I didn't tell you the worst part!

[SpacemanSpiff]

not to mention that there will also be probably paunchy old men in Speedos in the group

I was going to suggest that you find out who organized this (and I'm sure it's a man) and buy him a Speedo in his size. Give it to him and ask him to wear it at said event.

Or, better yet (a la the burqini comment) get some getup that looks like something out of an old silent movie-era beach scene, complete with bathing cap.

Sounds like the pilot for Survivor: New Jersey.

That requires a hazmant suit, not a swim suit.

[silvercamaro]

Have you actually called to express your objections? They may well have a Plan B for those who would rather not participate in the exercise, all things considered. Until or unless you do get in touch with the listed phone number, you simply don't know what alternatives might be available. Let us know what they tell you.

If no alternatives are offered, I could imagine the following conversation: "Wait. Is this a set-up for that TV show on ABC, "What Would You Do?" Will John Quinones be there to talk to the people who don't want to wear bathing suits?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

"Because I can't fathom that corporate professionals would think it's a good idea under any circumstances to subject fellow employees to such possible discomfort or embarrassment. The reasons include...."

But that's me. I used to dread the days in a former office when everybody had to wear matching shirts embroidered with the name of our area. Mine was a special order, somebody went to great pains to tell me, in the smallest size possible, men's small. The shoulders came down approximately to my elbows and the cuffs covered my hands without being rolled up repeatedly. I wasn't any more comfortable about being TOO covered up than I would have been by being ordered to wear too little. If I'd had to wear a bathing suit, I would have had difficulty in finding anything my size that didn't have a picture of a Disney princess on the front.

[christie1111]

Have you actually called to express your objections? They may well have a Plan B for those who would rather not participate in the exercise, all things considered. Until or unless you do get in touch with the listed phone number, you simply don't know what alternatives might be available. Let us know what they tell you.

If no alternatives are offered, I could imagine the following conversation: "Wait. Is this a set-up for that TV show on ABC, "What Would You Do?" Will John Quinones be there to talk to the people who don't want to wear bathing suits?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

"Because I can't fathom that corporate professionals would think it's a good idea under any circumstances to subject fellow employees to such possible discomfort or embarrassment. The reasons include...."

But that's me. I used to dread the days in a former office when everybody had to wear matching shirts embroidered with the name of our area. Mine was a special order, somebody went to great pains to tell me, in the smallest size possible, men's small. The shoulders came down approximately to my elbows and the cuffs covered my hands without being rolled up repeatedly. I wasn't any more comfortable about being TOO covered up than I would have been by being ordered to wear too little. If I'd had to wear a bathing suit, I would have had difficulty in finding anything my size that didn't have a picture of a Disney princess on the front.

You would look so awesome in a Disney princess bathing suit!

[minimetoo26]

If I'd had to wear a bathing suit, I would have had difficulty in finding anything my size that didn't have a picture of a Disney princess on the front.

Erin loves it when I wear my Tinkerbell suit! But that's not a professional setting.

I think this whole thing needs to be rethought. I'd love to build the boat but I'm damned if I wanted to row the thing. And some women spend so much time on their hair that even if they were smokin' in their bikinis they wouldn't want to actually get wet in them. It just gets dumber and dumber every time I think about it...

[Buffacuse]

Seriously I think this team building bullshit has gotten totally out of hand. Anytime I've been involved in it, and my colleagues, and my husband and his colleagues, everyone disses it. I guess that's how you build the team...

This swimsuit thing is preposterous and horrible and I would be livid.

My first reaction to this was "man this is funny."

My second and more lasting reaction is to totally agree with Beebs. This corporate team-building crap has gotten ridiculous...and here's how it happens:

One of the team building gurus gets his hooks into a CEO/VP for HR/manager and pitches him on the idea--he loves it and makes it mandatory for the entire workforce (but usually not for him.) Everybody hates it. Then, afterwards, they give you a course evaluation form to fill out and they promise it's anonymous--but everyone is so fearful of offending the CEO that they hold their collective nose and write glowing evaluations--all the time while they're badmouthing it. Armed with the positive evals, the guru goes off to find his next victim.

I actually walked out of one of these once when I was in government--I walked into a room for what I was told was an offsite conference for our office and saw a guy I didn't recognize in front of the room, and a piece of rope (I am not making this up) in front of each seat. I immediately recognized it as a BS team building exercise and was so livid I walked out and told one of my colleagues "they can f'ing fire me but I'm going back to work." I never heard about it again--but I'm sure it was held against me.

It's not just women, BTW, who find this offensive--I have zero desire for any of my co-workers to see me in a bathing suit. Frankly, I'd say this was grievable...but in the real world, there's that CEO thingy again...

[mellytu74]

I can add nothing that has not already been said.

Boonie and I have gotten quite comfortable appearing in public in bathing suits.

Of course, it is the rehabilitation pool at Montgomery Hospital. And all we do is walk and Aquacise.

And everybody looks pretty much like us. Middle-age/old/flabby/with really nice visible scars from heart/hip/knee/neck operations.

And nice middle-age doctors - very sensible people - came up with this plan.

We are not dealing with some cockamamie plan that some fresh-faced MBA in HR thought was fabulous!

[christie1111]

The other part of this that bothers me is that we have a very diverse workforce. There is a woman on the second floor who is completely covered except for a veil. Obviously this would be against her religion.

I actually dreamt about tellling my boss about this and that it made me uncomfortable. She is my age, has perfect hair and makeup (and nails and shoes, and....). So I realized I hadn't told her about this and went to see her this morning. She said that under no circumstances would she participate in this type of event.

I think I will ask the two other people I know from here who are going from here. They are both guys, one is mid thirties and not slim at all, the other is an Indian fellow about my age. I wonder what Krishnan feels about this.

Still trying to decide what to do.

[earendel]

How many ways could this be potentially embarrassing?

Let us count the ways --to the depth and breadth and height your imagination can reach, when feeling out of sight....

But, if you can't get out of it, hold your head high, and help build the best damn boat such team-building exercises ever have created. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, yada, yada, yada. With any luck, your team's boat will sink promptly anyway, and you can swim back to the side of the pool with only your head above the water.

Or buy a burqini.

I actually posted this situation over on Facebook to PeaBabe. She gave a similar response in complete PeaBabe fashion. A) What idiot came up with this plan? B) Either call and complain and see if it can me changed or be the best team partner and win.

So why doesn't Pea come by here any more? Did I miss something?

[christie1111]

Let us count the ways --to the depth and breadth and height your imagination can reach, when feeling out of sight....

But, if you can't get out of it, hold your head high, and help build the best damn boat such team-building exercises ever have created. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, yada, yada, yada. With any luck, your team's boat will sink promptly anyway, and you can swim back to the side of the pool with only your head above the water.

Or buy a burqini.

I actually posted this situation over on Facebook to PeaBabe. She gave a similar response in complete PeaBabe fashion. A) What idiot came up with this plan? B) Either call and complain and see if it can me changed or be the best team partner and win.

So why doesn't Pea come by here any more? Did I miss something?

I don't think there is anything that happened here. She has an extremely full plate. Her parents are aging and have varying levels of dementia. She spends alot of time in Florida. There are things she posted on FB that I am not sure I should cross post without permission. BUt her life is quite full. She does post a daily 'Thankful for....' post everyday.

[elwoodblues]

As usual, Dilbert speaks the truth:

http://search.dilbert.com/comic/Teambuilding

[MarleysGh0st]

Apparently it involves building some kind of boat which you then have to swap with another team. Then each of the team members has to get in the boat and take it for a lap across the pool.

Let me be sure I understand this. You build a boat, but you have to row some other team's boat across the pool and suffer the consequences of their failure?

Sounds like a corporation's view of empowerment: everyone is held responsible for things that they have no effective authority over.

[littlebeast13]

There is only one way to build team-building skills in any kind of workforce..... and that's to actually work together on work, not stupid-ass tea, building exercises.....

Us old timers at Mecca have long complained our crew isn't anywhere near the team it used to be since the unloading job got passed off to the evening crew. We used to all work together for 2-4 hours at the beginning of each night, and now we're off in our separate areas most of the time.

Find ways to force your employees to work together on the stuff they're supposed to be doing, and you'll build team skills....

lb13

[mellytu74]

Boonie just pointed this out...

Does everyone swim? Can they swim? Can they swim but have a phobia for water?

How potentially dangerous is it? Getting into the boat and falling into the water?

On top of the personal space/privacy and diversity issues.

[minimetoo26]

Boonie just pointed this out...

Does everyone swim? Can they swim? Can they swim but have a phobia for water?

How potentially dangerous is it? Getting into the boat and falling into the water?

On top of the personal space/privacy and diversity issues.

And on top of my other objections, I also remember I tend to get skeeved out by public pools. I usually stay out unless they're those kinds that mix the water up with a wave machine. There ain't enough chlorine in the world for me to take a bath with some of the people I see at some hotel pools...