Steven SpielBored Presents...Bored Clue
Posted: Wed May 25, 2016 9:57 am
Scene: Six BBs are invited to a special forum on The Bored, one created just for this event.
Each has received a PM instructing them when to arrive. The guest BBs include:
Professor LB Plum:
Mrs. Melly Peacock:
Miss Beebs Scarlet:
Colonel BiT Mustard:
Mrs. Tgirl White:
Mr. T_Bone Green:
They are met at the forum entrance by the forum administrator/butler, Esto:
Scene: They assemble in the dining forum, where Esto tells them they are all being blackmailed
Scene: Esto makes an announcement concerning another guest
Esto: This is Mr. silverscreenselect, or SSS…
He is the one blackmailing each one of you.
SSS: It’s true. I have something on everyone, be it a scathing political post, an unfortunate photo on Instagram,
a drunken Tweet, a Pin-terest of interest. Now everybody make this face:
SSS: Close enough. Now for each of you I have a package with a special gift inside. Here, this one if for you,
Mrs. Melly Peacock:
Scene: The six BBs reveal the contents of their packages:
a revolver
a candlestick
a rope
a lead pipe
a wrench
a knife
SSS: Now I suggest we use these weapons to permanently log out Esto and destroy the evidence to keep
these secrets safe.
Scene: SSS turns out the lights and a shot rings out. When the lights come back on, SSS is slumped on the floor.
Professor LB Plum: He’s dead, Jim.
Mrs. Tgirl White: There’s no one named Jim here.
Professor LB Plum: There is now.
Miss Beebs Scarlet: Who invited him? Not that I’m complaining or anything.
Captain: My name is…Captain James T. Kirk. Well…hello there. [Eyes Miss Scarlet] How about a…rendezvous?
Miss Beebs Scarlet: Oh my!
Scene: They hear a scream and run out of the room and into the billiard forum
where they find the Saucy the maid logged out on the billiard table
Colonel BiT Mustard: Not again!
Colonel BiT Mustard: Look, he’s back.
Mrs. Melly Peacock: How is that possible?
Miss Beebs Scarlet: What a wonderful mystery!
Scene: Another scream fills the Bored. The BBs run toward it and find themselves in another forum
with another victim
Mr. T_Bone Green: It’s that Kirk guy. How can he be in three places at once? None of this makes any sense.
Esto: I think I have it figured out!
Scene: Esto and the others run from forum to forum as Esto explains it all
Esto: While we stood here, Captain Kirk stood there and killed SSS. Now onto the billiard room.
Esto: I contend that Kirk committed this murder, also.
Mr. T_Bone Green: But he was in the other forum at the time. We all saw him.
Esto: Who we saw was Captain Kirk. Saucy was killed by Admiral Kirk. He got promoted for
The Wrath of Khan.
Miss Beebs Scarlet: That doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.
Esto: It makes as much sense as the new Star Trek movies.
Miss Beebs Scarlet: True.
Mrs. Melly Peacock: Then who killed Admiral Kirk? We all saw the body.
Esto: Actually, it was Captain Kirk. He was demoted after The Voyage Home. You see, Starfleet
determined that--
Mrs. Melly Peacock: Please stop!
Esto: Anyway, one of us had to do it. Isn’t that right, Miss Beebs Scarlet?
Miss Beebs Scarlet: [points gun]: You all think you’re so clever. Kirk and I were having an affair and
SSS knew about it and was blackmailing me. Something had to give.
Colonel BiT Mustard: So Kirk killed SSS and you killed Kirk. Pretty nifty.
Esto: Is that what happened, Miss Beebs Scarlet?
Mr. T_Bone Green: No [grabs gun]
Mr. T_Bone Green: I killed SSS.
Esto: Why? Because he was blackmailing you, too?
Mr. T_Bone Green: I just got tired of his crap. I mean, seriously, is anyone here going to miss him?
Professor LB Plum: Not me.
Mrs. Melly Peacock: Nope. Not even a little.
Miss Beebs Scarlet: SSS, we hardly knew ya.
Colonel BiT Mustard: Good riddance.
Mrs. Tgirl White: Too bad, so sad.
Mr. T_Bone Green: My real reason is simple. I needed to make sure the main Bored is clear so I can post the
Boney 500, my ALL-TIME favorite 350 songs and 150 favorite albums.
Esto: Well that explains everything. Let’s pose one more time and call it a night.
Get a clue!
T_Bone presents
The Boney 500!
The greatest songs and
albums of all time
Starting Memorial Day
Each has received a PM instructing them when to arrive. The guest BBs include:
Professor LB Plum:
Mrs. Melly Peacock:
Miss Beebs Scarlet:
Colonel BiT Mustard:
Mrs. Tgirl White:
Mr. T_Bone Green:
They are met at the forum entrance by the forum administrator/butler, Esto:
Scene: They assemble in the dining forum, where Esto tells them they are all being blackmailed
Scene: Esto makes an announcement concerning another guest
Esto: This is Mr. silverscreenselect, or SSS…
He is the one blackmailing each one of you.
SSS: It’s true. I have something on everyone, be it a scathing political post, an unfortunate photo on Instagram,
a drunken Tweet, a Pin-terest of interest. Now everybody make this face:
SSS: Close enough. Now for each of you I have a package with a special gift inside. Here, this one if for you,
Mrs. Melly Peacock:
Scene: The six BBs reveal the contents of their packages:
a revolver
a candlestick
a rope
a lead pipe
a wrench
a knife
SSS: Now I suggest we use these weapons to permanently log out Esto and destroy the evidence to keep
these secrets safe.
Scene: SSS turns out the lights and a shot rings out. When the lights come back on, SSS is slumped on the floor.
Professor LB Plum: He’s dead, Jim.
Mrs. Tgirl White: There’s no one named Jim here.
Professor LB Plum: There is now.
Miss Beebs Scarlet: Who invited him? Not that I’m complaining or anything.
Captain: My name is…Captain James T. Kirk. Well…hello there. [Eyes Miss Scarlet] How about a…rendezvous?
Miss Beebs Scarlet: Oh my!
Scene: They hear a scream and run out of the room and into the billiard forum
where they find the Saucy the maid logged out on the billiard table
Colonel BiT Mustard: Not again!
Colonel BiT Mustard: Look, he’s back.
Mrs. Melly Peacock: How is that possible?
Miss Beebs Scarlet: What a wonderful mystery!
Scene: Another scream fills the Bored. The BBs run toward it and find themselves in another forum
with another victim
Mr. T_Bone Green: It’s that Kirk guy. How can he be in three places at once? None of this makes any sense.
Esto: I think I have it figured out!
Scene: Esto and the others run from forum to forum as Esto explains it all
Esto: While we stood here, Captain Kirk stood there and killed SSS. Now onto the billiard room.
Esto: I contend that Kirk committed this murder, also.
Mr. T_Bone Green: But he was in the other forum at the time. We all saw him.
Esto: Who we saw was Captain Kirk. Saucy was killed by Admiral Kirk. He got promoted for
The Wrath of Khan.
Miss Beebs Scarlet: That doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.
Esto: It makes as much sense as the new Star Trek movies.
Miss Beebs Scarlet: True.
Mrs. Melly Peacock: Then who killed Admiral Kirk? We all saw the body.
Esto: Actually, it was Captain Kirk. He was demoted after The Voyage Home. You see, Starfleet
determined that--
Mrs. Melly Peacock: Please stop!
Esto: Anyway, one of us had to do it. Isn’t that right, Miss Beebs Scarlet?
Miss Beebs Scarlet: [points gun]: You all think you’re so clever. Kirk and I were having an affair and
SSS knew about it and was blackmailing me. Something had to give.
Colonel BiT Mustard: So Kirk killed SSS and you killed Kirk. Pretty nifty.
Esto: Is that what happened, Miss Beebs Scarlet?
Mr. T_Bone Green: No [grabs gun]
Mr. T_Bone Green: I killed SSS.
Esto: Why? Because he was blackmailing you, too?
Mr. T_Bone Green: I just got tired of his crap. I mean, seriously, is anyone here going to miss him?
Professor LB Plum: Not me.
Mrs. Melly Peacock: Nope. Not even a little.
Miss Beebs Scarlet: SSS, we hardly knew ya.
Colonel BiT Mustard: Good riddance.
Mrs. Tgirl White: Too bad, so sad.
Mr. T_Bone Green: My real reason is simple. I needed to make sure the main Bored is clear so I can post the
Boney 500, my ALL-TIME favorite 350 songs and 150 favorite albums.
Esto: Well that explains everything. Let’s pose one more time and call it a night.
Spoiler
Mr. T_Bone Green in the dining room with a gun
T_Bone presents
The Boney 500!
The greatest songs and
albums of all time
Starting Memorial Day