WWTBAM Bored

Insomnia's a bitch.

Sorry you weren't sleeping.

Try not thinking of it as insomnia and thinking of it as more time to do stuff.

Take a nap if your body lets you.

You sound like a guy, offering helpful suggestions on how to fix the problem.

Unfortunately, insomnia doesn't always allow for rational decisions.

It did work well for that one time, though.

mrkelley23 wrote:You sound like a guy, offering helpful suggestions on how to fix the problem.

Unfortunately, insomnia doesn't always allow for rational decisions.

It did work well for that one time, though.

LOL - this is not what I wanted to sound like.

peacock2121 wrote:

mrkelley23 wrote:You sound like a guy, offering helpful suggestions on how to fix the problem.

Unfortunately, insomnia doesn't always allow for rational decisions.

It did work well for that one time, though.

LOL - this is not what I wanted to sound like.

Didn't figure it was. It just made me smile, since that's what we guys always get accused of when a lady wants to "talk." I know I do it all the time. I've gotten a little better over the years at just shutting up and listening and being sympathetic, waiting for any verbal or non-verbal cue that she wants my input on something.

Usually she doesn't.

mrkelley23 wrote:

peacock2121 wrote:

mrkelley23 wrote:You sound like a guy, offering helpful suggestions on how to fix the problem.

Unfortunately, insomnia doesn't always allow for rational decisions.

It did work well for that one time, though.

LOL - this is not what I wanted to sound like.

Didn't figure it was. It just made me smile, since that's what we guys always get accused of when a lady wants to "talk." I know I do it all the time. I've gotten a little better over the years at just shutting up and listening and being sympathetic, waiting for any verbal or non-verbal cue that she wants my input on something.

Usually she doesn't.

You know what - I have thought about this. Here is what I think.

We first want to get gotten. We first want to know that our concern or complaint or worry is understood, appreciated and known. Once we know that, then we want someone to listen while we figure out what we can do about it.

Maybe I should not have said 'we' - it was going to take too much effort for me to go back and replace we with I.

"You don't get it" is the tip off that you haven't done step one. Do not move to step two until step one is done.

After step one is done - and you will know that it is - you could ask "Is there something you want to do about it?"

or not

I took a nap with Erin yesterday, so of course I couldn't fall asleep last night. I just played Prison Throw, and I got one of those games that you'd be thrilled to get any other time than 2:30 am. I just wanted it to end so I could go to bed.

I call it Creative Boredom.

minimetoo26 wrote:I took a nap with Erin yesterday, so of course I couldn't fall asleep last night. I just played Prison Throw, and I got one of those games that you'd be thrilled to get any other time than 2:30 am. I just wanted it to end so I could go to bed.

I call it Creative Boredom.

What do you expect at 2:30 in the morning? Us cops have to sleep too... otherwise we'd have to nap on our own time....

peacock2121 wrote:

mrkelley23 wrote:

peacock2121 wrote: LOL - this is not what I wanted to sound like.

Didn't figure it was. It just made me smile, since that's what we guys always get accused of when a lady wants to "talk." I know I do it all the time. I've gotten a little better over the years at just shutting up and listening and being sympathetic, waiting for any verbal or non-verbal cue that she wants my input on something.

Usually she doesn't.

You know what - I have thought about this. Here is what I think.

We first want to get gotten. We first want to know that our concern or complaint or worry is understood, appreciated and known. Once we know that, then we want someone to listen while we figure out what we can do about it.

Maybe I should not have said 'we' - it was going to take too much effort for me to go back and replace we with I.

"You don't get it" is the tip off that you haven't done step one. Do not move to step two until step one is done.

After step one is done - and you will know that it is - you could ask "Is there something you want to do about it?"

or not

This is very intriguing. I think I've become more "guylike" as I've gotten older, especially the last year or so. When I hear someone start into what appears to be a long, long rant (and I'm not talking about blogging or just talking with your spouse or friends, but with outside sorts of people) my mind goes into "Get to the point. What are you trying to accomplish? What can we do to solve this?" I like a good story like the next person, as is evidenced by my longwinded, wack ramblings which aren't always good stories, but, anyway.

Two days ago I listened to someone vent for 15 minutes, on the phone, about a legitimate bad situation with another resident/elected official.

During the first few minutes I thought the ventor was a nutball. Then, when she maintained a certain level of coherence and actually did get to the point, after I interjected a question or two of course, of what we could do, I realized all she needed was someone to listen to the weirdness she'd experienced and that somebody would at least make some nominal effort to remedy the situation.

Turns out she was so not a nutball (at least so far) and the other person is a nasty evil squirrelly nutball.

So, the moral is-listen and empathize, but not too long because otherwise you'll never get anything done. Sorta like me writing this hotairbagginess.

Stopping someone when they inhale and saying:

"Wow - you are really upset."

Then, depending on the context, find out what it is really about:

"What is the bottom line?"

"What are you really upset about?"

"What are you afraid of?"

"What do you think it means for the future?"

It is especially good when I am upset and I have the wherewithal to ask myself those questions.