The final week of TEN! is sponsored by...

[Sam Kinison]

The Fireplace Channel. Tell WGN to take their one-day-per-year televised yule log and shove it up their ass. Now you can watch wood smoldering on your television 24 hours per day, 365 days per year. And they know how much you hate hearing the same tired holiday songs every Christmas, so that's why The Fireplace Channel has no music whatsoever. It's just kindling. All kindling, all the time. The Fireplace Channel: Feel the burn!

Nobody should really explain why I'm advertising The Fireplace Channel, but since this is the WWTBAM Bored, everything needs to be explained. It's because I'M IN HELL AND I'M BURNING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Hell has been getting very crowded lately with all of the people who claimed to be Christians but voted for that rubber-faced gropeopotamus Donald Drumpf. Just think how crowded it'll be down here once the other 62 million people finally drop dead. But don't worry, Bob78164. There will still be plenty of room down here for closet conservatives like you, too. The demons can't wait to do to you what Bill McKinney did to Ned Beatty in "Deliverance". Maybe then, you'll learn not to persecute good people.