George Clooney Presents...The Monuments BBs

[George Clooney]

Introduction: During the great Bored shutdown of 2014, much of the Bored artwork was stolen by Morlock infiltrators.
They also pilfered the historical collection of Lyrically Speaking and every Bored notebook.






Seven brave BBs took on the challenge of finding these valuable items and returning them to their rightful place.
They are The Monuments BBs






Scene: Bored archivist Marley Stokes explains the situation to President Dave


Marley: You can wipe out an entire generation of BBs, you can disable their forums and somehow they'll still find their way back.
But if you destroy their history, you destroy their achievements and it's as if they never existed.
That's what the Morlocks want and that's exactly what we are fighting for.

President Dave: So what do want from me?



Marley: I’ll need to get some men to the front line, check every unused FNGD forum and stalled political post.
The history of the Bored is out there and we need to find it. Who would make sure that the Queen Fantine is still smiling?
Who will protect her?

President Dave: You realize none of this makes any sense, right?

Marley: We’re counting on that.

President Dave: Very well, assemble your men.





Scene: Marley meets with T-Bone Granger, an expert on music and music history






Marley: I’m to put a team together and try to protect what’s left and find what’s missing.

[reading from a document from the office of President Dave]

T-Bone: The Monuments BBs




[points to the document]

Marley: Signed by Dave

T-Bone: How many men?



Marley: For now, six.

T-Bone: Jesus




Marley: Well, with you it’s seven.

T-Bone: Well that’s much better. So you want to go into a war zone with some over-the-hill BBs and tell our boys what they can and can not blow up?



Marley: That’s the idea.

T-Bone: Aren’t we a little old for that?



Marley: Yes. [smiles]


Scene: The Monuments BBs begin to arrive on site.
















Scene: Marley explains the situation to the Monuments BBs







Marley: We’ve narrowed down the search. Our intel tells us the artwork is being hidden in long-abandoned FNGD forums and political threads.



Sgt. Esto: Do you know how many political threads there are? Some of those go down a long way.



Marley: We found a map that may be helpful





Macrae: It looks like there may be some LS scrolls in the abandoned chat room.


Marley: Yesterday we found 16,000 artifacts in an election thread. It seems the Morlocks take better care of their art than people.



BackInFrance: That doesn’t make any sense, Marley.



Marley: I’m counting on that.


Scene: T-Bone meets up with Beebs, a type-casted French BB of, ahem, semi-easy virtue



Beebs: We’ve rescued some of the Boney Awards threads. I’m positive the rest are still around.

T-Bone: Great. I can’t wait to tell the others.



Beebs: So you won’t be staying? I will make it worth your while.



T-Bone: No, really, I have to get back.



Beebs: But I am a French woman of semi-easy virtue. I’ll show you some of my selfies.



T-Bone: Wow. You’re really…limber.



T-Bone: Wow!


Scene: The Monuments BBs arrive at an abandoned political thread





Marley: It’s huge.




Suitguy: It’s from 2008. A banner year for political discussions.



Scene: Inside the political thread, the Monuments BBs check every post




…find some artifacts…







…and begin moving them out of the thread…




…and loading them up.




Scene: Something is not quite right for Marley



Marley: Still no sign of the Queen Fantine painting. There has to be another thread we’re missing. I’m going back in.



T-Bone: I’m going with you





Scene: The men return and show off the artifacts they found






…including all the Lyrically Speaking and Boney Awards lists…





Scene: Marley meets with President Dave one more time




President Dave: I heard you lost some men on this expedition.

Marley: Yes, two fine BBs were permanently logged out.

President Dave: So I have to ask you, Marley. Was it worth it?

Marley: You tell me:

Spoiler

Lyrically Speaking Winter Extravaganza
Returns January 5, 2015
The wait is over!

[tlynn78]

Epic. Suck it, North Korea.

[BackInTex]

Bravo! Thanks for giving me a good looking character.

But, I need to change my password. My wife sees me smoking again I'm toast.

[Beebs52]

Virtue??! Fooled ya. But, then again I'm from Fraaunce..This is a monument!

[Catfish]

Awesome!
Love,

[MarleysGh0st]

My mustache has never looked better!

But, uhhhh, wasn't there an awful lot of walking around without any lines in the first act?

[franktangredi]

Huzzah!

[George Clooney]

My mustache has never looked better!

But, uhhhh, wasn't there an awful lot of walking around without any lines in the first act?

I heard some guy named Uly once had an issue with the first act.


Once.

[mellytu74]

WOW!! Just WOW!!

[T_Bone0806]

Brilliant...I burst out laughing when I saw the artwork they had saved..Bravo!!

[SportsFan68]

I do not need to feign any moral outrage!!! That artwork couldn't be any more at the bottom of the barrel even if there were no barrel!! This is a disgrace to the free world! And the art world! And George Clooney! And George Clooney fans everywhere!!

OutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrage..............

[MarleysGh0st]

I do not need to feign any moral outrage!!! That artwork couldn't be any more at the bottom of the barrel even if there were no barrel!! This is a disgrace to the free world! And the art world! And George Clooney! And George Clooney fans everywhere!!

OutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrage..............

You'd let the Morlocks destroy our heritage?

[kayrharris]

Brillant! What else can I say??

kay

[littlebeast13]

I do not need to feign any moral outrage!!! That artwork couldn't be any more at the bottom of the barrel even if there were no barrel!! This is a disgrace to the free world! And the art world! And George Clooney! And George Clooney fans everywhere!!

OutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrageOutrage..............

You'd let the Morlocks destroy our heritage?

Translation: Sprots is very happy that Clooney and his men saved the "La Sprotsie Bella"...

lb13

[Flybrick]

Bravo!

That was exceedingly well done and laugh-out loud funny.

And better than the original...


Again, bravo!