Lyrically Speaking - 2/22/13

Message

TheMichiganBarAssociation · #1 Post by **TheMichiganBarAssociation** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 2:32 am

Hello prospective clients, this is the Michigan Bar Association here, and we hope you are having a wonderful Friday... though we take no responsibility if you are in fact not having a good Friday. LB was kind enough to sell us this Free For All Friday space to do a little advertising for our firm, which we hope will counterbalance all of the negative, libelous and downright mean and nasty things one of our former clients has said about us here. We hope you will enjoy today's advertisement, but before it begins, we must ask you to sign this liability waiver indemnifying us from any physical or emotional anguish you may experience during this post. We also please ask that you not have any other third parties play this game in your place, as that goes distinctly against the strict code of ethics we attorneys from the great state of Michigan value so highly.

Thank you for choosing the Michigan Bar Association! And remember, we don't get paid until you get scored!

1 point for the title, 1 point for the artist, and one third of your total points to the Michigan Bar Association...

1. Our client was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle when he called us for help, and with the aid of the crooked Cook County court system, we managed to win a hefty judgement of $20,000,000 for him against the defendant, known in our files as "Jealous Husband". As icing on the cake, we also took devoted wife Doris to the cleaners for an additional $5,000,000 in punitive damages just for looking nice. Even after our take, that'll buy a lot of fancy clothes and fix the oil leak on that custom Continental.

2. Divorce Court special! We successfully obtained half of all assets as well as a nice fat alimony settlement for our client after she caught her husband responding to her classified ad. The defendant may not have been thinking about his lady, but he should have thought about his lady's lawyers!

3. Our barristers obtained judgement for illegal trespassing and solicitation in the amount of £10.000.000 against an unspecified defendant who appeared in court dressed up like the British flag. That beats the measly five pounds defendant was offering to settle with our client, and only upon the specification that he used the same detergent he was shilling for.

4. We do malpractice cases as well! We obtained a $30,000,000 award for our client against her doctor for failing to treat her depression and broken heart. Thanks to this fool, now our client can afford to eat her dinner in a fancy restaurant... but perhaps our client ripping up a picture of the Surgeon General upon the judge rendering his verdict was overdoing it a tad.

5. To show that even The Michigan Bar Association can't win them all, we once had an epic lawsuit that took us several years and some of our best lawyers to successfully win. Despite running way too long, it was a beautiful case that won our client over $10,000,000. The appellate court however didn't think all the pieces fit, so they cut the judgement down to $3.05. Well, that's the legal business!

6. Damages! Damages! Damages! Damages! That's what we collected for our clients in a class action lawsuit against a defendant who went just a little wild with his towerin' and overpowerin' slaying, devouring and bombing. Claims by the defendant that his mother drove him to it were duly noted for future lawsuit reference. We're not calling it a comeback, the Michigan Bar Association has been here for years!

7. Living under a slumlord with unsafe conditions in your dwelling? We can take him for every penny he's worth, just like we did the owner of a 100 story building whose property wasn't up to current fire safety codes. Our clients got plenty of saaaaaaaaaatisfaction from their 5% of the settlement money, and we outfitted our entire staff with polyester leisure suits with our modest cut!

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.

9. Domestic violence is a crime we take very seriously at the Michigan Bar Association, just ask our female client who we won a $50,000,000 judgement for against her boyfriend. The defendant claims our client wanted him to be a brave man and a caveman, and that his barrage of verbal abuse was only to show he cared, but that didn't pass muster with the female jury we selected!

10. Are you the victim of a reckless, negligent driver? We sought out and won unspecified damages for our client, who claimed to be hit by a speeding vehicle occupied by the two lovebird defendants, who also appeared to be intoxicated. Even the Michigan Bar Association can wring out huge settlements from a checkout girl and an unemployed ne'er do well. When you live with the bottle, that's just the way it is, dear.

11. At the Michigan Bar Association, we certainly aren't afraid to take on the big corporations and their fancy attorneys! Representing our client and his girlfriend, we sued an automobile manufacturer for product negligence, in particular, for a seat belt that wouldn't unbuckle and left our one client unable to satisfy his lover. This led to trauma and distress in our clients' relationship, and shall we say, a nice big fat settlement as well.

12. From the ballroom to the courtroom, we helped our client seek stiff punitive damages against her waltzing partner. Claims that he repeatedly pulled her by the hair and by the ears were backed up by several witnesses, an orchestra leader and three celebrity judges. Thanks to the Michigan Bar association, now our client takes her baby by the checkbook.

13. As our client in #11 can tell you, voyeurism can leave lasting scars on its victims that just will not heal until proper monetary compensation is made. Take for example our client, who we'll call Norville. In the privacy of his own crib, his girlfriend videotaped him and a neighbor on the counter, on the sofa, and even in the shower. When the video from the bathroom floor was played before the courtroom, there wasn't a dry eye in the house, sealing an easy seven figure punitive judgement for Norv against the peeping tom defendant.

14. Our client needed money fast to pay her rent, so when some creep stole her brand new Chevrolet, she contacted the Michigan Bar Association. Springing into action, we hauled the thief into court and slapped him with a $10,000,000 lawsuit. Next up, the man who stole our client's heart and robbed her blind.

15. Child labor laws are in place for a reason, and thanks to groundbreaking work done by the Michigan Bar Association in the case Kids v. Parents, we have forever relieved children around the great state of Michigan from ever having to do chores again. So feel free to go ride with your hoodlum friends without bringing in the dog or putting out the cat!

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system.

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"?

kroxquo · #2 Post by **kroxquo** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 5:57 am

Spoiler

1 point for the title, 1 point for the artist, and one third of your total points to the Michigan Bar Association...

1. Our client was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle when he called us for help, and with the aid of the crooked Cook County court system, we managed to win a hefty judgement of $20,000,000 for him against the defendant, known in our files as "Jealous Husband". As icing on the cake, we also took devoted wife Doris to the cleaners for an additional $5,000,000 in punitive damages just for looking nice. Even after our take, that'll buy a lot of fancy clothes and fix the oil leak on that custom Continental.

Bad Bad Leroy Brown - Jim Croce

2. Divorce Court special! We successfully obtained half of all assets as well as a nice fat alimony settlement for our client after she caught her husband responding to her classified ad. The defendant may not have been thinking about his lady, but he should have thought about his lady's lawyers!

Escape (Pina Colada Song) - Rupert Holmes (I'm pretty sure that in real life this would not end with the two of them laughing together about the whole thing)

3. Our barristers obtained judgement for illegal trespassing and solicitation in the amount of £10.000.000 against an unspecified defendant who appeared in court dressed up like the British flag. That beats the measly five pounds defendant was offering to settle with our client, and only upon the specification that he used the same detergent he was shilling for.

Satisfaction? - Rolling Stones

4. We do malpractice cases as well! We obtained a $30,000,000 award for our client against her doctor for failing to treat her depression and broken heart. Thanks to this fool, now our client can afford to eat her dinner in a fancy restaurant... but perhaps our client ripping up a picture of the Surgeon General upon the judge rendering his verdict was overdoing it a tad.

5. To show that even The Michigan Bar Association can't win them all, we once had an epic lawsuit that took us several years and some of our best lawyers to successfully win. Despite running way too long, it was a beautiful case that won our client over $10,000,000. The appellate court however didn't think all the pieces fit, so they cut the judgement down to $3.05. Well, that's the legal business!

The Entertainer - Billy Joel

6. Damages! Damages! Damages! Damages! That's what we collected for our clients in a class action lawsuit against a defendant who went just a little wild with his towerin' and overpowerin' slaying, devouring and bombing. Claims by the defendant that his mother drove him to it were duly noted for future lawsuit reference. We're not calling it a comeback, the Michigan Bar Association has been here for years!

Bohemian Rhapsody? - Queen

7. Living under a slumlord with unsafe conditions in your dwelling? We can take him for every penny he's worth, just like we did the owner of a 100 story building whose property wasn't up to current fire safety codes. Our clients got plenty of saaaaaaaaaatisfaction from their 5% of the settlement money, and we outfitted our entire staff with polyester leisure suits with our modest cut!

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.

9. Domestic violence is a crime we take very seriously at the Michigan Bar Association, just ask our female client who we won a $50,000,000 judgement for against her boyfriend. The defendant claims our client wanted him to be a brave man and a caveman, and that his barrage of verbal abuse was only to show he cared, but that didn't pass muster with the female jury we selected!

Some horrible old song with a title like He Hit Me and it Felt Like a Kiss by someone like Brenda Lee but not

10. Are you the victim of a reckless, negligent driver? We sought out and won unspecified damages for our client, who claimed to be hit by a speeding vehicle occupied by the two lovebird defendants, who also appeared to be intoxicated. Even the Michigan Bar Association can wring out huge settlements from a checkout girl and an unemployed ne'er do well. When you live with the bottle, that's just the way it is, dear.

Life In the Fast Lane (?) - Eagles

11. At the Michigan Bar Association, we certainly aren't afraid to take on the big corporations and their fancy attorneys! Representing our client and his girlfriend, we sued an automobile manufacturer for product negligence, in particular, for a seat belt that wouldn't unbuckle and left our one client unable to satisfy his lover. This led to trauma and distress in our clients' relationship, and shall we say, a nice big fat settlement as well.

No Particular Place To Go - Chuck Berry

12. From the ballroom to the courtroom, we helped our client seek stiff punitive damages against her waltzing partner. Claims that he repeatedly pulled her by the hair and by the ears were backed up by several witnesses, an orchestra leader and three celebrity judges. Thanks to the Michigan Bar association, now our client takes her baby by the checkbook.

13. As our client in #11 can tell you, voyeurism can leave lasting scars on its victims that just will not heal until proper monetary compensation is made. Take for example our client, who we'll call Norville. In the privacy of his own crib, his girlfriend videotaped him and a neighbor on the counter, on the sofa, and even in the shower. When the video from the bathroom floor was played before the courtroom, there wasn't a dry eye in the house, sealing an easy seven figure punitive judgement for Norv against the peeping tom defendant.

14. Our client needed money fast to pay her rent, so when some creep stole her brand new Chevrolet, she contacted the Michigan Bar Association. Springing into action, we hauled the thief into court and slapped him with a $10,000,000 lawsuit. Next up, the man who stole our client's heart and robbed her blind.

Neutron Dance - Pointer Sisters

15. Child labor laws are in place for a reason, and thanks to groundbreaking work done by the Michigan Bar Association in the case Kids v. Parents, we have forever relieved children around the great state of Michigan from ever having to do chores again. So feel free to go ride with your hoodlum friends without bringing in the dog or putting out the cat!

Yaketey Yak - Coasters

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system.

We'll go for the obvious - Lawyers In Love - Jackson Browne

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"? WAG - Shylock

mrkelley23 · #3 Post by **mrkelley23** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 6:09 am

TheMichiganBarAssociation

Hello prospective clients, this is the Michigan Bar Association here, and we hope you are having a wonderful Friday... though we take no responsibility if you are in fact not having a good Friday. LB was kind enough to sell us this Free For All Friday space to do a little advertising for our firm, which we hope will counterbalance all of the negative, libelous and downright mean and nasty things one of our former clients has said about us here. We hope you will enjoy today's advertisement, but before it begins, we must ask you to sign this liability waiver indemnifying us from any physical or emotional anguish you may experience during this post. We also please ask that you not have any other third parties play this game in your place, as that goes distinctly against the strict code of ethics we attorneys from the great state of Michigan value so highly.

Thank you for choosing the Michigan Bar Association! And remember, we don't get paid until you get scored!

1 point for the title, 1 point for the artist, and one third of your total points to the Michigan Bar Association...

1. Our client was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle when he called us for help, and with the aid of the crooked Cook County court system, we managed to win a hefty judgement of $20,000,000 for him against the defendant, known in our files as "Jealous Husband". As icing on the cake, we also took devoted wife Doris to the cleaners for an additional $5,000,000 in punitive damages just for looking nice. Even after our take, that'll buy a lot of fancy clothes and fix the oil leak on that custom Continental.

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown

2. Divorce Court special! We successfully obtained half of all assets as well as a nice fat alimony settlement for our client after she caught her husband responding to her classified ad. The defendant may not have been thinking about his lady, but he should have thought about his lady's lawyers!

Escape (The Pina Colada Song) -- Rupert Holmes

3. Our barristers obtained judgement for illegal trespassing and solicitation in the amount of £10.000.000 against an unspecified defendant who appeared in court dressed up like the British flag. That beats the measly five pounds defendant was offering to settle with our client, and only upon the specification that he used the same detergent he was shilling for.

Get off my Cloud -- Rolling Stones

4. We do malpractice cases as well! We obtained a $30,000,000 award for our client against her doctor for failing to treat her depression and broken heart. Thanks to this fool, now our client can afford to eat her dinner in a fancy restaurant... but perhaps our client ripping up a picture of the Surgeon General upon the judge rendering his verdict was overdoing it a tad.

Nothing Compares 2 You -- Sinead O'Connor

5. To show that even The Michigan Bar Association can't win them all, we once had an epic lawsuit that took us several years and some of our best lawyers to successfully win. Despite running way too long, it was a beautiful case that won our client over $10,000,000. The appellate court however didn't think all the pieces fit, so they cut the judgement down to $3.05. Well, that's the legal business!

The Entertainer -- Billy Joel

6. Damages! Damages! Damages! Damages! That's what we collected for our clients in a class action lawsuit against a defendant who went just a little wild with his towerin' and overpowerin' slaying, devouring and bombing. Claims by the defendant that his mother drove him to it were duly noted for future lawsuit reference. We're not calling it a comeback, the Michigan Bar Association has been here for years!

Mama Said Knock you out -- LL Cool J

7. Living under a slumlord with unsafe conditions in your dwelling? We can take him for every penny he's worth, just like we did the owner of a 100 story building whose property wasn't up to current fire safety codes. Our clients got plenty of saaaaaaaaaatisfaction from their 5% of the settlement money, and we outfitted our entire staff with polyester leisure suits with our modest cut!

Disco Inferno -- The Trammps

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.

Douchebag Dillinger -- Never Nervous Melvin Purvis

9. Domestic violence is a crime we take very seriously at the Michigan Bar Association, just ask our female client who we won a $50,000,000 judgement for against her boyfriend. The defendant claims our client wanted him to be a brave man and a caveman, and that his barrage of verbal abuse was only to show he cared, but that didn't pass muster with the female jury we selected!

Johnny Get Angry -- Shelley Fabares

10. Are you the victim of a reckless, negligent driver? We sought out and won unspecified damages for our client, who claimed to be hit by a speeding vehicle occupied by the two lovebird defendants, who also appeared to be intoxicated. Even the Michigan Bar Association can wring out huge settlements from a checkout girl and an unemployed ne'er do well. When you live with the bottle, that's just the way it is, dear.

Fast Car -- Tracy Chapman

11. At the Michigan Bar Association, we certainly aren't afraid to take on the big corporations and their fancy attorneys! Representing our client and his girlfriend, we sued an automobile manufacturer for product negligence, in particular, for a seat belt that wouldn't unbuckle and left our one client unable to satisfy his lover. This led to trauma and distress in our clients' relationship, and shall we say, a nice big fat settlement as well.

No Particular Place to Go -- Chuck Berry

12. From the ballroom to the courtroom, we helped our client seek stiff punitive damages against her waltzing partner. Claims that he repeatedly pulled her by the hair and by the ears were backed up by several witnesses, an orchestra leader and three celebrity judges. Thanks to the Michigan Bar association, now our client takes her baby by the checkbook.

Dance Hall Days -- Wang Chung

13. As our client in #11 can tell you, voyeurism can leave lasting scars on its victims that just will not heal until proper monetary compensation is made. Take for example our client, who we'll call Norville. In the privacy of his own crib, his girlfriend videotaped him and a neighbor on the counter, on the sofa, and even in the shower. When the video from the bathroom floor was played before the courtroom, there wasn't a dry eye in the house, sealing an easy seven figure punitive judgement for Norv against the peeping tom defendant.

It Wasn't Me -- Shaggy

14. Our client needed money fast to pay her rent, so when some creep stole her brand new Chevrolet, she contacted the Michigan Bar Association. Springing into action, we hauled the thief into court and slapped him with a $10,000,000 lawsuit. Next up, the man who stole our client's heart and robbed her blind.

Neutron Dance -- Pointer Sisters

15. Child labor laws are in place for a reason, and thanks to groundbreaking work done by the Michigan Bar Association in the case Kids v. Parents, we have forever relieved children around the great state of Michigan from ever having to do chores again. So feel free to go ride with your hoodlum friends without bringing in the dog or putting out the cat!

Yakety Yak -- The Coasters

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system. Runaround Sue -- Dion and the Belmonts. Ba-dum, bum.

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"?

That's Dick, man. Now, whether he was spotted or not, I dunno.

#4 Post by **Vandal** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 6:52 am

Spoiler

Great idea, LB. Wish I could get more of them.

1. Bad Bad Leroy Brown - Jim Croce
2. Escape - Rupert Holmes
4. Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O'Connor
7. Disco Inferno - The Trammps (or is it The Trampps, The Trramps, The Ttramps)
8. Little Red Riding Hood - Sam the Sham/Pharoahs

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system.
Undun - The Guess Who (or maybe it's too late for the lawyers)

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"?
It's from Henry VI, but I don't know the character

smilergrogan · #5 Post by **smilergrogan** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 7:31 am

Spoiler

TheMichiganBarAssociation wrote:Hello prospective clients, this is the Michigan Bar Association here, and we hope you are having a wonderful Friday... though we take no responsibility if you are in fact not having a good Friday. LB was kind enough to sell us this Free For All Friday space to do a little advertising for our firm, which we hope will counterbalance all of the negative, libelous and downright mean and nasty things one of our former clients has said about us here. We hope you will enjoy today's advertisement, but before it begins, we must ask you to sign this liability waiver indemnifying us from any physical or emotional anguish you may experience during this post. We also please ask that you not have any other third parties play this game in your place, as that goes distinctly against the strict code of ethics we attorneys from the great state of Michigan value so highly.

Thank you for choosing the Michigan Bar Association! And remember, we don't get paid until you get scored!

1 point for the title, 1 point for the artist, and one third of your total points to the Michigan Bar Association...

1. Our client was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle when he called us for help, and with the aid of the crooked Cook County court system, we managed to win a hefty judgement of $20,000,000 for him against the defendant, known in our files as "Jealous Husband". As icing on the cake, we also took devoted wife Doris to the cleaners for an additional $5,000,000 in punitive damages just for looking nice. Even after our take, that'll buy a lot of fancy clothes and fix the oil leak on that custom Continental.
BAD BAD LEROY BROWN, Jim Croce

2. Divorce Court special! We successfully obtained half of all assets as well as a nice fat alimony settlement for our client after she caught her husband responding to her classified ad. The defendant may not have been thinking about his lady, but he should have thought about his lady's lawyers!
D-I-V-O-R-C-E?, Patsy Cline?

3. Our barristers obtained judgement for illegal trespassing and solicitation in the amount of £10.000.000 against an unspecified defendant who appeared in court dressed up like the British flag. That beats the measly five pounds defendant was offering to settle with our client, and only upon the specification that he used the same detergent he was shilling for.
GET OFF OF MY CLOUD, The Rolling Stones

4. We do malpractice cases as well! We obtained a $30,000,000 award for our client against her doctor for failing to treat her depression and broken heart. Thanks to this fool, now our client can afford to eat her dinner in a fancy restaurant... but perhaps our client ripping up a picture of the Surgeon General upon the judge rendering his verdict was overdoing it a tad.
Sinead O'Connor?

5. To show that even The Michigan Bar Association can't win them all, we once had an epic lawsuit that took us several years and some of our best lawyers to successfully win. Despite running way too long, it was a beautiful case that won our client over $10,000,000. The appellate court however didn't think all the pieces fit, so they cut the judgement down to $3.05. Well, that's the legal business!

6. Damages! Damages! Damages! Damages! That's what we collected for our clients in a class action lawsuit against a defendant who went just a little wild with his towerin' and overpowerin' slaying, devouring and bombing. Claims by the defendant that his mother drove him to it were duly noted for future lawsuit reference. We're not calling it a comeback, the Michigan Bar Association has been here for years!

7. Living under a slumlord with unsafe conditions in your dwelling? We can take him for every penny he's worth, just like we did the owner of a 100 story building whose property wasn't up to current fire safety codes. Our clients got plenty of saaaaaaaaaatisfaction from their 5% of the settlement money, and we outfitted our entire staff with polyester leisure suits with our modest cut!
WHIP IT?, Devo

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.

9. Domestic violence is a crime we take very seriously at the Michigan Bar Association, just ask our female client who we won a $50,000,000 judgement for against her boyfriend. The defendant claims our client wanted him to be a brave man and a caveman, and that his barrage of verbal abuse was only to show he cared, but that didn't pass muster with the female jury we selected!

10. Are you the victim of a reckless, negligent driver? We sought out and won unspecified damages for our client, who claimed to be hit by a speeding vehicle occupied by the two lovebird defendants, who also appeared to be intoxicated. Even the Michigan Bar Association can wring out huge settlements from a checkout girl and an unemployed ne'er do well. When you live with the bottle, that's just the way it is, dear.
DEADMAN'S CURVE?

11. At the Michigan Bar Association, we certainly aren't afraid to take on the big corporations and their fancy attorneys! Representing our client and his girlfriend, we sued an automobile manufacturer for product negligence, in particular, for a seat belt that wouldn't unbuckle and left our one client unable to satisfy his lover. This led to trauma and distress in our clients' relationship, and shall we say, a nice big fat settlement as well.

12. From the ballroom to the courtroom, we helped our client seek stiff punitive damages against her waltzing partner. Claims that he repeatedly pulled her by the hair and by the ears were backed up by several witnesses, an orchestra leader and three celebrity judges. Thanks to the Michigan Bar association, now our client takes her baby by the checkbook.

13. As our client in #11 can tell you, voyeurism can leave lasting scars on its victims that just will not heal until proper monetary compensation is made. Take for example our client, who we'll call Norville. In the privacy of his own crib, his girlfriend videotaped him and a neighbor on the counter, on the sofa, and even in the shower. When the video from the bathroom floor was played before the courtroom, there wasn't a dry eye in the house, sealing an easy seven figure punitive judgement for Norv against the peeping tom defendant.

14. Our client needed money fast to pay her rent, so when some creep stole her brand new Chevrolet, she contacted the Michigan Bar Association. Springing into action, we hauled the thief into court and slapped him with a $10,000,000 lawsuit. Next up, the man who stole our client's heart and robbed her blind.

15. Child labor laws are in place for a reason, and thanks to groundbreaking work done by the Michigan Bar Association in the case Kids v. Parents, we have forever relieved children around the great state of Michigan from ever having to do chores again. So feel free to go ride with your hoodlum friends without bringing in the dog or putting out the cat!

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system.
I FOUGHT THE LAW BUT THE LAW WON

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"?
Rosencrantz?

MarleysGh0st · #6 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:27 am

Spoiler

1. Our client was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle when he called us for help, and with the aid of the crooked Cook County court system, we managed to win a hefty judgement of $20,000,000 for him against the defendant, known in our files as "Jealous Husband". As icing on the cake, we also took devoted wife Doris to the cleaners for an additional $5,000,000 in punitive damages just for looking nice. Even after our take, that'll buy a lot of fancy clothes and fix the oil leak on that custom Continental.

Leroy Brown

2. Divorce Court special! We successfully obtained half of all assets as well as a nice fat alimony settlement for our client after she caught her husband responding to her classified ad. The defendant may not have been thinking about his lady, but he should have thought about his lady's lawyers!

Pina Coladas

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"?

It was one of the minor, comic-relief characters in Henry IV, IIRC. Bill the Butcher, or something like that?

Beast's_Attorney · #7 Post by **Beast's_Attorney** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:33 am

I'll collect a consulting fee from the guest host as well as my usual hourly fee!!

Hello prospective clients, this is the Michigan Bar Association here, and we hope you are having a wonderful Friday... though we take no responsibility if you are in fact not having a good Friday. LB was kind enough to sell us this Free For All Friday space to do a little advertising for our firm, which we hope will counterbalance all of the negative, libelous and downright mean and nasty things one of our former clients has said about us here. We hope you will enjoy today's advertisement, but before it begins, we must ask you to sign this liability waiver indemnifying us from any physical or emotional anguish you may experience during this post. We also please ask that you not have any other third parties play this game in your place, as that goes distinctly against the strict code of ethics we attorneys from the great state of Michigan value so highly.

Thank you for choosing the Michigan Bar Association! And remember, we don't get paid until you get scored!

1 point for the title, 1 point for the artist, and one third of your total points to the Michigan Bar Association...

1. Our client was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle when he called us for help, and with the aid of the crooked Cook County court system, we managed to win a hefty judgement of $20,000,000 for him against the defendant, known in our files as "Jealous Husband". As icing on the cake, we also took devoted wife Doris to the cleaners for an additional $5,000,000 in punitive damages just for looking nice. Even after our take, that'll buy a lot of fancy clothes and fix the oil leak on that custom Continental.

Bad Bad Leroy Brown, Jim Croce

2. Divorce Court special! We successfully obtained half of all assets as well as a nice fat alimony settlement for our client after she caught her husband responding to her classified ad. The defendant may not have been thinking about his lady, but he should have thought about his lady's lawyers!

Escape/Pina Colada Song, Rupert....Holmes?

3. Our barristers obtained judgement for illegal trespassing and solicitation in the amount of £10.000.000 against an unspecified defendant who appeared in court dressed up like the British flag. That beats the measly five pounds defendant was offering to settle with our client, and only upon the specification that he used the same detergent he was shilling for.

A Rolling Stones song

4. We do malpractice cases as well! We obtained a $30,000,000 award for our client against her doctor for failing to treat her depression and broken heart. Thanks to this fool, now our client can afford to eat her dinner in a fancy restaurant... but perhaps our client ripping up a picture of the Surgeon General upon the judge rendering his verdict was overdoing it a tad.

Nothing Compares To You, you want Sinead O'Conner and not Prince here...

5. To show that even The Michigan Bar Association can't win them all, we once had an epic lawsuit that took us several years and some of our best lawyers to successfully win. Despite running way too long, it was a beautiful case that won our client over $10,000,000. The appellate court however didn't think all the pieces fit, so they cut the judgement down to $3.05. Well, that's the legal business!

The Entertainer, Billy Joel (clever!)

6. Damages! Damages! Damages! Damages! That's what we collected for our clients in a class action lawsuit against a defendant who went just a little wild with his towerin' and overpowerin' slaying, devouring and bombing. Claims by the defendant that his mother drove him to it were duly noted for future lawsuit reference. We're not calling it a comeback, the Michigan Bar Association has been here for years!

Mama Said Knock You Out, LL Cool J (also clever!)

7. Living under a slumlord with unsafe conditions in your dwelling? We can take him for every penny he's worth, just like we did the owner of a 100 story building whose property wasn't up to current fire safety codes. Our clients got plenty of saaaaaaaaaatisfaction from their 5% of the settlement money, and we outfitted our entire staff with polyester leisure suits with our modest cut!

Disco Inferno, Trammmmmmps (Hi, Ronnnn!)

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.

Can't place it

9. Domestic violence is a crime we take very seriously at the Michigan Bar Association, just ask our female client who we won a $50,000,000 judgement for against her boyfriend. The defendant claims our client wanted him to be a brave man and a caveman, and that his barrage of verbal abuse was only to show he cared, but that didn't pass muster with the female jury we selected!

It's not A Kiss With a Fist by Florence Welch but similar idea

10. Are you the victim of a reckless, negligent driver? We sought out and won unspecified damages for our client, who claimed to be hit by a speeding vehicle occupied by the two lovebird defendants, who also appeared to be intoxicated. Even the Michigan Bar Association can wring out huge settlements from a checkout girl and an unemployed ne'er do well. When you live with the bottle, that's just the way it is, dear.

Fast Car, Tracy Chapman

11. At the Michigan Bar Association, we certainly aren't afraid to take on the big corporations and their fancy attorneys! Representing our client and his girlfriend, we sued an automobile manufacturer for product negligence, in particular, for a seat belt that wouldn't unbuckle and left our one client unable to satisfy his lover. This led to trauma and distress in our clients' relationship, and shall we say, a nice big fat settlement as well.

That driving along in my automobile song by Chuck Berry

12. From the ballroom to the courtroom, we helped our client seek stiff punitive damages against her waltzing partner. Claims that he repeatedly pulled her by the hair and by the ears were backed up by several witnesses, an orchestra leader and three celebrity judges. Thanks to the Michigan Bar association, now our client takes her baby by the checkbook.

Dance Hall Days, Wang Chung

13. As our client in #11 can tell you, voyeurism can leave lasting scars on its victims that just will not heal until proper monetary compensation is made. Take for example our client, who we'll call Norville. In the privacy of his own crib, his girlfriend videotaped him and a neighbor on the counter, on the sofa, and even in the shower. When the video from the bathroom floor was played before the courtroom, there wasn't a dry eye in the house, sealing an easy seven figure punitive judgement for Norv against the peeping tom defendant.

The only Norville I can think of is Shaggy...

14. Our client needed money fast to pay her rent, so when some creep stole her brand new Chevrolet, she contacted the Michigan Bar Association. Springing into action, we hauled the thief into court and slapped him with a $10,000,000 lawsuit. Next up, the man who stole our client's heart and robbed her blind.

Familiarish

15. Child labor laws are in place for a reason, and thanks to groundbreaking work done by the Michigan Bar Association in the case Kids v. Parents, we have forever relieved children around the great state of Michigan from ever having to do chores again. So feel free to go ride with your hoodlum friends without bringing in the dog or putting out the cat!

Yakety Yak? Some group

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system.

Going all obvious with Lawyers, Guns and Money by Warren Zevon

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"?

A butcher. Not named Sam. Can't remember.

ShamelessWeasel · #8 Post by **ShamelessWeasel** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 9:18 am

Spoiler

1. Bad Bad Leroy brown - Jim Croce
2. nope
3. nope
4. Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O'Connor
5. nope
6. Something by LL Cool J
7. nope
8. nope
9. nope
10. Fast Car - Tracy Chapman
11. nope
12. nope
13. nope
14. nope
15. Yakety Yak - Coasters

Kroxquo Bonus: Gimme 3 steps - Lynyrd Skynyrd (Open and shut case Dacing with a girl at the jug and some nimnul with a gun threatens him)

5 Point Bonus: nope

franktangredi · #9 Post by **franktangredi** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 10:22 am

This one was so clever!

Spoiler

1. Bad Bad Leroy Brown/Jim Croce
2. Escape (The Pina Colada Song)/Rupert Holmes
3. Get Off of My Cloud/The Rolling Stones
4. Nothing Compares 2U/Sinead O’Connor
7. Disco Inferno/The Trammps
8. Don’t Pay the Ferryman/Chris DeBurgh
10. Fast Car/Tracy Chapman
11. No Particular Place to Go/Chuck Berry
12. Dance Hall Days/Wang Chung
15. Yakkity Yak/The Coasters

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system.

Mother-in-Law/Ernie K. Doe

The legal connection is actually through Phyllis Diller’s cover version, which was inspired by the following incident:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituar ... iller.html

” Her jokes about a mother-in-law called Moby Dick and a sister-in-law called Captain Bligh led to litigation shortly after her first divorce in 1966, when Phyllis Diller was sued by her ex-husband’s mother and sister for defamation. She insisted that she was talking about a “fictitious family”, and not them, eventually settling out of court.”

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"?

Richard III

elwoodblues · #10 Post by **elwoodblues** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:31 pm

Spoiler

1. Our client was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle when he called us for help, and with the aid of the crooked Cook County court system, we managed to win a hefty judgement of $20,000,000 for him against the defendant, known in our files as "Jealous Husband". As icing on the cake, we also took devoted wife Doris to the cleaners for an additional $5,000,000 in punitive damages just for looking nice. Even after our take, that'll buy a lot of fancy clothes and fix the oil leak on that custom Continental.

Bad Bad Leroy Brown - Jim Croce

2. Divorce Court special! We successfully obtained half of all assets as well as a nice fat alimony settlement for our client after she caught her husband responding to her classified ad. The defendant may not have been thinking about his lady, but he should have thought about his lady's lawyers!

Escape - Rupert Holmes

3. Our barristers obtained judgement for illegal trespassing and solicitation in the amount of £10.000.000 against an unspecified defendant who appeared in court dressed up like the British flag. That beats the measly five pounds defendant was offering to settle with our client, and only upon the specification that he used the same detergent he was shilling for.

Get Off My Cloud - Rolling Stones

4. We do malpractice cases as well! We obtained a $30,000,000 award for our client against her doctor for failing to treat her depression and broken heart. Thanks to this fool, now our client can afford to eat her dinner in a fancy restaurant... but perhaps our client ripping up a picture of the Surgeon General upon the judge rendering his verdict was overdoing it a tad.

5. To show that even The Michigan Bar Association can't win them all, we once had an epic lawsuit that took us several years and some of our best lawyers to successfully win. Despite running way too long, it was a beautiful case that won our client over $10,000,000. The appellate court however didn't think all the pieces fit, so they cut the judgement down to $3.05. Well, that's the legal business!

The Entertainer - Billy Joel

6. Damages! Damages! Damages! Damages! That's what we collected for our clients in a class action lawsuit against a defendant who went just a little wild with his towerin' and overpowerin' slaying, devouring and bombing. Claims by the defendant that his mother drove him to it were duly noted for future lawsuit reference. We're not calling it a comeback, the Michigan Bar Association has been here for years!

7. Living under a slumlord with unsafe conditions in your dwelling? We can take him for every penny he's worth, just like we did the owner of a 100 story building whose property wasn't up to current fire safety codes. Our clients got plenty of saaaaaaaaaatisfaction from their 5% of the settlement money, and we outfitted our entire staff with polyester leisure suits with our modest cut!

Disco Inferno

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.

9. Domestic violence is a crime we take very seriously at the Michigan Bar Association, just ask our female client who we won a $50,000,000 judgement for against her boyfriend. The defendant claims our client wanted him to be a brave man and a caveman, and that his barrage of verbal abuse was only to show he cared, but that didn't pass muster with the female jury we selected!

10. Are you the victim of a reckless, negligent driver? We sought out and won unspecified damages for our client, who claimed to be hit by a speeding vehicle occupied by the two lovebird defendants, who also appeared to be intoxicated. Even the Michigan Bar Association can wring out huge settlements from a checkout girl and an unemployed ne'er do well. When you live with the bottle, that's just the way it is, dear.

11. At the Michigan Bar Association, we certainly aren't afraid to take on the big corporations and their fancy attorneys! Representing our client and his girlfriend, we sued an automobile manufacturer for product negligence, in particular, for a seat belt that wouldn't unbuckle and left our one client unable to satisfy his lover. This led to trauma and distress in our clients' relationship, and shall we say, a nice big fat settlement as well.

No Particular Place To Go - Chuck Berry

12. From the ballroom to the courtroom, we helped our client seek stiff punitive damages against her waltzing partner. Claims that he repeatedly pulled her by the hair and by the ears were backed up by several witnesses, an orchestra leader and three celebrity judges. Thanks to the Michigan Bar association, now our client takes her baby by the checkbook.

13. As our client in #11 can tell you, voyeurism can leave lasting scars on its victims that just will not heal until proper monetary compensation is made. Take for example our client, who we'll call Norville. In the privacy of his own crib, his girlfriend videotaped him and a neighbor on the counter, on the sofa, and even in the shower. When the video from the bathroom floor was played before the courtroom, there wasn't a dry eye in the house, sealing an easy seven figure punitive judgement for Norv against the peeping tom defendant.

14. Our client needed money fast to pay her rent, so when some creep stole her brand new Chevrolet, she contacted the Michigan Bar Association. Springing into action, we hauled the thief into court and slapped him with a $10,000,000 lawsuit. Next up, the man who stole our client's heart and robbed her blind.

15. Child labor laws are in place for a reason, and thanks to groundbreaking work done by the Michigan Bar Association in the case Kids v. Parents, we have forever relieved children around the great state of Michigan from ever having to do chores again. So feel free to go ride with your hoodlum friends without bringing in the dog or putting out the cat!

Yakkity Yak

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system.

Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
A man seeks a defense attorney after confessing a murder to his mother and being taken into custody by people who use a lot of strange words. Galileo is called as a witness.

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"?

I have seen the quote many times but never knew which character it was. I'll guess Macbeth.

mikehardware · #11 Post by **mikehardware** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 6:36 pm

Spoiler

Hello prospective clients, this is the Michigan Bar Association here, and we hope you are having a wonderful Friday... though we take no responsibility if you are in fact not having a good Friday. LB was kind enough to sell us this Free For All Friday space to do a little advertising for our firm, which we hope will counterbalance all of the negative, libelous and downright mean and nasty things one of our former clients has said about us here. We hope you will enjoy today's advertisement, but before it begins, we must ask you to sign this liability waiver indemnifying us from any physical or emotional anguish you may experience during this post. We also please ask that you not have any other third parties play this game in your place, as that goes distinctly against the strict code of ethics we attorneys from the great state of Michigan value so highly.

Thank you for choosing the Michigan Bar Association! And remember, we don't get paid until you get scored!

1 point for the title, 1 point for the artist, and one third of your total points to the Michigan Bar Association...

1. Our client was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle when he called us for help, and with the aid of the crooked Cook County court system, we managed to win a hefty judgement of $20,000,000 for him against the defendant, known in our files as "Jealous Husband". As icing on the cake, we also took devoted wife Doris to the cleaners for an additional $5,000,000 in punitive damages just for looking nice. Even after our take, that'll buy a lot of fancy clothes and fix the oil leak on that custom Continental.

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown - Jim Croce

2. Divorce Court special! We successfully obtained half of all assets as well as a nice fat alimony settlement for our client after she caught her husband responding to her classified ad. The defendant may not have been thinking about his lady, but he should have thought about his lady's lawyers!

Escape - Some guy I'd like to smack upside the head for singing such an annoying song

3. Our barristers obtained judgement for illegal trespassing and solicitation in the amount of £10.000.000 against an unspecified defendant who appeared in court dressed up like the British flag. That beats the measly five pounds defendant was offering to settle with our client, and only upon the specification that he used the same detergent he was shilling for.

Satisfaction - Rolling Stones

4. We do malpractice cases as well! We obtained a $30,000,000 award for our client against her doctor for failing to treat her depression and broken heart. Thanks to this fool, now our client can afford to eat her dinner in a fancy restaurant... but perhaps our client ripping up a picture of the Surgeon General upon the judge rendering his verdict was overdoing it a tad.

5. To show that even The Michigan Bar Association can't win them all, we once had an epic lawsuit that took us several years and some of our best lawyers to successfully win. Despite running way too long, it was a beautiful case that won our client over $10,000,000. The appellate court however didn't think all the pieces fit, so they cut the judgement down to $3.05. Well, that's the legal business!

The Entertainer - Billy Joel

6. Damages! Damages! Damages! Damages! That's what we collected for our clients in a class action lawsuit against a defendant who went just a little wild with his towerin' and overpowerin' slaying, devouring and bombing. Claims by the defendant that his mother drove him to it were duly noted for future lawsuit reference. We're not calling it a comeback, the Michigan Bar Association has been here for years!

7. Living under a slumlord with unsafe conditions in your dwelling? We can take him for every penny he's worth, just like we did the owner of a 100 story building whose property wasn't up to current fire safety codes. Our clients got plenty of saaaaaaaaaatisfaction from their 5% of the settlement money, and we outfitted our entire staff with polyester leisure suits with our modest cut!

Burning Down the House - Talking Heads

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.

9. Domestic violence is a crime we take very seriously at the Michigan Bar Association, just ask our female client who we won a $50,000,000 judgement for against her boyfriend. The defendant claims our client wanted him to be a brave man and a caveman, and that his barrage of verbal abuse was only to show he cared, but that didn't pass muster with the female jury we selected!

Early 1960s stuff

10. Are you the victim of a reckless, negligent driver? We sought out and won unspecified damages for our client, who claimed to be hit by a speeding vehicle occupied by the two lovebird defendants, who also appeared to be intoxicated. Even the Michigan Bar Association can wring out huge settlements from a checkout girl and an unemployed ne'er do well. When you live with the bottle, that's just the way it is, dear.

11. At the Michigan Bar Association, we certainly aren't afraid to take on the big corporations and their fancy attorneys! Representing our client and his girlfriend, we sued an automobile manufacturer for product negligence, in particular, for a seat belt that wouldn't unbuckle and left our one client unable to satisfy his lover. This led to trauma and distress in our clients' relationship, and shall we say, a nice big fat settlement as well.

No Particular Place to Go - Chuck Berry

12. From the ballroom to the courtroom, we helped our client seek stiff punitive damages against her waltzing partner. Claims that he repeatedly pulled her by the hair and by the ears were backed up by several witnesses, an orchestra leader and three celebrity judges. Thanks to the Michigan Bar association, now our client takes her baby by the checkbook.

Masochism Tango - Tom Lehrer

13. As our client in #11 can tell you, voyeurism can leave lasting scars on its victims that just will not heal until proper monetary compensation is made. Take for example our client, who we'll call Norville. In the privacy of his own crib, his girlfriend videotaped him and a neighbor on the counter, on the sofa, and even in the shower. When the video from the bathroom floor was played before the courtroom, there wasn't a dry eye in the house, sealing an easy seven figure punitive judgement for Norv against the peeping tom defendant.

14. Our client needed money fast to pay her rent, so when some creep stole her brand new Chevrolet, she contacted the Michigan Bar Association. Springing into action, we hauled the thief into court and slapped him with a $10,000,000 lawsuit. Next up, the man who stole our client's heart and robbed her blind.

15. Child labor laws are in place for a reason, and thanks to groundbreaking work done by the Michigan Bar Association in the case Kids v. Parents, we have forever relieved children around the great state of Michigan from ever having to do chores again. So feel free to go ride with your hoodlum friends without bringing in the dog or putting out the cat!

Yakity Yak - Coasters

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system.

Lawyers, Guns and Money- Warren Zevon

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"?

etaoin22 · #12 Post by **etaoin22** » Sat Feb 23, 2013 12:47 am

Spoiler

1. Our client was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle when he called us for help, and with the aid of the crooked Cook County court system, we managed to win a hefty judgement of $20,000,000 for him against the defendant, known in our files as "Jealous Husband". As icing on the cake, we also took devoted wife Doris to the cleaners for an additional $5,000,000 in punitive damages just for looking nice. Even after our take, that'll buy a lot of fancy clothes and fix the oil leak on that custom Continental.

BAD BAD LEROY BROWN - JIM CROCE. although pretty close in theme to BIG BOY PETE done by many artists including the RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS

2. Divorce Court special! We successfully obtained half of all assets as well as a nice fat alimony settlement for our client after she caught her husband responding to her classified ad. The defendant may not have been thinking about his lady, but he should have thought about his lady's lawyers!

AAAAUUUGGH! ESCAPE - RUPERT HOLMES. Fittingly, to use a BAM favorite adverb, the song which was the final #1 of the 1970's in the Billboard Hot 100.

3. Our barristers obtained judgement for illegal trespassing and solicitation in the amount of £10.000.000 against an unspecified defendant who appeared in court dressed up like the British flag. That beats the measly five pounds defendant was offering to settle with our client, and only upon the specification that he used the same detergent he was shilling for.

GET OFF OF MY CLOUD - ROLLING STONES

4. We do malpractice cases as well! We obtained a $30,000,000 award for our client against her doctor for failing to treat her depression and broken heart. Thanks to this fool, now our client can afford to eat her dinner in a fancy restaurant... but perhaps our client ripping up a picture of the Surgeon General upon the judge rendering his verdict was overdoing it a tad.

GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME - PETER SELLERS AND SOPHIA LOREN. I hope I can find it on YouTube, cuz it has to be better than the one you selected

5. To show that even The Michigan Bar Association can't win them all, we once had an epic lawsuit that took us several years and some of our best lawyers to successfully win. Despite running way too long, it was a beautiful case that won our client over $10,000,000. The appellate court however didn't think all the pieces fit, so they cut the judgement down to $3.05. Well, that's the legal business!

MACARTHUR PARK - RICHARD HARRIS

6. Damages! Damages! Damages! Damages! That's what we collected for our clients in a class action lawsuit against a defendant who went just a little wild with his towerin' and overpowerin' slaying, devouring and bombing. Claims by the defendant that his mother drove him to it were duly noted for future lawsuit reference. We're not calling it a comeback, the Michigan Bar Association has been here for years!

GO GO GODZILLA --

7. Living under a slumlord with unsafe conditions in your dwelling? We can take him for every penny he's worth, just like we did the owner of a 100 story building whose property wasn't up to current fire safety codes. Our clients got plenty of saaaaaaaaaatisfaction from their 5% of the settlement money, and we outfitted our entire staff with polyester leisure suits with our modest cut!

GET OFF OF MY CLOUD AGAIN - THE ROLLING STONES>

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD _ SAM THE SHAM AND THE PHARAOHS

9. Domestic violence is a crime we take very seriously at the Michigan Bar Association, just ask our female client who we won a $50,000,000 judgement for against her boyfriend. The defendant claims our client wanted him to be a brave man and a caveman, and that his barrage of verbal abuse was only to show he cared, but that didn't pass muster with the female jury we selected!

JOHNNY GET ANGRY - SHELLY FABARES IIRC. This song embarrassed me to have the real life name "John" in 1962, but not quite as much as that one about the guy down the mine.

10. Are you the victim of a reckless, negligent driver? We sought out and won unspecified damages for our client, who claimed to be hit by a speeding vehicle occupied by the two lovebird defendants, who also appeared to be intoxicated. Even the Michigan Bar Association can wring out huge settlements from a checkout girl and an unemployed ne'er do well. When you live with the bottle, that's just the way it is, dear.

FAST CAR - TRACY CHAPMAN

11. At the Michigan Bar Association, we certainly aren't afraid to take on the big corporations and their fancy attorneys! Representing our client and his girlfriend, we sued an automobile manufacturer for product negligence, in particular, for a seat belt that wouldn't unbuckle and left our one client unable to satisfy his lover. This led to trauma and distress in our clients' relationship, and shall we say, a nice big fat settlement as well.

WITH NO PARTICULAR PLACE TO GO - CHUCK BERRY

12. From the ballroom to the courtroom, we helped our client seek stiff punitive damages against her waltzing partner. Claims that he repeatedly pulled her by the hair and by the ears were backed up by several witnesses, an orchestra leader and three celebrity judges. Thanks to the Michigan Bar association, now our client takes her baby by the checkbook.

THE WHITE HOUSE DOG WALTZ BY HER. (in the era of LBJ)

13. As our client in #11 can tell you, voyeurism can leave lasting scars on its victims that just will not heal until proper monetary compensation is made. Take for example our client, who we'll call Norville. In the privacy of his own crib, his girlfriend videotaped him and a neighbor on the counter, on the sofa, and even in the shower. When the video from the bathroom floor was played before the courtroom, there wasn't a dry eye in the house, sealing an easy seven figure punitive judgement for Norv against the peeping tom defendant.

14. Our client needed money fast to pay her rent, so when some creep stole her brand new Chevrolet, she contacted the Michigan Bar Association. Springing into action, we hauled the thief into court and slapped him with a $10,000,000 lawsuit. Next up, the man who stole our client's heart and robbed her blind.

SEE THE USA IN YOUR CHEVROLET. AMERICA IS ASKING YOU TO CALL. - THE CHARLES FOX SINGERS

15. Child labor laws are in place for a reason, and thanks to groundbreaking work done by the Michigan Bar Association in the case Kids v. Parents, we have forever relieved children around the great state of Michigan from ever having to do chores again. So feel free to go ride with your hoodlum friends without bringing in the dog or putting out the cat!

CHARLIE BROWN - COASTERS

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system.

RUM AND COCA -COLA ANDREWS SISTERS. Not only is this positive view of Americans seeking out half-naked juvenile street prostitutes in a foreign country full of all sorts of possible criminal and civil actions, the song was the subject in real life of a legendary plagiarism trial. (see: Louis Nizer: My Life In Court)

BIG BAD JOHN - JIMMY DEAN. What a great opportunity for a trial on workplace employer negligence.

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"? Dick. The lawyers responded by saying they would kill all the DIcks.

T_Bone0806 · #13 Post by **T_Bone0806** » Sat Feb 23, 2013 3:18 pm

Spoiler

Thank you for choosing the Michigan Bar Association! And remember, we don't get paid until you get scored!

I believe that constitutes illegal solicitation, pimp daddies!

1 point for the title, 1 point for the artist, and one third of your total points to the Michigan Bar Association...

1. Our client was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle when he called us for help, and with the aid of the crooked Cook County court system, we managed to win a hefty judgement of $20,000,000 for him against the defendant, known in our files as "Jealous Husband". As icing on the cake, we also took devoted wife Doris to the cleaners for an additional $5,000,000 in punitive damages just for looking nice. Even after our take, that'll buy a lot of fancy clothes and fix the oil leak on that custom Continental.

Bad Bad Leroy Brown-Jim Croce

2. Divorce Court special! We successfully obtained half of all assets as well as a nice fat alimony settlement for our client after she caught her husband responding to her classified ad. The defendant may not have been thinking about his lady, but he should have thought about his lady's lawyers!

Escape (The Pina Colada Song)-Rupert Holmes

3. Our barristers obtained judgement for illegal trespassing and solicitation in the amount of £10.000.000 against an unspecified defendant who appeared in court dressed up like the British flag. That beats the measly five pounds defendant was offering to settle with our client, and only upon the specification that he used the same detergent he was shilling for.

Get Off My Cloud-Rolling Stones

4. We do malpractice cases as well! We obtained a $30,000,000 award for our client against her doctor for failing to treat her depression and broken heart. Thanks to this fool, now our client can afford to eat her dinner in a fancy restaurant... but perhaps our client ripping up a picture of the Surgeon General upon the judge rendering his verdict was overdoing it a tad.

Nothing Compares 2 U-Sinead O'Connor

5. To show that even The Michigan Bar Association can't win them all, we once had an epic lawsuit that took us several years and some of our best lawyers to successfully win. Despite running way too long, it was a beautiful case that won our client over $10,000,000. The appellate court however didn't think all the pieces fit, so they cut the judgement down to $3.05. Well, that's the legal business!

The Entertainer-Billy Joel

6. Damages! Damages! Damages! Damages! That's what we collected for our clients in a class action lawsuit against a defendant who went just a little wild with his towerin' and overpowerin' slaying, devouring and bombing. Claims by the defendant that his mother drove him to it were duly noted for future lawsuit reference. We're not calling it a comeback, the Michigan Bar Association has been here for years!

This is by some rapper dude, but I doubt it comes as any surprise that I don't know which one. Taking a guess based on the clue, I'll say Mama Said Knock You Out-LL Cool J

7. Living under a slumlord with unsafe conditions in your dwelling? We can take him for every penny he's worth, just like we did the owner of a 100 story building whose property wasn't up to current fire safety codes. Our clients got plenty of saaaaaaaaaatisfaction from their 5% of the settlement money, and we outfitted our entire staff with polyester leisure suits with our modest cut!

Disco Inferno-Trammps

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.

That's No Lady, That's My "Boy Wonder"-Batman

9. Domestic violence is a crime we take very seriously at the Michigan Bar Association, just ask our female client who we won a $50,000,000 judgement for against her boyfriend. The defendant claims our client wanted him to be a brave man and a caveman, and that his barrage of verbal abuse was only to show he cared, but that didn't pass muster with the female jury we selected!

Johnny Get Angry-Joannie Sommers

10. Are you the victim of a reckless, negligent driver? We sought out and won unspecified damages for our client, who claimed to be hit by a speeding vehicle occupied by the two lovebird defendants, who also appeared to be intoxicated. Even the Michigan Bar Association can wring out huge settlements from a checkout girl and an unemployed ne'er do well. When you live with the bottle, that's just the way it is, dear.

Fast Car-Tracy Chapman

11. At the Michigan Bar Association, we certainly aren't afraid to take on the big corporations and their fancy attorneys! Representing our client and his girlfriend, we sued an automobile manufacturer for product negligence, in particular, for a seat belt that wouldn't unbuckle and left our one client unable to satisfy his lover. This led to trauma and distress in our clients' relationship, and shall we say, a nice big fat settlement as well.

No Particular Place To Go-Chuck Berry

12. From the ballroom to the courtroom, we helped our client seek stiff punitive damages against her waltzing partner. Claims that he repeatedly pulled her by the hair and by the ears were backed up by several witnesses, an orchestra leader and three celebrity judges. Thanks to the Michigan Bar association, now our client takes her baby by the checkbook.

Dance Hall Days-Wang Chung

13. As our client in #11 can tell you, voyeurism can leave lasting scars on its victims that just will not heal until proper monetary compensation is made. Take for example our client, who we'll call Norville. In the privacy of his own crib, his girlfriend videotaped him and a neighbor on the counter, on the sofa, and even in the shower. When the video from the bathroom floor was played before the courtroom, there wasn't a dry eye in the house, sealing an easy seven figure punitive judgement for Norv against the peeping tom defendant.

Somebody's Watching Me-Rockwell

14. Our client needed money fast to pay her rent, so when some creep stole her brand new Chevrolet, she contacted the Michigan Bar Association. Springing into action, we hauled the thief into court and slapped him with a $10,000,000 lawsuit. Next up, the man who stole our client's heart and robbed her blind.

Batman Was Too Busy Hanging Out With That Boy in the Red Dress To Help Me-Vicki Vale & The Victims

15. Child labor laws are in place for a reason, and thanks to groundbreaking work done by the Michigan Bar Association in the case Kids v. Parents, we have forever relieved children around the great state of Michigan from ever having to do chores again. So feel free to go ride with your hoodlum friends without bringing in the dog or putting out the cat!

Yakety Yak-Coasters

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system.

Sue Me Sue You Blues-George Harrison

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"?

Actually, I believe the exact quote was "let's kill all the DEFENSE lawyers, and the person who said that was Hamilton Burger.

A most clever game, lb!!

starfish1113 · #14 Post by **starfish1113** » Sun Feb 24, 2013 4:01 pm

Spoiler

This is gonna be bad....

1. Nope
2. Escape (The Pina Colada Song) (#39 in 1979, #1,275 all time) - Rupert Holmes
3. Nope
4. Nothing Compares 2 U (#1 in '90, #29 all time) - Sinead O'Connor
5. Nope
6. Mama Said Knock You Out (#22 in '91, #1,014 all time) - LL Cool J
7. Nope
8. Nope
9. Nope
10. Nope
11. Nope
12. Nope
13. It Wasn't Me (#14 in '01, #787 all time) - Shaggy
14. Nope
15. Nope

Kroxquo - Before he Cheats - Carrie Underwood

Bonus - No clue. I'll say MacBeth

Hotseat Or Bust! · #15 Post by **Hotseat Or Bust!** » Sun Feb 24, 2013 4:56 pm

Spoiler

2.) The Pina Colada Song - Rupert Holmes, 3.) Get Off Of My Cloud - The Rolling Stones, 4.) Nothing Compares To You - Sinead O'Conner, 7.) Disco Inferno - The Trammps, 8.) Lady In Red - Chris DeBurgh, 13.) Somebody's Watching Me - Rockwell. Krox Bonus: Indiana Wants Me - R. Dean Taylor.

TheSearchIsOn · #16 Post by **TheSearchIsOn** » Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:22 pm

TheMichiganBarAssociation

Hello prospective clients, this is the Michigan Bar Association here, and we hope you are having a wonderful Friday... though we take no responsibility if you are in fact not having a good Friday. LB was kind enough to sell us this Free For All Friday space to do a little advertising for our firm, which we hope will counterbalance all of the negative, libelous and downright mean and nasty things one of our former clients has said about us here. We hope you will enjoy today's advertisement, but before it begins, we must ask you to sign this liability waiver indemnifying us from any physical or emotional anguish you may experience during this post. We also please ask that you not have any other third parties play this game in your place, as that goes distinctly against the strict code of ethics we attorneys from the great state of Michigan value so highly.

Thank you for choosing the Michigan Bar Association! And remember, we don't get paid until you get scored!

1 point for the title, 1 point for the artist, and one third of your total points to the Michigan Bar Association...

1. Our client was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle when he called us for help, and with the aid of the crooked Cook County court system, we managed to win a hefty judgement of $20,000,000 for him against the defendant, known in our files as "Jealous Husband". As icing on the cake, we also took devoted wife Doris to the cleaners for an additional $5,000,000 in punitive damages just for looking nice. Even after our take, that'll buy a lot of fancy clothes and fix the oil leak on that custom Continental.

"Bad Bad Leroy Brown" - Jim Croce

2. Divorce Court special! We successfully obtained half of all assets as well as a nice fat alimony settlement for our client after she caught her husband responding to her classified ad. The defendant may not have been thinking about his lady, but he should have thought about his lady's lawyers!

"Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" - Rupert Holmes

3. Our barristers obtained judgement for illegal trespassing and solicitation in the amount of £10.000.000 against an unspecified defendant who appeared in court dressed up like the British flag. That beats the measly five pounds defendant was offering to settle with our client, and only upon the specification that he used the same detergent he was shilling for.

4. We do malpractice cases as well! We obtained a $30,000,000 award for our client against her doctor for failing to treat her depression and broken heart. Thanks to this fool, now our client can afford to eat her dinner in a fancy restaurant... but perhaps our client ripping up a picture of the Surgeon General upon the judge rendering his verdict was overdoing it a tad.

"Nothing Compares 2 U" - Sinead O'Conner

5. To show that even The Michigan Bar Association can't win them all, we once had an epic lawsuit that took us several years and some of our best lawyers to successfully win. Despite running way too long, it was a beautiful case that won our client over $10,000,000. The appellate court however didn't think all the pieces fit, so they cut the judgement down to $3.05. Well, that's the legal business!

6. Damages! Damages! Damages! Damages! That's what we collected for our clients in a class action lawsuit against a defendant who went just a little wild with his towerin' and overpowerin' slaying, devouring and bombing. Claims by the defendant that his mother drove him to it were duly noted for future lawsuit reference. We're not calling it a comeback, the Michigan Bar Association has been here for years!

7. Living under a slumlord with unsafe conditions in your dwelling? We can take him for every penny he's worth, just like we did the owner of a 100 story building whose property wasn't up to current fire safety codes. Our clients got plenty of saaaaaaaaaatisfaction from their 5% of the settlement money, and we outfitted our entire staff with polyester leisure suits with our modest cut!

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.

9. Domestic violence is a crime we take very seriously at the Michigan Bar Association, just ask our female client who we won a $50,000,000 judgement for against her boyfriend. The defendant claims our client wanted him to be a brave man and a caveman, and that his barrage of verbal abuse was only to show he cared, but that didn't pass muster with the female jury we selected!

10. Are you the victim of a reckless, negligent driver? We sought out and won unspecified damages for our client, who claimed to be hit by a speeding vehicle occupied by the two lovebird defendants, who also appeared to be intoxicated. Even the Michigan Bar Association can wring out huge settlements from a checkout girl and an unemployed ne'er do well. When you live with the bottle, that's just the way it is, dear.

11. At the Michigan Bar Association, we certainly aren't afraid to take on the big corporations and their fancy attorneys! Representing our client and his girlfriend, we sued an automobile manufacturer for product negligence, in particular, for a seat belt that wouldn't unbuckle and left our one client unable to satisfy his lover. This led to trauma and distress in our clients' relationship, and shall we say, a nice big fat settlement as well.

12. From the ballroom to the courtroom, we helped our client seek stiff punitive damages against her waltzing partner. Claims that he repeatedly pulled her by the hair and by the ears were backed up by several witnesses, an orchestra leader and three celebrity judges. Thanks to the Michigan Bar association, now our client takes her baby by the checkbook.

"Dance Hall Days" - Wang Chung

13. As our client in #11 can tell you, voyeurism can leave lasting scars on its victims that just will not heal until proper monetary compensation is made. Take for example our client, who we'll call Norville. In the privacy of his own crib, his girlfriend videotaped him and a neighbor on the counter, on the sofa, and even in the shower. When the video from the bathroom floor was played before the courtroom, there wasn't a dry eye in the house, sealing an easy seven figure punitive judgement for Norv against the peeping tom defendant.

"It Wasn't Me" - Shaggy

14. Our client needed money fast to pay her rent, so when some creep stole her brand new Chevrolet, she contacted the Michigan Bar Association. Springing into action, we hauled the thief into court and slapped him with a $10,000,000 lawsuit. Next up, the man who stole our client's heart and robbed her blind.

15. Child labor laws are in place for a reason, and thanks to groundbreaking work done by the Michigan Bar Association in the case Kids v. Parents, we have forever relieved children around the great state of Michigan from ever having to do chores again. So feel free to go ride with your hoodlum friends without bringing in the dog or putting out the cat!

"Yakety Yak" - The Coasters?

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system.

"Before He Cheats" - Carrie Underwood

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"?

Jessie · #17 Post by **Jessie** » Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:40 pm

Michigan Bar Association

Hello prospective clients, this is the Michigan Bar Association here, and we hope you are having a wonderful Friday... though we take no responsibility if you are in fact not having a good Friday. LB was kind enough to sell us this Free For All Friday space to do a little advertising for our firm, which we hope will counterbalance all of the negative, libelous and downright mean and nasty things one of our former clients has said about us here. We hope you will enjoy today's advertisement, but before it begins, we must ask you to sign this liability waiver indemnifying us from any physical or emotional anguish you may experience during this post. We also please ask that you not have any other third parties play this game in your place, as that goes distinctly against the strict code of ethics we attorneys from the great state of Michigan value so highly.

Thank you for choosing the Michigan Bar Association! And remember, we don't get paid until you get scored!

1 point for the title, 1 point for the artist, and one third of your total points to the Michigan Bar Association...

1. Our client was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle when he called us for help, and with the aid of the crooked Cook County court system, we managed to win a hefty judgement of $20,000,000 for him against the defendant, known in our files as "Jealous Husband". As icing on the cake, we also took devoted wife Doris to the cleaners for an additional $5,000,000 in punitive damages just for looking nice. Even after our take, that'll buy a lot of fancy clothes and fix the oil leak on that custom Continental.
Bad Leroy Brown – Jim Croce

2. Divorce Court special! We successfully obtained half of all assets as well as a nice fat alimony settlement for our client after she caught her husband responding to her classified ad. The defendant may not have been thinking about his lady, but he should have thought about his lady's lawyers!
Escape aka Pina Colada Song – Rupert Holmes

3. Our barristers obtained judgement for illegal trespassing and solicitation in the amount of £10.000.000 against an unspecified defendant who appeared in court dressed up like the British flag. That beats the measly five pounds defendant was offering to settle with our client, and only upon the specification that he used the same detergent he was shilling for.
Satisfaction – Rolling Stones

4. We do malpractice cases as well! We obtained a $30,000,000 award for our client against her doctor for failing to treat her depression and broken heart. Thanks to this fool, now our client can afford to eat her dinner in a fancy restaurant... but perhaps our client ripping up a picture of the Surgeon General upon the judge rendering his verdict was overdoing it a tad.
Sinead O’Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U

5. To show that even The Michigan Bar Association can't win them all, we once had an epic lawsuit that took us several years and some of our best lawyers to successfully win. Despite running way too long, it was a beautiful case that won our client over $10,000,000. The appellate court however didn't think all the pieces fit, so they cut the judgement down to $3.05. Well, that's the legal business!
Stairway To Heaven – Led Zeppelin

6. Damages! Damages! Damages! Damages! That's what we collected for our clients in a class action lawsuit against a defendant who went just a little wild with his towerin' and overpowerin' slaying, devouring and bombing. Claims by the defendant that his mother drove him to it were duly noted for future lawsuit reference. We're not calling it a comeback, the Michigan Bar Association has been here for years!
Psycho Killer – The Talking Heads

7. Living under a slumlord with unsafe conditions in your dwelling? We can take him for every penny he's worth, just like we did the owner of a 100 story building whose property wasn't up to current fire safety codes. Our clients got plenty of saaaaaaaaaatisfaction from their 5% of the settlement money, and we outfitted our entire staff with polyester leisure suits with our modest cut!
Burning Down The Penthouse (Love Theme from the Motion Picture Blockbuster ~ Trump Towering Inferno) – The Combustible Combovers

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.
Order In The Court - Judge Judy and The Bawdy Bailiffs

9. Domestic violence is a crime we take very seriously at the Michigan Bar Association, just ask our female client who we won a $50,000,000 judgement for against her boyfriend. The defendant claims our client wanted him to be a brave man and a caveman, and that his barrage of verbal abuse was only to show he cared, but that didn't pass muster with the female jury we selected!
Bitch – Chris Brown

10. Are you the victim of a reckless, negligent driver? We sought out and won unspecified damages for our client, who claimed to be hit by a speeding vehicle occupied by the two lovebird defendants, who also appeared to be intoxicated. Even the Michigan Bar Association can wring out huge settlements from a checkout girl and an unemployed ne'er do well. When you live with the bottle, that's just the way it is, dear.
I Drink Alone – Lindsey Lohan

11. At the Michigan Bar Association, we certainly aren't afraid to take on the big corporations and their fancy attorneys! Representing our client and his girlfriend, we sued an automobile manufacturer for product negligence, in particular, for a seat belt that wouldn't unbuckle and left our one client unable to satisfy his lover. This led to trauma and distress in our clients' relationship, and shall we say, a nice big fat settlement as well.
Lying Eyes - Eagles

12. From the ballroom to the courtroom, we helped our client seek stiff punitive damages against her waltzing partner. Claims that he repeatedly pulled her by the hair and by the ears were backed up by several witnesses, an orchestra leader and three celebrity judges. Thanks to the Michigan Bar association, now our client takes her baby by the checkbook.
Backhanding My Baby Boogie - Chris Brown

13. As our client in #11 can tell you, voyeurism can leave lasting scars on its victims that just will not heal until proper monetary compensation is made. Take for example our client, who we'll call Norville. In the privacy of his own crib, his girlfriend videotaped him and a neighbor on the counter, on the sofa, and even in the shower. When the video from the bathroom floor was played before the courtroom, there wasn't a dry eye in the house, sealing an easy seven figure punitive judgement for Norv against the peeping tom defendant.
I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me – Rockwell

14. Our client needed money fast to pay her rent, so when some creep stole her brand new Chevrolet, she contacted the Michigan Bar Association. Springing into action, we hauled the thief into court and slapped him with a $10,000,000 lawsuit. Next up, the man who stole our client's heart and robbed her blind.
Love 4 Sale – Kevin Federline

15. Child labor laws are in place for a reason, and thanks to groundbreaking work done by the Michigan Bar Association in the case Kids v. Parents, we have forever relieved children around the great state of Michigan from ever having to do chores again. So feel free to go ride with your hoodlum friends without bringing in the dog or putting out the cat!
Parents Just Don’t Understand – DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system. Get Over It - Eagles

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"? – This famous line is actually referenced in the song I used for the bonus. In “Get Over It”, Don Henley sings, “The more I think about it, Old Billy was right, let’s kill all the lawyers, let’s kill em tonight!” The character who uttered the famous line written by Shakespeare was Henry VI.

#18 Post by **Bob78164** » Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:45 pm

Lawyers spell the word "judgment."

1. Our client was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle when he called us for help, and with the aid of the crooked Cook County court system, we managed to win a hefty judgement of $20,000,000 for him against the defendant, known in our files as "Jealous Husband". As icing on the cake, we also took devoted wife Doris to the cleaners for an additional $5,000,000 in punitive damages just for looking nice. Even after our take, that'll buy a lot of fancy clothes and fix the oil leak on that custom Continental.

Take a Letter, Maria

2. Divorce Court special! We successfully obtained half of all assets as well as a nice fat alimony settlement for our client after she caught her husband responding to her classified ad. The defendant may not have been thinking about his lady, but he should have thought about his lady's lawyers!

Escape (The Pina Colada Song), Rupert Holmes

3. Our barristers obtained judgement for illegal trespassing and solicitation in the amount of £10.000.000 against an unspecified defendant who appeared in court dressed up like the British flag. That beats the measly five pounds defendant was offering to settle with our client, and only upon the specification that he used the same detergent he was shilling for.

4. We do malpractice cases as well! We obtained a $30,000,000 award for our client against her doctor for failing to treat her depression and broken heart. Thanks to this fool, now our client can afford to eat her dinner in a fancy restaurant... but perhaps our client ripping up a picture of the Surgeon General upon the judge rendering his verdict was overdoing it a tad.

5. To show that even The Michigan Bar Association can't win them all, we once had an epic lawsuit that took us several years and some of our best lawyers to successfully win. Despite running way too long, it was a beautiful case that won our client over $10,000,000. The appellate court however didn't think all the pieces fit, so they cut the judgement down to $3.05. Well, that's the legal business!

6. Damages! Damages! Damages! Damages! That's what we collected for our clients in a class action lawsuit against a defendant who went just a little wild with his towerin' and overpowerin' slaying, devouring and bombing. Claims by the defendant that his mother drove him to it were duly noted for future lawsuit reference. We're not calling it a comeback, the Michigan Bar Association has been here for years!

7. Living under a slumlord with unsafe conditions in your dwelling? We can take him for every penny he's worth, just like we did the owner of a 100 story building whose property wasn't up to current fire safety codes. Our clients got plenty of saaaaaaaaaatisfaction from their 5% of the settlement money, and we outfitted our entire staff with polyester leisure suits with our modest cut!

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.

9. Domestic violence is a crime we take very seriously at the Michigan Bar Association, just ask our female client who we won a $50,000,000 judgement for against her boyfriend. The defendant claims our client wanted him to be a brave man and a caveman, and that his barrage of verbal abuse was only to show he cared, but that didn't pass muster with the female jury we selected!

10. Are you the victim of a reckless, negligent driver? We sought out and won unspecified damages for our client, who claimed to be hit by a speeding vehicle occupied by the two lovebird defendants, who also appeared to be intoxicated. Even the Michigan Bar Association can wring out huge settlements from a checkout girl and an unemployed ne'er do well. When you live with the bottle, that's just the way it is, dear.

11. At the Michigan Bar Association, we certainly aren't afraid to take on the big corporations and their fancy attorneys! Representing our client and his girlfriend, we sued an automobile manufacturer for product negligence, in particular, for a seat belt that wouldn't unbuckle and left our one client unable to satisfy his lover. This led to trauma and distress in our clients' relationship, and shall we say, a nice big fat settlement as well.

12. From the ballroom to the courtroom, we helped our client seek stiff punitive damages against her waltzing partner. Claims that he repeatedly pulled her by the hair and by the ears were backed up by several witnesses, an orchestra leader and three celebrity judges. Thanks to the Michigan Bar association, now our client takes her baby by the checkbook.

13. As our client in #11 can tell you, voyeurism can leave lasting scars on its victims that just will not heal until proper monetary compensation is made. Take for example our client, who we'll call Norville. In the privacy of his own crib, his girlfriend videotaped him and a neighbor on the counter, on the sofa, and even in the shower. When the video from the bathroom floor was played before the courtroom, there wasn't a dry eye in the house, sealing an easy seven figure punitive judgement for Norv against the peeping tom defendant.

14. Our client needed money fast to pay her rent, so when some creep stole her brand new Chevrolet, she contacted the Michigan Bar Association. Springing into action, we hauled the thief into court and slapped him with a $10,000,000 lawsuit. Next up, the man who stole our client's heart and robbed her blind.

15. Child labor laws are in place for a reason, and thanks to groundbreaking work done by the Michigan Bar Association in the case Kids v. Parents, we have forever relieved children around the great state of Michigan from ever having to do chores again. So feel free to go ride with your hoodlum friends without bringing in the dog or putting out the cat!

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system. Copacabana, Barry Manilow

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"? I know the play was Julius Caesar. I think it was Brutus who said it.

--Bob

mellytu74 · #19 Post by **mellytu74** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:16 am

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY fun!!!

Spoiler

1. Bad Bad Leroy Brown -- Jim Croce
2. The Pina Colada Song -- Rupert Holmes
3. Get Off My Clouds -- The Rolling Stones
4. Nothing Compares 2 U -- Sinead O'Connor
5. The Entertainer -- Billy Joel
6. Nope
7. Disco Inferno -- The Trammps
8. Nope
9. Johnny Get Angry -- Joni Sommers
10. Fast Car? Tracy Chapman, if it is
11. No Particular Place to Go -- Chuck Berry
12. Nope
13. Somebody's Watching Me? Rockwell, if it is
14. Neutron Dance -- The Pointer Sisters
15. Yakety Yak -- The Coasters

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system.

Jailhouse Rock -- Elvis

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"?

Richard III

Sistine Fanny · #20 Post by **Sistine Fanny** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:17 am

Spoiler

1. Our client was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle when he called us for help, and with the aid of the crooked Cook County court system, we managed to win a hefty judgement of $20,000,000 for him against the defendant, known in our files as "Jealous Husband". As icing on the cake, we also took devoted wife Doris to the cleaners for an additional $5,000,000 in punitive damages just for looking nice. Even after our take, that'll buy a lot of fancy clothes and fix the oil leak on that custom Continental.

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown - Jim Croce

As I recall this was quite edgy back when I was a kid. We all felt quite risque singing it. Also, it's judgment, you archaic morons.....

2. Divorce Court special! We successfully obtained half of all assets as well as a nice fat alimony settlement for our client after she caught her husband responding to her classified ad. The defendant may not have been thinking about his lady, but he should have thought about his lady's lawyers!

Escape The Pina Colada Song - Rupert Holmes

I don't remember which is the title and which is the parenthetical, so I'm putting them both down. Also, 5 Effin' Bieber points to whoever makes a Timothy reference....

3. Our barristers obtained judgement for illegal trespassing and solicitation in the amount of £10.000.000 against an unspecified defendant who appeared in court dressed up like the British flag. That beats the measly five pounds defendant was offering to settle with our client, and only upon the specification that he used the same detergent he was shilling for.

Get Off of My Cloud - Rolling Stones

I was going to krox this for something earlier, but I can't remember what. Also, AGAIN, it's JUDGMENT, dammit!!!!1

4. We do malpractice cases as well! We obtained a $30,000,000 award for our client against her doctor for failing to treat her depression and broken heart. Thanks to this fool, now our client can afford to eat her dinner in a fancy restaurant... but perhaps our client ripping up a picture of the Surgeon General upon the judge rendering his verdict was overdoing it a tad.

Nothing Compares to You - Sinead O'Connor

I don't care if you are His Royal Badness, Mr. Prince, the word "to" is not a number....

5. To show that even The Michigan Bar Association can't win them all, we once had an epic lawsuit that took us several years and some of our best lawyers to successfully win. Despite running way too long, it was a beautiful case that won our client over $10,000,000. The appellate court however didn't think all the pieces fit, so they cut the judgement down to $3.05. Well, that's the legal business!

I Want to Channing All Over Your Tatum - Magic Mike f/Django

Sigh... it's called spellcheck, look into it...

6. Damages! Damages! Damages! Damages! That's what we collected for our clients in a class action lawsuit against a defendant who went just a little wild with his towerin' and overpowerin' slaying, devouring and bombing. Claims by the defendant that his mother drove him to it were duly noted for future lawsuit reference. We're not calling it a comeback, the Michigan Bar Association has been here for years!

Mama Said Knock You Out - LL Cool J

7. Living under a slumlord with unsafe conditions in your dwelling? We can take him for every penny he's worth, just like we did the owner of a 100 story building whose property wasn't up to current fire safety codes. Our clients got plenty of saaaaaaaaaatisfaction from their 5% of the settlement money, and we outfitted our entire staff with polyester leisure suits with our modest cut!

Disco Inferno - The Trammpps

Can't remember if it's an extra M or an extra P, so refer to #2 above....

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.

Hey There Little Red Riding Hood - Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs

This isn't it, but now it's taking up too much room in my head so nothing else can get in there...

9. Domestic violence is a crime we take very seriously at the Michigan Bar Association, just ask our female client who we won a $50,000,000 judgement for against her boyfriend. The defendant claims our client wanted him to be a brave man and a caveman, and that his barrage of verbal abuse was only to show he cared, but that didn't pass muster with the female jury we selected!

Johnny Get Angry - Some Chick who was tired of people putting an extraneous E in her name...

10. Are you the victim of a reckless, negligent driver? We sought out and won unspecified damages for our client, who claimed to be hit by a speeding vehicle occupied by the two lovebird defendants, who also appeared to be intoxicated. Even the Michigan Bar Association can wring out huge settlements from a checkout girl and an unemployed ne'er do well. When you live with the bottle, that's just the way it is, dear.

Fast Car - Tracy Chapman

Once I managed to get Changes out of my head....

11. At the Michigan Bar Association, we certainly aren't afraid to take on the big corporations and their fancy attorneys! Representing our client and his girlfriend, we sued an automobile manufacturer for product negligence, in particular, for a seat belt that wouldn't unbuckle and left our one client unable to satisfy his lover. This led to trauma and distress in our clients' relationship, and shall we say, a nice big fat settlement as well.

No Particular Place to Go - Chuck Berry

12. From the ballroom to the courtroom, we helped our client seek stiff punitive damages against her waltzing partner. Claims that he repeatedly pulled her by the hair and by the ears were backed up by several witnesses, an orchestra leader and three celebrity judges. Thanks to the Michigan Bar association, now our client takes her baby by the checkbook.

Alley Oop - Hollywood Argyles

13. As our client in #11 can tell you, voyeurism can leave lasting scars on its victims that just will not heal until proper monetary compensation is made. Take for example our client, who we'll call Norville. In the privacy of his own crib, his girlfriend videotaped him and a neighbor on the counter, on the sofa, and even in the shower. When the video from the bathroom floor was played before the courtroom, there wasn't a dry eye in the house, sealing an easy seven figure punitive judgement for Norv against the peeping tom defendant.

It Wasn't Me - Shaggy

14. Our client needed money fast to pay her rent, so when some creep stole her brand new Chevrolet, she contacted the Michigan Bar Association. Springing into action, we hauled the thief into court and slapped him with a $10,000,000 lawsuit. Next up, the man who stole our client's heart and robbed her blind.

Neutron Dance - Pointer Sisters

15. Child labor laws are in place for a reason, and thanks to groundbreaking work done by the Michigan Bar Association in the case Kids v. Parents, we have forever relieved children around the great state of Michigan from ever having to do chores again. So feel free to go ride with your hoodlum friends without bringing in the dog or putting out the cat!

Yakety Yak - The Coasters

I'm pretty sure I already gave a Yakety Axe whammy bar fun fact in the past, so I'll let it go....

Kroxquo Bonus: Name a song with artist that reminds you of lawyers or the legal system.

She Got the Gold Mine, I Got the Shaft - Jerry Reed

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"?

Channing Tatum

Come to find out, he's a real Henry VI buff..... who knew?

Edited to fix html

#21 Post by **littlebeast13** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 8:50 am

I should know by now after all the years of running Bored games that if I think I've made a game too easy, it will confound the majority of people, and vice versa. When I prepared this game Thursday, I looked at the final product and thought I had given too many clues to each song in my attempt to be clever and funny, but figured, what the heck... after a run of low scoring games, this would be a treat for everyone. Let's just say it wasn't quite the point bonanza I thought it would be, but at least there was a lot of positive feedback about the concept... and I figured this would be one of the more unique and interesting ideas I had in store for this year, which is why I made it the midpoint game....

1. Our client was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle when he called us for help, and with the aid of the crooked Cook County court system, we managed to win a hefty judgement of $20,000,000 for him against the defendant, known in our files as "Jealous Husband". As icing on the cake, we also took devoted wife Doris to the cleaners for an additional $5,000,000 in punitive damages just for looking nice. Even after our take, that'll buy a lot of fancy clothes and fix the oil leak on that custom Continental.
Bad Bad Leroy Brown - Jim Croce

2. Divorce Court special! We successfully obtained half of all assets as well as a nice fat alimony settlement for our client after she caught her husband responding to her classified ad. The defendant may not have been thinking about his lady, but he should have thought about his lady's lawyers!
Escape (The PIna Colado Song) - Rupert Holmes (Oy, what did Rupert ever do to deserve so many haters!? You'd think he was a member of Nickelback or something....)

3. Our barristers obtained judgement for illegal trespassing and solicitation in the amount of £10.000.000 against an unspecified defendant who appeared in court dressed up like the British flag. That beats the measly five pounds defendant was offering to settle with our client, and only upon the specification that he used the same detergent he was shilling for.
Get Off My Cloud - Rolling Stones

4. We do malpractice cases as well! We obtained a $30,000,000 award for our client against her doctor for failing to treat her depression and broken heart. Thanks to this fool, now our client can afford to eat her dinner in a fancy restaurant... but perhaps our client ripping up a picture of the Surgeon General upon the judge rendering his verdict was overdoing it a tad.
Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O'Connor

5. To show that even The Michigan Bar Association can't win them all, we once had an epic lawsuit that took us several years and some of our best lawyers to successfully win. Despite running way too long, it was a beautiful case that won our client over $10,000,000. The appellate court however didn't think all the pieces fit, so they cut the judgement down to $3.05. Well, that's the legal business!
The Entertainer - Billy Joel

6. Damages! Damages! Damages! Damages! That's what we collected for our clients in a class action lawsuit against a defendant who went just a little wild with his towerin' and overpowerin' slaying, devouring and bombing. Claims by the defendant that his mother drove him to it were duly noted for future lawsuit reference. We're not calling it a comeback, the Michigan Bar Association has been here for years!
Mama Said Knock You Out - LL Cool J

7. Living under a slumlord with unsafe conditions in your dwelling? We can take him for every penny he's worth, just like we did the owner of a 100 story building whose property wasn't up to current fire safety codes. Our clients got plenty of saaaaaaaaaatisfaction from their 5% of the settlement money, and we outfitted our entire staff with polyester leisure suits with our modest cut!
Disco Inferno - The Trammps

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.
Don't Pay The Ferryman - Chris DeBurgh

9. Domestic violence is a crime we take very seriously at the Michigan Bar Association, just ask our female client who we won a $50,000,000 judgement for against her boyfriend. The defendant claims our client wanted him to be a brave man and a caveman, and that his barrage of verbal abuse was only to show he cared, but that didn't pass muster with the female jury we selected!
Johnny Get Angry - Joanie Sommers (This still gets played on Music Choice's oldies channel.... my, have times changed!)

10. Are you the victim of a reckless, negligent driver? We sought out and won unspecified damages for our client, who claimed to be hit by a speeding vehicle occupied by the two lovebird defendants, who also appeared to be intoxicated. Even the Michigan Bar Association can wring out huge settlements from a checkout girl and an unemployed ne'er do well. When you live with the bottle, that's just the way it is, dear.
Fast Car - Tracy Chapman

11. At the Michigan Bar Association, we certainly aren't afraid to take on the big corporations and their fancy attorneys! Representing our client and his girlfriend, we sued an automobile manufacturer for product negligence, in particular, for a seat belt that wouldn't unbuckle and left our one client unable to satisfy his lover. This led to trauma and distress in our clients' relationship, and shall we say, a nice big fat settlement as well.
No Particular Place To Go - Chuck Berry

12. From the ballroom to the courtroom, we helped our client seek stiff punitive damages against her waltzing partner. Claims that he repeatedly pulled her by the hair and by the ears were backed up by several witnesses, an orchestra leader and three celebrity judges. Thanks to the Michigan Bar association, now our client takes her baby by the checkbook.
Dance Hall Days - Wang Chung

13. As our client in #11 can tell you, voyeurism can leave lasting scars on its victims that just will not heal until proper monetary compensation is made. Take for example our client, who we'll call Norville. In the privacy of his own crib, his girlfriend videotaped him and a neighbor on the counter, on the sofa, and even in the shower. When the video from the bathroom floor was played before the courtroom, there wasn't a dry eye in the house, sealing an easy seven figure punitive judgement for Norv against the peeping tom defendant.
It Wasn't Me - Shaggy (Earworm from circa 2001 at Mecca...)

14. Our client needed money fast to pay her rent, so when some creep stole her brand new Chevrolet, she contacted the Michigan Bar Association. Springing into action, we hauled the thief into court and slapped him with a $10,000,000 lawsuit. Next up, the man who stole our client's heart and robbed her blind.
Neutron Dance - Pointer Sisters

15. Child labor laws are in place for a reason, and thanks to groundbreaking work done by the Michigan Bar Association in the case Kids v. Parents, we have forever relieved children around the great state of Michigan from ever having to do chores again. So feel free to go ride with your hoodlum friends without bringing in the dog or putting out the cat!
Yakity Yak - Coasters

5 Point Bonus: What Shakespearian character uttered the famous line, "The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers"? - Dick the Butcher said it in Henry VI (Dick or Butcher was good for credit... oddly enough, one of the hits on Google when I was verifying this question was an essay condemning how this quote is used today by a real, legitimate member of the Michigan Bar Association!)

minimetoo26 · #22 Post by **minimetoo26** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 9:01 am

littlebeast13 wrote:

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.
Don't Pay The Ferryman - Chris DeBurgh

And in true Vague fashion, I had thought of kroxing this but couldn't quite remember who sang it! The red dress was supposed to be refering to Lady in Red, I guess, but it threw me off...

#23 Post by **littlebeast13** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 9:11 am

JJC Points:

Krox gets a JJC point for He Hit Me and It Felt Like a Kiss...

mrkelley gets 2 JJC points for spotted Dick...

Vandal gets a JJC point for The Ttrraammppss....

smiler gets 2 JJC points for Dead Man's Curve, which I had in the game until I did a last minute swap for The Entertainer...

mini gets 2 JJC points for summoning my attorney....

frank gets a JJC point for Phyllis getting squeezed...

mike gets a JJC point for being the president of the Rupert Holmes fan club (Are you sure you're not Rexer?)

etaoin gets 2 JJC points for my favorite tidbit about Escape and killing all the Dicks...

TBone gets 2 JJC points for challenging the ethics of the MBA and for the Perry Mason reference I had to look up. I have little doubt I'd have loved Perry Mason had I ever gotten the chance to watch it, but I haven't seen an episode of it.... ever.

starfish gets his usual JJC point for the rankings....

Jessie gets 3 JJC points for picking on Chris Brown, and for my favorite Krox of the game...

Bob gets 2 JJC points for picking on my spelling and for being so sure it was Caesar...

Fanny gets 3 JJC points for someone named Channing Tatum and for being quite irritated by my spelling of judgement. For the record, my Firefox Spellcheck has no problem with the word "judgement", but it harkens back to the day I wrote an entire Bored novel with the word "sheriff" mispelled about 427389033 times as "sherrif".....

Points:

Krox 14+1
mrkelley 33+2
vandal 10+1
smiler 5+2
Marley 7
mini 26+2
Weasel 11
frank 22+1
elwood 14
etaoin 19+2
Tbone 26+2
starfish 10+1
Hottie 11
Search 14
Jessie 10+3
Bob 4+2
melly 24
Fanny 25+3
mike 12+1

franktangredi · #24 Post by **franktangredi** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:14 am

minimetoo26 wrote:
littlebeast13 wrote:

8. Thinking of reneging on payment for services rendered? Don't do it! We obtained full payment, interest, and a few million in punitive damages for our old, hooded client after he was stiffed by a customer and his female companion in the red dress. Many men had failed before to get our client restitution, so listen to those voices from behind and whatever you do, be sure to hire the Michigan Bar Association first.
Don't Pay The Ferryman - Chris DeBurgh

And in true Vague fashion, I had thought of kroxing this but couldn't quite remember who sang it! The red dress was supposed to be refering to Lady in Red, I guess, but it threw me off...

Unless I missed one, I think that's the only time I've ever been the only one to get an answer.

mntetn · #25 Post by **mntetn** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:39 am

I'm sorry I missed this one. It looked like fun.

WWTBAM Bored

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