I am littlebeast13 - A Confession
Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2014 12:27 pm
Now that someone has proven theirself smart enough to ferret out the truth, I think it’s only right that I confess the charade that I have been perpetrating for nearly 15 years. I apologize to all who have been taken in and deeply regret any lives I may have destroyed in the process.
It all started on the old board when I thought it would be fun to make up a character who liked to make fun of Craig Paquette (he’s a former baseball player, ghost). I even posted as Craig Paquette a few times before I had the idea to pretend that littlebeast13 (who I named after the English translation of a Pokemon character’s name) would appear on WWTBAM. I attended the auditions myself in St. Louis just so I could make my descriptions believable, and I happened to notice a guy there named Bill Brown who somewhat miraculously got selected for the show. That gave me a face to attach to my character to make it even more convincing.
From there, everything just mushroomed out of control. I started spending more and more time on the Bored, flirting with Bored babes in long threads, making up additional Merry Men, drawing thousands of squirrel cartoons, writing a blog, and creating music lyrics games (and pretending to suck at them as myself), all just trying to keep up the exhausting lifestyle that lb13 exemplifies to all his fans. I had to drive to a neighboring town and spend long hours in the Walmart there in order to memorize its music CD, since my local Walmart never plays any music. I managed two teams in the BBBL every year for twelve years (neither of which has ever won the championship). I even had to find the real Bill Brown in Granite City and pay him to pretend to be lb13 so that lb could visit some of his Bored buddies in person.
After 15 years, I am relieved to have the truth come out and lift this immense burden from my back. It has been taking up all my time, and I need to get my life back before it is too late. Again, my sincerest apologies for the lie I have inflicted on all of you (also for some of the language in my most recent – and last – post as lb13).
P.S. I was also jananddean back on the old bored.
P.P.S. Since I know so many of you love the lb13 character and his artistic creations, I have persuaded a friend of mine named Bob Zmuda to continue to impersonate him in my place. Bob has a lot of experience with this sort of thing, and happens to be an excellent drawer of squirrels, so I expect a seamless transition.
It all started on the old board when I thought it would be fun to make up a character who liked to make fun of Craig Paquette (he’s a former baseball player, ghost). I even posted as Craig Paquette a few times before I had the idea to pretend that littlebeast13 (who I named after the English translation of a Pokemon character’s name) would appear on WWTBAM. I attended the auditions myself in St. Louis just so I could make my descriptions believable, and I happened to notice a guy there named Bill Brown who somewhat miraculously got selected for the show. That gave me a face to attach to my character to make it even more convincing.
From there, everything just mushroomed out of control. I started spending more and more time on the Bored, flirting with Bored babes in long threads, making up additional Merry Men, drawing thousands of squirrel cartoons, writing a blog, and creating music lyrics games (and pretending to suck at them as myself), all just trying to keep up the exhausting lifestyle that lb13 exemplifies to all his fans. I had to drive to a neighboring town and spend long hours in the Walmart there in order to memorize its music CD, since my local Walmart never plays any music. I managed two teams in the BBBL every year for twelve years (neither of which has ever won the championship). I even had to find the real Bill Brown in Granite City and pay him to pretend to be lb13 so that lb could visit some of his Bored buddies in person.
After 15 years, I am relieved to have the truth come out and lift this immense burden from my back. It has been taking up all my time, and I need to get my life back before it is too late. Again, my sincerest apologies for the lie I have inflicted on all of you (also for some of the language in my most recent – and last – post as lb13).
P.S. I was also jananddean back on the old bored.
P.P.S. Since I know so many of you love the lb13 character and his artistic creations, I have persuaded a friend of mine named Bob Zmuda to continue to impersonate him in my place. Bob has a lot of experience with this sort of thing, and happens to be an excellent drawer of squirrels, so I expect a seamless transition.
