WWTBAM Bored

Landed at LAX at 8:30, got rental car and went straight to Warner Brothers Studios for a late breakfast then a VIP tour. It was a nice tour. Learned a lot about how they fool you when filming….forced perception or something. Got a nice picture of us on the 7th couch used in Friends’ Central Perk. Afterwards we went to Hollywood Blvd. and took a walking tour. I wasn’t too keen on the idea, thought it would be a bit old-fogeyish but I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. The tour guide seemed very knowledgeable about the history of Hollywood and talked continuously for nearly 2 hours as we walked through Grauman’s Egyptian Theatre, down Hollywood drive to Dolby Theatre, on to Grauman’s Chinese Theatre and back. We then toured Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum. That was pretty cool, too. We then drove up to the Griffith Park Observatory. Well, not all the way. We had to hike the last ¾ mile uphill because the parking lot was full. But the view was worth it. We got to the hotel around 8:30, checked in, then walked over to the restaurant Fuego in the Maya Hotel. The desk clerk at our hotel said it was Mexican, but it is really only Latin-influenced. And expensive. Because it was so late I just shared a salad with my wife and we each had a bowl of tortilla soup. My son had grilled salmon, which he would have liked had they not smothered it with some cream sauce. 2 1/2 stars (3 ½ starts less 1 star for being over-priced).

My driving day. First to Beverly Hills. Got out and walked up and down Rodeo Drive, getting harassed by one sales guy trying to sell my wife $600 worth of facial cream. He came down to $450, including two extra jars of stuff but we didn’t bite. At one point I almost said I didn’t want my wife to look any better….otherwise she might leave me. We then drove through much of Beverly Hills and up to Mulholland and back down to Sherman Oaks where we all ate our first In and Out burger. Box is now checked, no need to eat another one. We’ve got Whataburger. Then we headed to Malibu. Drove through Malibu stopping at one beach, walking to the water and got our feet wet. COLD! That box checked. Kept driving north(ish) to Oxnard. I say north(ish) because driving along the coastal areas is really east-west, but in my mind it was always north-south. I got corrected several times during the visit by the locals. Went to the beach in Oxnard. A really nice park. Got some great pictures of my wife sitting in the dunes. Got ice cream at Baskin-Robbins. I preferred a local place but there was none.  We then headed back. Got back to Long Beach about 8:00, had Mexican Food at Tequila Jack’s. 3 ½ stars. Food (shrimp enchiladas and fish tacos) was pretty good, but the salsa was so so. And I question whether they put any tequila in the margaritas.

The best day. Did a 2 ½ hour morning whale watching cruise out of Newport Beach harbor. Saw 5-6 whales, hundreds of dolphins and probably 50 sea lions. The morning was cloudy but by the time we returned it was sunny and 70 degrees…beautiful. When we docked we ate lunch at Newport Landing. It was fabulous. Delicious food, low price, beautiful view, great service. 5 stars. We saw one of the rarest of creatures in California: a conservative. He owned the bike shop. Had a Bush/Cheney bumper sticker on the wall. He talked about buying a house in Texas, Houston or Austin. Commented about how liberal he heard Austin was. I suggested if he wanted to spend a few months a year in Texas, Austin was best, despite the liberals.  We then rented bikes and rode up and down Newport Beach for about an hour. We were shocked to see the beach front elementary school with the playground on the beach. Wow, lucky kids. It was recess when we rode through. I took pictures so my wife could harass her kids showing them where the good kids get to have recess.  After bike riding we headed back to Long Beach to the Queen Mary. We only had two hours to do both the Queen Mary AND the Aquarium of the Pacific. Once we got our tickets to the Queen Mary they told us it included the “Haunted Ship Tour”. That was 30 minutes of cheese and a waste of half the time we had on the ship, so we didn’t get to see very much. When we got to the aquarium we had 30 minutes. We actually were able to see all the exhibits, but pretty much like Chevy Chase at the Grand Canyon in National Lampoon’s Vacation. Nod head, nod head, nod head…”O.K. Let’s go kids.” We got kicked out at 6:00. From there we went over to Bubba Gump’s and had drinks and appetizers/dinner. I was in the mood for a good drink and some food so I give them 5 stars, but probably only should have been 3 ½. Timing is everything. Then I got conned into going to see Divergent. Ugh! Seemed like a cheap Hunger Games copycat. Emphasis on cheap. Two thumbs, no, three thumbs down from us. Back to the hotel and bed at 11:00.

Six Flags Magic Mountain. There at opening, 10:30 almost through closing, leaving at 8:45. Great rides. A very clean park, but it was the first day of the year, so that doesn't mean much. Astroworld in Houston was always so nasty by the middle of Summer, but then Six Flags America outside D.C. was really clean when we went in August a few years back. Anyway, we are roller coaster/thrill ride people so we rode:

Golliath – 7 of 10. Fast and fun, but not unique.
Colossus, Backwards- 7 of 10. Classic wooden coaster with a gimmick, backwards.
Scream – very fast, low gravity, 8 of 10
Batman, the Ride Backwards – 7 of 10
Green Lantern – 8 of 10 stars, very unique
The Riddler’s Revenge – 8 of 10. Standing up the entire ride makes it a unique experience. Tallest and fastest standing up ride in the world, not that there are that many, though.
Tatsu – 11 of 10. Absolute best ride, EVER. Longest and fastest flying ride. If you are scared of heights or have the slightest of doubts about the mechanical soundness of the restraint system, this ride is not for you.
Viper – 8 of 10. Fast and loopy, seven loops in all.
X2 – 10 of 10, 2nd best ride ever. Rode it at night making it even more thrilling. “Total sensory deformation” is a good slogan for this ride. Again, you must have absolute faith in the restraint system. Nothing in front of you but 100 feet of air, then the ground.
After leaving the park we stopped and had pizza at Nick and Willies in Valencia. 3 ½ stars, the max you can give a casual pizza joint. Good pizza. Yum. Back at the hotel at 11:00 for the 4 hours of sleep before we had to get up to pack and leave for the airport.

7:00 AM flight back to Houston. I slept most of the way. Zzzzzzz
It was a great trip. The first time we’ve taken only one child with us on vacation since we had only one child. It was nice.

Didn't mind the freeways too much. Google maps w/traffic was a must and a terrific benefit. Routed me around accidents with ease.

I like the fact that drivers drive 80 if the can safely, despite the 55 mph speed limit. Don't like that they seem to be more free with the horns than New Yorkers.

It was fun harassing the transvestite prostitute that stole something from CVS while I was there. The alarm went off as soon as he/she got near the door. He/she said "I brought this in with me." holding up his/her Starbucks cup. I laughed when the clerk rolled her eyes. No attempt to stop him/her. When I walked out he/she was still in the parking lot and I yelled "Looks like you got away with it!" and he/she replied "I didn't take nothing." and I responded back with a laugh, "We both know you're a thief, no point in denying it." He/she looked angry.

Everyone we talked to or met (aside from the she/man) was really nice. Well, many of the folks on Hollywood Blvd. weren't so pleasing to look at, but for the most part they were behaving themselves. But the normal people were nice.