Venting About a Relationship

[Spock]

My sister and I are fighting. I think we both have to come to the conclusion(I am essentially there) that there is not a good enough of a relationship between us to even worry about it and that any emotions expended on this (non-existent) relationship are simply wasted.

Her boys (4th and 6th grade) are very smart=as are my kids. However, that is all they have (The nerd thing) and my kids are much more rounded (sports, friends, work etc). My mother has made this observation several times. The kids get along as well as cousins can and we try to keep our problems out of the kids' sight.

Over XMAS-5th Grade youngest Spock (The welder) wanted to have a Lego War with Chemical Weapons. They all love Lego's and that is their most common joint activity, by far. The answer from his cousins was "We want Peace and chemical weapons are against the Geneva Convention."

As a 5th Grade boy-How do you work with that? There is nowhere to take it. He is flabbergasted, because without the Lego war it gets pretty boring.

As far as the relationship with my sister goes, one concern is to keep the cousins' together some for our parents' sake, but realistically they are fast approaching the end of the play together years anyway, and things like this will only shorten the life span of those years.

[BackInTex]

There are important things your nephews did not learn.

1) Peace does not come without strength
2) the Geneva convention is meaningless to most of our current enemies
3) You don't always get what you want
4) If you are a wimp, you hardly ever get what you want

Welder boy could have had a good time teaching those things.

[a1mamacat]

Lego was with Chemical weapons? How very Christmasy.

Not everyone feels the need to express themselves with violence and domination. They'll do just fine, and your boy will too. If he is bored without violent play, that's a problem. Perhaps he needs more rounding. That said, they could have suggested an alternative lego game, perhaps creating something, rather than destroying.

[silverscreenselect]

There are important things your nephews did not learn.

1) Peace does not come without strength
2) the Geneva convention is meaningless to most of our current enemies
3) You don't always get what you want
4) If you are a wimp, you hardly ever get what you want

Welder boy could have had a good time teaching those things.

George W. Bush has a lot of free time these days. Maybe he could read My Pet Goat to Spock's nephews.

[BackInTex]

George W. Bush has a lot of free time these days. Maybe he could read My Pet Goat to Spock's nephews.

Or maybe Bill Clinton can teach them how real men behave.

[silverscreenselect]

George W. Bush has a lot of free time these days. Maybe he could read My Pet Goat to Spock's nephews.

Or maybe Bill Clinton can teach them how real men behave.

Or maybe Dick Cheney could give them some pointers on gun safety.

[Spock]

Lego was with Chemical weapons? How very Christmasy.

Not everyone feels the need to express themselves with violence and domination. They'll do just fine, and your boy will too. If he is bored without violent play, that's a problem. Perhaps he needs more rounding. That said, they could have suggested an alternative lego game, perhaps creating something, rather than destroying.

You seem well-versed on the subject. What are your views on Christina Hoff Sommers "The War Against Boys"?

http://www.amazon.com/War-Against-Boys- ... ar+on+boys

[a1mamacat]

Lego was with Chemical weapons? How very Christmasy.

Not everyone feels the need to express themselves with violence and domination. They'll do just fine, and your boy will too. If he is bored without violent play, that's a problem. Perhaps he needs more rounding. That said, they could have suggested an alternative lego game, perhaps creating something, rather than destroying.

You seem well-versed on the subject. What are your views on Christina Hoff Sommers "The War Against Boys"?

http://www.amazon.com/War-Against-Boys- ... ar+on+boys

Haven't read it, don't need to. I raised Big J. Big J was a challenging time. He did not fit into any mold/group/stereotype, and it was by trial and many errors that we realized that there was nothing wrong with his views, they were just different from ours. Your nephews viewpoints are just as valid as your son's, even if they are different.

I was suggesting that both sides in your scenario, could benefit from viewing the other's position with less righteousness.