Frank Capra Presents ... The Boredseidon Adventure
Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2017 7:22 pm
Scene: In the vast ocean known as cyberspace, the S. S. Boredseidon, known simply as The Bored, cruises
along peacefully without a worry in the world.
The passengers and crew of this carefree vessel, also known as BBs, play games and enjoy each other’s company
as they celebrate their tenth year together.
Scene: An hour later, the Captain Silverscreen receives a distressing call as Flock looks on.
Captain Silverscreen: Dear God, no!
Flock: What is it captain?
Captain Silverscreen: Something terrible is heading our way.
Flock: What is it? A tidal wave?
Captain Silverscreen: Even worse than that. A political post about FAKE NEWS!! It’s… it’s… ginormous.
Flock: FAKE NEWS? On our Bored? Surely, you’re not serious.
Captain Silverscreen: I’m totally serious…
and don’t call me Shirley.
Scene: With no time to react, the FAKE NEWS thread arrives…
and completely overwhelms The Bored.
Scene: The Bored is turned completely upside down.
Scene: Esto secures the always handy Reference Thread to a higher deck and helps others to his level
Reverend T-Bone and others climb up.
The reference thread begins to break down and all below are trapped forever. Some of the survivors look on:
Reverend T-Bone:
Tangredi:
Tgirl, his wife with a “questionable” past:
Beebs and Mrkelley (a nice older couple):
Esto and “the rest” (c’mon, it’s an all-star cast):
Scene: Led by Reverend T-Bone, the ragtag group makes its way to the bottom (now the top) of The Bored.
T-Bone: We have to keep climbing toward the FNGD forum. It’s the only way out.
Tangredi: Are you sure about that, preacher?
T-Bone: It’s the only way out. Look, the FAKE NEWS keeps rising.
Scene: T-Bone and the others trudge on toward the FNGD forum
The FAKE NEWS quickly catching up…
Scene: They come to what they hope is the way to safety…
Tangredi: Wait a minute! This is no goddamn FNGD forum!
Tgirl: Then where the Hell are we?
T-Bone: There was a backdoor leading to the FNGD forum.
Mrkelley: But now it's covered in FAKE NEWS posts. Wow, that’s one, ugly political thread.
T-Bone: All right. We'll swim through it. Give me the rope.
Tgirl: You've gotta be kidding! You know how many Trump posts there are in there?
Tangredi: If the backdoor’s underwater what about the FNDG forum?
T-Bone: It's in the clear. It's one level up. It's above us, just past the Bored Index.
We'll swim to it. It can't be more than six pages of political posts at the most.
Tgirl: Oh, is that all!
T-Bone: We can do it. Trust me, we can do it!
Scene: T-Bone dons a rope in search of a passage way to the FNGD forum while the others look on
Tangredi: He’s been gone a long time. I think something happened.
Beebs: I’ll go after him. I have two young grandchildren and change their diapers every day.
If I can put up with their shit I can certainly handle a FAKE NEWS thread. I’m going in!
Scene: Beebs holds her breath and plunges headlong into the swill of the FAKE NEWS thread.
and rescues T-Bone from a large Putin post (Editor’s note: Damn, that girl can swim!)
and onward toward the FNGD forum.
But Beebs was wrong about her tolerance for political swill...
and she is permanently logged off.
Scene: One by one, the other BBs make it to the FNGD forum. Mrkelley comforts his fallen wife.
T-Bone: We have to keep moving. Once we get past the Bored Index, we may have a chance. Let’s keep climbing.
Scene: Onward they go. Past the Transcripts forum and Suggestion Box.
But their passage way is blocked by a rogue post. There is no getting through it or around it.
Tangredi: Now what do we do? Someone needs to unpin that post or we’ll all die in here.
T-Bone: I’m the only one with admin privileges, so I’ll have to do it.
[T-Bone moves closer to pinned post]
T-Bone: What more do you want of us? We've come all this way, no thanks to you. We did it on our own, no help from you.
Tangredi: Who’s he talking to?
Mrkelley: Probably Tuba Dave. Or maybe God. It’s hard to tell, sometimes.
T-Bone: We did ask you to fight for us but damn it, don't fight against us! Leave us alone!
How many more sacrifices? How much more blood?
[jumps onto pinned post]
T-Bone: How many more BBs?
[Starts unpinning post]
T-Bone: Beebs wasn't enough. You want another BB? Then take me!
[Post is now unpinned. Turns to face survivors]
T-Bone: You can make it. Keep going. Tangredi! Get them through.
Scene: With the post unpinned, the survivors make one last trek through the FNGD forum. From there, they hear a rescue team trying to access The Bored.
Tuba Dave and the rescue team log in…
And The Bored goes on.
[cue music]
There’s got to be a morning after.
The Great Bored Game Returns
Decades! Tenth Anniversary Edition
Coming this fall
To The Bored
Your Bored
My Bored
Our Bored
And nowhere else!
along peacefully without a worry in the world.
The passengers and crew of this carefree vessel, also known as BBs, play games and enjoy each other’s company
as they celebrate their tenth year together.
Scene: An hour later, the Captain Silverscreen receives a distressing call as Flock looks on.
Captain Silverscreen: Dear God, no!
Flock: What is it captain?
Captain Silverscreen: Something terrible is heading our way.
Flock: What is it? A tidal wave?
Captain Silverscreen: Even worse than that. A political post about FAKE NEWS!! It’s… it’s… ginormous.
Flock: FAKE NEWS? On our Bored? Surely, you’re not serious.
Captain Silverscreen: I’m totally serious…
and don’t call me Shirley.
Scene: With no time to react, the FAKE NEWS thread arrives…
and completely overwhelms The Bored.
Scene: The Bored is turned completely upside down.
Scene: Esto secures the always handy Reference Thread to a higher deck and helps others to his level
Reverend T-Bone and others climb up.
The reference thread begins to break down and all below are trapped forever. Some of the survivors look on:
Reverend T-Bone:
Tangredi:
Tgirl, his wife with a “questionable” past:
Beebs and Mrkelley (a nice older couple):
Esto and “the rest” (c’mon, it’s an all-star cast):
Scene: Led by Reverend T-Bone, the ragtag group makes its way to the bottom (now the top) of The Bored.
T-Bone: We have to keep climbing toward the FNGD forum. It’s the only way out.
Tangredi: Are you sure about that, preacher?
T-Bone: It’s the only way out. Look, the FAKE NEWS keeps rising.
Scene: T-Bone and the others trudge on toward the FNGD forum
The FAKE NEWS quickly catching up…
Scene: They come to what they hope is the way to safety…
Tangredi: Wait a minute! This is no goddamn FNGD forum!
Tgirl: Then where the Hell are we?
T-Bone: There was a backdoor leading to the FNGD forum.
Mrkelley: But now it's covered in FAKE NEWS posts. Wow, that’s one, ugly political thread.
T-Bone: All right. We'll swim through it. Give me the rope.
Tgirl: You've gotta be kidding! You know how many Trump posts there are in there?
Tangredi: If the backdoor’s underwater what about the FNDG forum?
T-Bone: It's in the clear. It's one level up. It's above us, just past the Bored Index.
We'll swim to it. It can't be more than six pages of political posts at the most.
Tgirl: Oh, is that all!
T-Bone: We can do it. Trust me, we can do it!
Scene: T-Bone dons a rope in search of a passage way to the FNGD forum while the others look on
Tangredi: He’s been gone a long time. I think something happened.
Beebs: I’ll go after him. I have two young grandchildren and change their diapers every day.
If I can put up with their shit I can certainly handle a FAKE NEWS thread. I’m going in!
Scene: Beebs holds her breath and plunges headlong into the swill of the FAKE NEWS thread.
and rescues T-Bone from a large Putin post (Editor’s note: Damn, that girl can swim!)
and onward toward the FNGD forum.
But Beebs was wrong about her tolerance for political swill...
and she is permanently logged off.
Scene: One by one, the other BBs make it to the FNGD forum. Mrkelley comforts his fallen wife.
T-Bone: We have to keep moving. Once we get past the Bored Index, we may have a chance. Let’s keep climbing.
Scene: Onward they go. Past the Transcripts forum and Suggestion Box.
But their passage way is blocked by a rogue post. There is no getting through it or around it.
Tangredi: Now what do we do? Someone needs to unpin that post or we’ll all die in here.
T-Bone: I’m the only one with admin privileges, so I’ll have to do it.
[T-Bone moves closer to pinned post]
T-Bone: What more do you want of us? We've come all this way, no thanks to you. We did it on our own, no help from you.
Tangredi: Who’s he talking to?
Mrkelley: Probably Tuba Dave. Or maybe God. It’s hard to tell, sometimes.
T-Bone: We did ask you to fight for us but damn it, don't fight against us! Leave us alone!
How many more sacrifices? How much more blood?
[jumps onto pinned post]
T-Bone: How many more BBs?
[Starts unpinning post]
T-Bone: Beebs wasn't enough. You want another BB? Then take me!
[Post is now unpinned. Turns to face survivors]
T-Bone: You can make it. Keep going. Tangredi! Get them through.
Scene: With the post unpinned, the survivors make one last trek through the FNGD forum. From there, they hear a rescue team trying to access The Bored.
Tuba Dave and the rescue team log in…
And The Bored goes on.
[cue music]
There’s got to be a morning after.
The Great Bored Game Returns
Decades! Tenth Anniversary Edition
Coming this fall
To The Bored
Your Bored
My Bored
Our Bored
And nowhere else!
