WWTBAM Bored

OK--Buffette (4th grade) brings home her report card today and she is so psyched--she (and I) are sure she finally got an A in social studies because she aced each of the three tests this quarter (she worked her heart out studying) and she participates well in class discussions--like her old man, she loves history.

B.

Why--earlier this quarter she had to do one of these b.s. school projects--this one was "construct a timeline of revolutionary war events using a picture you draw as a backdrop." You parents out there know these--the kind of thing that 90%+ of parents basically do for their kids. Well, my daughter said she could do it herself so I let her--and, unfortunately, owing in large part to her fine motor delays (after having viral meningitis as a 3-week-old) it was far from neat and she apparently left out one item--she got a D. Meanwhile, of course, kids are bringing in projects that looked like they were done by the Rand Corporation and they got A's.

I can't stand these damn things. I play fair and try to teach my kid to do things the right way and she suffers. These parents basically do these for their kids--I call that "cheating"--and their kids are rewarded. She is devastated and, worse, wonders why she should study for next week's test when all her hard work didn't get her an A. Frankly, I wonder the same thing.

When I was in fourth grade, we had a project - American History, IIRC.

One of my father's coworkers at the bus barn, Iron John, was from the Lenni Lenape tribe. I liked him very much because he told me stories when my father brought me to strike headquarters at the luncheonette.

As a tribute to Iron John, I decided to do something Lenni Lenape.

I went to the little park around the corner, got bark for my bark wigwams and twigs for the lean-tos. From Mom's card & gift shop, I took the thin grey cardboard from the greeting card boxes to provide the base for my bark wigwams.

I generally liked stuff like this, because I liked history and, for Iron John's sake, I wanted this to be good.

The only parental contribution - other than supervision - was some canvas from the bus barn, which I turned into tiny moccasins and clothing.

I really worked hard on this. I thought it was pretty good.

So did Sister James Chrysistom. So good, in fact, that I could not possibly have done it myself.

I got a C+. For the research. Since I couldn't possibly have executed it myself.

My father was livid. TLAF was none too pleased, either.

What made it especially tough was that our shop was a block away from the convent and the sisters came in all the time for cards.

In the end, Iron John said he was very touched and that meant a lot.

That it sticks in my craw 46 years later tells you something, though.

Buffacuse wrote: Well, my daughter said she could do it herself so I let her--and, unfortunately, owing in large part to her fine motor delays (after having viral meningitis as a 3-week-old) it was far from neat and she apparently left out one item--she got a D.

The teacher told you that it got a D simply because of a lack of neatness and only one missing item in the time line?

Did you think that it was neat?

That's crap.

You know it, and I know it, and in all honesty, the teacher probably knows it, too.

Unfortunately, you've got to find a way to turn it around, for her sake. Don't make a big deal out of it eating at you, or she'll just get more and more bitter about it. If you focus on the positive, tell her how proud you are of her for working so hard and acing those tests, the idio0t teacher will have very little affect, if any.

Her disappointment will be magnified, or diminished, by your reactions. Be bigger than the teacher.

I am with Mr. K on this.

The fact that people I cared about - TLAF, Dad and Iron John - were proud of my project meant more to me than anything.

Tell her how proud you are of how hard she studies.

mellytu74 wrote:I am with Mr. K on this.

The fact that people I cared about - TLAF, Dad and Iron John - were proud of my project meant more to me than anything.

Tell her how proud you are of how hard she studies.

Plus, nobody in life will ever care what her grade school grades were.

Appa23 wrote:

mellytu74 wrote:I am with Mr. K on this.

The fact that people I cared about - TLAF, Dad and Iron John - were proud of my project meant more to me than anything.

Tell her how proud you are of how hard she studies.

Plus, nobody in life will ever care what her grade school grades were.

That's not necessarily true. Her high school may pigeonhole her due to her grammar school grades.

Buffacuse wrote:She is devastated and, worse, wonders why she should study for next week's test when all her hard work didn't get her an A. Frankly, I wonder the same thing.

You should also point out what her overall grade would have been, had she not worked hard studying for all of the tests.

Bob Juch wrote:
That's not necessarily true. Her high school may pigeonhole her due to her grammar school grades.

High schools may pigeonhole -- but are far more likely to do so on the basis of standardized tests alone. I've never encountered a secondary school that cared about grades in elementary school.

Estonut wrote:

Buffacuse wrote:She is devastated and, worse, wonders why she should study for next week's test when all her hard work didn't get her an A. Frankly, I wonder the same thing.

You should also point out what her overall grade would have been, had she not worked hard studying for all of the tests.

That'a a very good point.

If she has problems with the projects, perhaps she can ask for extra credit for this quarter to help her grade.

I know how interested you are in your kid's education.

I know how you take an active role.

I know your actions are different than many other parents actions - those who do the project vs those that don't and know that there is a project.

You also set the tone for how your daughter sees her teachers. You set the tone for her relationship to her teachers - are they her ally or someone she has to fight with? Are they there for her benefit or to stop her? She will follow your lead.

Whatever opinions you have about the teacher and her grading and what she allows, deal with the teacher - deal with her straight. Don't whine, don't complain - find out the rules. Again - don't whine.

Your daughter will reflect your point of view.

mellytu74 says:

I really worked hard on this. I thought it was pretty good.

So did Sister James Chrysistom. So good, in fact, that I could not possibly have done it myself.

I got called in to the teacher in an early college class, to find out if I had "really written" a report on the 2 more-neglected senses, smell & taste. I was so blown away by the question I didn't really understand at 1st what they were asking; "Of course I didn't do any original research", I said, "but I've referenced my sources". "Oh, you're asking if I actually wrote the sentences? Well, they're papraphrases of the articles I've cited, but, yes, they're my own words, see, right there are the sources you can check".

This one had a good turnout; the teacher apologized, saying "in this class we usually get people who can barely write, so I had to check".

Playwrite August Wilson didn't have it so good; a teacher questioned his report on I believe it was Napoleon (which he had researched & written but his sister had typed for him) & he dropped out of college. He finished up in life (except for the dying way too young) OK, though.