Transcript 10/12/2012 - Lester Marks

[BBTranscriptTeam]

Lester Marks
Monroe, MI

Lester was out until 1AM this morning. He was studying. Meredith asks what and he replied "shots". He's a trained professional partyer. He couldn't bring his companion because he's not a good traveler. It's his pet pig, Ned. [The big screen shows a photo of Lester and Ned.] Lester says Ned is "awesome". He takes Ned for walks and sleeps with him. Lester says "you have to get lucky to be in my bed." Meredith asks if Lester has had a lot of pigs in his bed.

Topic Tree: (randomized)
Game Division
Potty Trained
Presidential Pants
Job Listings
Smart and Hot
Nuclear Testing
Laboratory Blunders
Internet History
Italian Astronomy
Song Book

Question #1 (Song Book)
Which of these songs listed in the book "1,000 Recordings to Hear Before You Die" was released most recently?
A - Good Vibrations
B - You Keep Me Hangin' On
C - Toxic
D - Leader of the Pack

Lester is not that good at music trivia; in fact it's probably his weakest area. And there it is right off the bat. He asks the audience.

ATA results

A - 23%
B - 9%
C - 59%
D - 9%

Lester might recognize the song if he heard it.

Spoiler

Answer: C (Toxic)
Value: $1,000
Bank: $1,000

Question #2 (Italian Astronomy)
Seen here with their Italian names, which of these planets is farthest from "il Sole"?
A - Mercurio
B - Terra
C - Venere
D - Nettuno

Lester is going to have to go with logic on this question. He's going to guess that "il Sole" is the Sun. He thinks

Spoiler

A is Mercury and C is Venus and D is Neptune. But he has no idea what Terra is

. He opts to jump the question because he doesn't know it.

Spoiler

Answer: D (Nettuno)
Value: $2,000
Bank: $1,000

Question #3 (Internet History)
Reflecting its own "check-in" format, what popular site explains its history through a list of NYC locations that played a part in its creation?
A - Pinterest
B - Foursquare
C - Pandora
D - Tumblr

Lester loves checking in.

Spoiler

Answer: B (Foursquare)
Value: $5,000
Bank: $6,000

commercial break

Lester is sure that Ned is oinking and squealing somewhere for him. [The big screen shows the same photo of Lester and Ned.]

Question #4 (Laboratory Blunders)
What food substitute's sweet flavor was discovered by accident in 1976 when a chemistry student misheard an instruction to "test" a chemical

substance and tasted it instead?
A - Truvia
B - Splenda
C - Sweet N'Low
D - NutraSweet

Lester thinks it's

Spoiler

A

. Meredith asks if that's his final answer and he says "I don't know". He doesn't know when sweeteners came out so he says he'd better jump the question.

Spoiler

Answer: B (Splenda)
Value: $100
Bank: $6,000 (no change)

Question #5 (Nuclear Testing)
Beginning in 1964, the only nuclear detonation tests ever conducted in the southeastern U.S. took place at the Tatum Salt Dome in what state?
A - Florida
B - Tennessee
C - West Virginia
D - Mississippi

Lester doesn't know and asks, rhetorically, "Do I want to take a gamble?" Meredith asks what Ned would do and Lester replies, "He's a hog; he'd go for everything." [The big screen shows Ned's picture again.] He can't even make an educated guess so he walks away.

Spoiler

Answer: D (Mississippi)
Value: unrevealed
Bank: $3,000 (half the bank)

commercial break

Millionaire question of the day:
What iconic 20th-century figure once quipped, "Computers are useless. They can only give you answers"?
A - John Lennon
B - Mahatma Gandhi
C - Pablo Picasso
D - Mother Teresa
Answer:

Spoiler

C (Pablo Picasso)

[MarleysGh0st]

Question #5 (Nuclear Testing)
Beginning in 1964, the only nuclear detonation tests ever conducted in the southeastern U.S. took place at the Tatum Salt Dome in what state?
A - Florida
B - Tennessee
C - West Virginia
D - Mississippi

Lester doesn't know and asks, rhetorically, "Do I want to take a gamble?" Meredith asks what Ned would do and Lester replies, "He's a hog; he'd go for everything." [The big screen shows Ned's picture again.] He can't even make an educated guess so he walks away.

Spoiler

Answer: D (Mississippi)
Value: unrevealed
Bank: $3,000 (half the bank)

Do I get credit for bringing this up on the Bored before?

http://wwtbambored.com/viewtopic.php?f= ... ar#p268570

[SportsFan68]

Question #1 (Song Book)
Which of these songs listed in the book "1,000 Recordings to Hear Before You Die" was released most recently?
A - Good Vibrations
B - You Keep Me Hangin' On
C - Toxic
D - Leader of the Pack

Lester is not that good at music trivia; in fact it's probably his weakest area. And there it is right off the bat. He asks the audience.

ATA results

A - 23%
B - 9%
C - 59%
D - 9%

Lester might recognize the song if he heard it.

Spoiler

Answer: C (Toxic)
Value: $1,000
Bank: $1,000

Definitely Toxic, by the Somebody Rule. Dang, can't remember whose rule that was. Oh well, C, final answer.

Question #2 (Italian Astronomy)
Seen here with their Italian names, which of these planets is farthest from "il Sole"?
A - Mercurio
B - Terra
C - Venere
D - Nettuno

Lester is going to have to go with logic on this question. He's going to guess that "il Sole" is the Sun. He thinks

Spoiler

A is Mercury and C is Venus and D is Neptune. But he has no idea what Terra is

. He opts to jump the question because he doesn't know it.

Spoiler

Answer: D (Nettuno)
Value: $2,000
Bank: $1,000

Lessee -- A Mercury, B Earth, C Venus, D Neptune. D, final answer.

Question #4 (Laboratory Blunders)
What food substitute's sweet flavor was discovered by accident in 1976 when a chemistry student misheard an instruction to "test" a chemical

substance and tasted it instead?
A - Truvia
B - Splenda
C - Sweet N'Low
D - NutraSweet

Lester thinks it's

Spoiler

A

. Meredith asks if that's his final answer and he says "I don't know." He doesn't know when sweeteners came out so he says he'd better jump the question.

Spoiler

Answer: B (Splenda)
Value: $100
Bank: $6,000 (no change)

I don't know this one. It seems like it's asking when something was first introduced, but that's way different from the actual question. Based on when they were first introduced, I'd say NutraSweet -- I loved Diet Pepsi in the early 80s until I started to get the adverse reactions which have been widely reported. I don't think the audience is gonna know either.

JTQ.

[Bob78164]

Question #1 (Song Book)
Which of these songs listed in the book "1,000 Recordings to Hear Before You Die" was released most recently?
A - Good Vibrations
B - You Keep Me Hangin' On
C - Toxic
D - Leader of the Pack

Lester is not that good at music trivia; in fact it's probably his weakest area. And there it is right off the bat. He asks the audience.

ATA results

A - 23%
B - 9%
C - 59%
D - 9%

Lester might recognize the song if he heard it.

Spoiler

Answer: C (Toxic)
Value: $1,000
Bank: $1,000

Definitely Toxic, by the Somebody Rule. Dang, can't remember whose rule that was. Oh well, C, final answer.

You're thinking of Spock's Rule. --Bob

[jarnon]

Definitely Toxic, by the Somebody Rule. Dang, can't remember whose rule that was. Oh well, C, final answer.

You're thinking of Spock's Rule. --Bob

Brings back memories of the Phone Game.

[MyBigFatFabulousBrain]

Lester Marks
Monroe, MI

Lester was out until 1AM this morning. He was studying. Meredith asks what and he replied "shots".

Hey, don't laugh! You honestly never know when on the most important day of your life you may get asked what tattoo the hooker on 59th street has on her back, or what color the underside of the toilet is at the Red Roof Inn. You inspire me, Lester, to boldly seek out trivia where no sane person ever dared to go before....

He's a trained professional partyer.

Do they offer those courses to students who aren't in the football or basketball program? I had no idea....

He couldn't bring his companion because he's not a good traveler. It's his pet pig, Ned. [The big screen shows a photo of Lester and Ned.] Lester says Ned is "awesome".

Ned doesn't fully achieve awesomeness until he reaches a nice light crisp and goes in between two pieces of bread. My big, fat, fabulous taste buds are getting all wet just thinking about it...

He takes Ned for walks and sleeps with him. Lester says "you have to get lucky to be in my bed." Meredith asks if Lester has had a lot of pigs in his bed.

Let this just be a lesson to those who love their stereotypes that bestiality is not just a Suthren thing. I can tell Mere's getting a tad jealous, though. The last pig she probably had in bed was Al Roker...


Question #1 (Song Book)
Which of these songs listed in the book "1,000 Recordings to Hear Before You Die" was released most recently?
A - Good Vibrations
B - You Keep Me Hangin' On
C - Toxic
D - Leader of the Pack

Lester is not that good at music trivia; in fact it's probably his weakest area. And there it is right off the bat.

Do they not play music at any of those bars you frequent to get your B.S. in shotology? Or does drunkeness affect one's hearing? Hey, that might be a good topic for your dissertation... see how helpful I am to the mentally crippled!

He asks the audience.

A - 23%
B - 9%
C - 59%
D - 9%

Good to see there are a lot of Marky Mark fans in the audience. I wonder if any of them play Decades!?

Lester might recognize the song if he heard it.

Let's play the MBFFB® drinking game! Every time Lester sounds like a dumbass, everyone has to do a shot! Do you think you can keep from getting alcohol poisoning before Lester finally runs out of chances? Bottoms up!


Question #2 (Italian Astronomy)
Seen here with their Italian names, which of these planets is farthest from "il Sole"?
A - Mercurio
B - Terra
C - Venere
D - Nettuno

Lester is going to have to go with logic on this question.

Logic!?!?!? Isn't that a bit advanced for someone with a Party PhD? Those 101 classes are probably still a few semesters away for you....

He's going to guess that "il Sole" is the Sun. He thinks A is Mercury and C is Venus and D is Neptune. But he has no idea what Terra is.

I guess you didn't look at your latest brain scan, which printed out Terra Incognito....

He opts to jump the question because he doesn't know it.

(gulp!) Whew, this Old Crow is some potent stuff!


Question #3 (Internet History)
Reflecting its own "check-in" format, what popular site explains its history through a list of NYC locations that played a part in its creation?
A - Pinterest
B - Foursquare
C - Pandora
D - Tumblr

Lester loves checking in.

Oh hell with it, it shot time everyone! (Gulp!) We know where this dude's priorities are, and they aren't in the land of (hic!) acedemia, they're in the fucking wasteland of social retardation media...

Lester is sure that Ned is oinking and squealing somewhere for him. [The big screen shows the same photo of Lester and Ned.]

Is it just the liquor, or do I really hear the sound of dueling banjos? Hic!

Question #4 (Laboratory Blunders)
What food substitute's sweet flavor was discovered by accident in 1976 when a chemistry student misheard an instruction to "test" a chemical substance and tasted it instead?
A - Truvia
B - Splenda
C - Sweet N'Low
D - NutraSweet

I guess students were even stupid back in 1976. There are probably campus regulations now that nobody from the Party and Shot Department is allowed in any of the chemical labs... at least not with adult supervision and a leash....

Lester thinks it's A. Meredith asks if that's his final answer and he says "I don't know".

Gulp!

He doesn't know when sweeteners came out so he says he'd better jump the question.

Dayyymmn. Thish ish (hic!) really shtarting to (GULP!) get oooooold.....


Question #5 (Nuclear Testing)
Beginning in 1964, the only nuclear detonation tests ever conducted in the southeastern U.S. took place at the Tatum Salt Dome in what state?
A - Florida
B - Tennessee
C - West Virginia
D - Mississippi

Lester doesn't know and asks, rhetorically, "Do I want to take a gamble?"

Leshter, lishen to me. Yooooooou...... yooooooooooooooou (hic!, hic!) Ummmm, MISHISHIPPI!!!! HIC!

Meredith asks what Ned would do and Lester replies, "He's a hog; he'd go for everything." [The big screen shows Ned's picture again.]

Where are the shenshors when you reeeealllly need them.... hic! Damn piggy, thish shotsh for yoooou.... (GULP!) BACON!!!!

He can't even make an educated guess so he walks away.

What a shurprishe! He can't make an ejhucated guesh! HahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! Oh my God, thish guy cracksh my ash up! (HIC!) Hey Leshter! Party'sh at my houshe tonight! BYOB becaushe you jusht cauuushed me to drain my bottle! HIC! Bashtard!!!

Nihil Obshtat®

[earendel]

Lester Marks
Monroe, MI

Lester was out until 1AM this morning. He was studying. Meredith asks what and he replied "shots". He's a trained professional partyer. He couldn't bring his companion because he's not a good traveler. It's his pet pig, Ned. [The big screen shows a photo of Lester and Ned.] Lester says Ned is "awesome". He takes Ned for walks and sleeps with him. Lester says "you have to get lucky to be in my bed." Meredith asks if Lester has had a lot of pigs in his bed.

Enough with the salacious remarks, Meredith, please.

Question #1 (Song Book)
Which of these songs listed in the book "1,000 Recordings to Hear Before You Die" was released most recently?
A - Good Vibrations
B - You Keep Me Hangin' On
C - Toxic
D - Leader of the Pack

Lester is not that good at music trivia; in fact it's probably his weakest area. And there it is right off the bat. He asks the audience.

ATA results

A - 23%
B - 9%
C - 59%
D - 9%

Lester might recognize the song if he heard it.

Spoiler

Answer: C (Toxic)
Value: $1,000
Bank: $1,000

I'm not familiar with "Toxic" either, but I do know about the others.

Question #2 (Italian Astronomy)
Seen here with their Italian names, which of these planets is farthest from "il Sole"?
A - Mercurio
B - Terra
C - Venere
D - Nettuno

Lester is going to have to go with logic on this question. He's going to guess that "il Sole" is the Sun. He thinks

Spoiler

A is Mercury and C is Venus and D is Neptune. But he has no idea what Terra is

. He opts to jump the question because he doesn't know it.

Spoiler

Answer: D (Nettuno)
Value: $2,000
Bank: $1,000

Looks like Lester is in for a rough go. He had it all but "Terra" and why he didn't know that is beyond comprehension.

Question #5 (Nuclear Testing)
Beginning in 1964, the only nuclear detonation tests ever conducted in the southeastern U.S. took place at the Tatum Salt Dome in what state?
A - Florida
B - Tennessee
C - West Virginia
D - Mississippi

Lester doesn't know and asks, rhetorically, "Do I want to take a gamble?" Meredith asks what Ned would do and Lester replies, "He's a hog; he'd go for everything." [The big screen shows Ned's picture again.] He can't even make an educated guess so he walks away.

Spoiler

Answer: D (Mississippi)
Value: unrevealed
Bank: $3,000 (half the bank)

This is one of those "you know it or you don't" questions - although I think West Virginia could be eliminated since it's not in the southeastern U.S. I'd JTQ on this one.

[earendel]

Lester Marks
Monroe, MI

Lester was out until 1AM this morning. He was studying. Meredith asks what and he replied "shots".

Hey, don't laugh! You honestly never know when on the most important day of your life you may get asked what tattoo the hooker on 59th street has on her back, or what color the underside of the toilet is at the Red Roof Inn. You inspire me, Lester, to boldly seek out trivia where no sane person ever dared to go before....

He's a trained professional partyer.

Do they offer those courses to students who aren't in the football or basketball program? I had no idea....

He couldn't bring his companion because he's not a good traveler. It's his pet pig, Ned. [The big screen shows a photo of Lester and Ned.] Lester says Ned is "awesome".

Ned doesn't fully achieve awesomeness until he reaches a nice light crisp and goes in between two pieces of bread. My big, fat, fabulous taste buds are getting all wet just thinking about it...

He takes Ned for walks and sleeps with him. Lester says "you have to get lucky to be in my bed." Meredith asks if Lester has had a lot of pigs in his bed.

Let this just be a lesson to those who love their stereotypes that bestiality is not just a Suthren thing. I can tell Mere's getting a tad jealous, though. The last pig she probably had in bed was Al Roker...


Question #1 (Song Book)
Which of these songs listed in the book "1,000 Recordings to Hear Before You Die" was released most recently?
A - Good Vibrations
B - You Keep Me Hangin' On
C - Toxic
D - Leader of the Pack

Lester is not that good at music trivia; in fact it's probably his weakest area. And there it is right off the bat.

Do they not play music at any of those bars you frequent to get your B.S. in shotology? Or does drunkeness affect one's hearing? Hey, that might be a good topic for your dissertation... see how helpful I am to the mentally crippled!

He asks the audience.

A - 23%
B - 9%
C - 59%
D - 9%

Good to see there are a lot of Marky Mark fans in the audience. I wonder if any of them play Decades!?

Lester might recognize the song if he heard it.

Let's play the MBFFB® drinking game! Every time Lester sounds like a dumbass, everyone has to do a shot! Do you think you can keep from getting alcohol poisoning before Lester finally runs out of chances? Bottoms up!


Question #2 (Italian Astronomy)
Seen here with their Italian names, which of these planets is farthest from "il Sole"?
A - Mercurio
B - Terra
C - Venere
D - Nettuno

Lester is going to have to go with logic on this question.

Logic!?!?!? Isn't that a bit advanced for someone with a Party PhD? Those 101 classes are probably still a few semesters away for you....

He's going to guess that "il Sole" is the Sun. He thinks A is Mercury and C is Venus and D is Neptune. But he has no idea what Terra is.

I guess you didn't look at your latest brain scan, which printed out Terra Incognito....

He opts to jump the question because he doesn't know it.

(gulp!) Whew, this Old Crow is some potent stuff!


Question #3 (Internet History)
Reflecting its own "check-in" format, what popular site explains its history through a list of NYC locations that played a part in its creation?
A - Pinterest
B - Foursquare
C - Pandora
D - Tumblr

Lester loves checking in.

Oh hell with it, it shot time everyone! (Gulp!) We know where this dude's priorities are, and they aren't in the land of (hic!) acedemia, they're in the fucking wasteland of social retardation media...

Lester is sure that Ned is oinking and squealing somewhere for him. [The big screen shows the same photo of Lester and Ned.]

Is it just the liquor, or do I really hear the sound of dueling banjos? Hic!

Question #4 (Laboratory Blunders)
What food substitute's sweet flavor was discovered by accident in 1976 when a chemistry student misheard an instruction to "test" a chemical substance and tasted it instead?
A - Truvia
B - Splenda
C - Sweet N'Low
D - NutraSweet

I guess students were even stupid back in 1976. There are probably campus regulations now that nobody from the Party and Shot Department is allowed in any of the chemical labs... at least not with adult supervision and a leash....

Lester thinks it's A. Meredith asks if that's his final answer and he says "I don't know".

Gulp!

He doesn't know when sweeteners came out so he says he'd better jump the question.

Dayyymmn. Thish ish (hic!) really shtarting to (GULP!) get oooooold.....


Question #5 (Nuclear Testing)
Beginning in 1964, the only nuclear detonation tests ever conducted in the southeastern U.S. took place at the Tatum Salt Dome in what state?
A - Florida
B - Tennessee
C - West Virginia
D - Mississippi

Lester doesn't know and asks, rhetorically, "Do I want to take a gamble?"

Leshter, lishen to me. Yooooooou...... yooooooooooooooou (hic!, hic!) Ummmm, MISHISHIPPI!!!! HIC!

Meredith asks what Ned would do and Lester replies, "He's a hog; he'd go for everything." [The big screen shows Ned's picture again.]

Where are the shenshors when you reeeealllly need them.... hic! Damn piggy, thish shotsh for yoooou.... (GULP!) BACON!!!!

He can't even make an educated guess so he walks away.

What a shurprishe! He can't make an ejhucated guesh! HahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! Oh my God, thish guy cracksh my ash up! (HIC!) Hey Leshter! Party'sh at my houshe tonight! BYOB becaushe you jusht cauuushed me to drain my bottle! HIC! Bashtard!!!

Nihil Obstat®

Wow! This contestant was so bat that MBFFB® came out of retirement (or rehab ) to comment.

[SportsFan68]

LOL, MBFFB®! You just couldn't resist this -- the dumbassedness combined with the pig and the shots and the degree in partying . . .

I agree this guy was made in heaven just for you!

[Bob78164]

Question #5 (Nuclear Testing)
Beginning in 1964, the only nuclear detonation tests ever conducted in the southeastern U.S. took place at the Tatum Salt Dome in what state?
A - Florida
B - Tennessee
C - West Virginia
D - Mississippi

Lester doesn't know and asks, rhetorically, "Do I want to take a gamble?" Meredith asks what Ned would do and Lester replies, "He's a hog; he'd go for everything." [The big screen shows Ned's picture again.] He can't even make an educated guess so he walks away.

Spoiler

Answer: D (Mississippi)
Value: unrevealed
Bank: $3,000 (half the bank)

This is one of those "you know it or you don't" questions - although I think West Virginia could be eliminated since it's not in the southeastern U.S. I'd JTQ on this one.

I didn't know it, but I do know that we hold our strategic oil reserve in salt domes near the Louisiana-Texas border, so I'd have gone for it. --Bob

[MarleysGh0st]

Wow! This contestant was so bat that MBFFB® came out of retirement (or rehab ) to comment.

Yeah, but maybe he ought to put down the bottle and stick to throwing bricks at his TV.

[hanzz]

Is it just me or did anyone else think My Big Fat Fabulous Brain had a bigger, fatter, fabulouser alcohol tolerance? Clearly overcompensating.

[Vague Mini]

Is it just me or did anyone else think My Big Fat Fabulous Brain had a bigger, fatter, fabulouser alcohol tolerance? Clearly overcompensating.

No one thinks more highly of MBFFB than MBFFB thinks of himself! If he thinks he can hold his liquor, who are we peons to say he can't?

(He's a parody of all the know-it-alls around here. It's a comedy routine that got retired when too many newcomers thought it was serious and got offended. )