ago.

IMHO Survivor belongs to a generally positive class of shows like American Idol and Millionaire. It’s the non-competitive reality shows that are dumbing down our culture.