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Should I read Fifty Shades of Grey and do a review?

Beebs52 wrote:Should I read Fifty Shades of Grey and do a review?

I would love to see your review!

I know a dare when I see one. This may take awhile.

Beebs52 wrote:I know a dare when I see one. This may take awhile.

If you feel you must, at least get it free from the library. It was originally fanfic posted on the internet. And you can definitely tell.....

Sistine Fanny wrote:

Beebs52 wrote:I know a dare when I see one. This may take awhile.

If you feel you must, at least get it free from the library. It was originally fanfic posted on the internet. And you can definitely tell.....

Is it awful?

Beebs52 wrote:

Sistine Fanny wrote:

Beebs52 wrote:I know a dare when I see one. This may take awhile.

If you feel you must, at least get it free from the library. It was originally fanfic posted on the internet. And you can definitely tell.....

Is it awful?

No.

It would have to be much better before it hit the realm of awful.....

I'll jump in and confess to reading 50SOG. Actually it's about 95% done according to Kindle. I've reached the part where they are about to have kinky sex....Oh wait, they've done that already. sort of.

In a nutshell, it is so far beyond bad that there is no way to measure it.

I know that 50SOG is supposed to give you all kinds of visions of wild, kinky sex. Sadly, I keep getting a vision of the author sitting at her kitchen table pecking away at an Underwood manual typewriter. She's wearing a quilted housecoat, her hair is a mess and she has cats....lots of them. To aid her in her efforts she has a copy of, "Romance Novels for Dummies" and a few Woodiwiss bust & lusts for some quick reference and inspiration.

In no particular order of badness it has:

1. The heroine who has never had a boyfriend who easily transitions into a multi-orgasmic wonder with a talent for BJ's.
2. The constant angst of "He must like me, does he like me?, I'm so confused, He must like me, does he like me.........lather, rinse and repeat (over and over and over until the horse is truly dead). Proving the bust & lust creed that building up to the first time for something is always the best - therefore if you can have many first times it's even better.
3. Evidentially, if a guy has tons of money and dashing good looks he can do anything. Take away all the money and we have a stalker with some serious control issues.
4. As to the plot - well, it's ...um.....ahhhh......Dang, it doesn't have one.
5. Heroine Ana talks to her "inner goddess" a lot. Aside from it being confusing as to if she is talking out loud or to her IG, I find it a little disturbing for a 'goddess' to like using the f-word so much.
6. Did I mention that it has no plot?

There! I have confessed. I've turned in my man-card. What can I say???? I finished my latest Jack Reacher novel and there it was on the Kindle. I think there are sequels. I doubt that I'll read them.

On the plus side, Mrs. JayBee thought it was OK. We're discussing it.

jaybee wrote:I'll jump in and confess to reading 50SOG. Actually it's about 95% done according to Kindle. I've reached the part where they are about to have kinky sex....Oh wait, they've done that already. sort of.

In a nutshell, it is so far beyond bad that there is no way to measure it.

I know that 50SOG is supposed to give you all kinds of visions of wild, kinky sex. Sadly, I keep getting a vision of the author sitting at her kitchen table pecking away at an Underwood manual typewriter. She's wearing a quilted housecoat, her hair is a mess and she has cats....lots of them. To aid her in her efforts she has a copy of, "Romance Novels for Dummies" and a few Woodiwiss bust & lusts for some quick reference and inspiration.

In no particular order of badness it has:

1. The heroine who has never had a boyfriend who easily transitions into a multi-orgasmic wonder with a talent for BJ's.
2. The constant angst of "He must like me, does he like me?, I'm so confused, He must like me, does he like me.........lather, rinse and repeat (over and over and over until the horse is truly dead). Proving the bust & lust creed that building up to the first time for something is always the best - therefore if you can have many first times it's even better.
3. Evidentially, if a guy has tons of money and dashing good looks he can do anything. Take away all the money and we have a stalker with some serious control issues.
4. As to the plot - well, it's ...um.....ahhhh......Dang, it doesn't have one.
5. Heroine Ana talks to her "inner goddess" a lot. Aside from it being confusing as to if she is talking out loud or to her IG, I find it a little disturbing for a 'goddess' to like using the f-word so much.
6. Did I mention that it has no plot?

There! I have confessed. I've turned in my man-card. What can I say???? I finished my latest Jack Reacher novel and there it was on the Kindle. I think there are sequels. I doubt that I'll read them.

On the plus side, Mrs. JayBee thought it was OK. We're discussing it.

You forgot about the best part. The 5468568433 pages devoted to transcripts of the emails they send to each other every two minutes that sound like they are written by giggling 12 year olds. Who are immature for their age.....

So I should just hunt down an old copy of The Other Side of Midnight instead of 50SOG?


I actually read that like in high school, and I recall it had a plot of some sort...

Sistine Fanny wrote:You forgot about the best part. The 5468568433 pages devoted to transcripts of the emails they send to each other every two minutes that sound like they are written by giggling 12 year olds. Who are immature for their age.....

Was this written in the era of Facebook? Sounds like what most of my sisters and their SO's send back and forth to each other....

lb13

minimetoo26 wrote:So I should just hunt down an old copy of The Other Side of Midnight instead of 50SOG?


I actually read that like in high school, and I recall it had a plot of some sort...

Maybe try Judith What's Her Name. The one that did Princess Daisy. As I recall, she was actually a pretty good writer.

This chick makes Jackie Collins seem like a F. Scott in comparison. Hell, she makes Joan Collins seem one.....

littlebeast13 wrote:

Sistine Fanny wrote:You forgot about the best part. The 5468568433 pages devoted to transcripts of the emails they send to each other every two minutes that sound like they are written by giggling 12 year olds. Who are immature for their age.....

Was this written in the era of Facebook? Sounds like what most of my sisters and their SO's send back and forth to each other....

lb13

As I recall, an exchange went similar to this:

"You did, too!"

"Nuh--uh!"

"Yes, huh!"

"Did not!"

"You're weird. "

"You like me being weird. "

"Nuh-uh!"

Etc.........

Sistine Fanny wrote:

littlebeast13 wrote:

Sistine Fanny wrote:You forgot about the best part. The 5468568433 pages devoted to transcripts of the emails they send to each other every two minutes that sound like they are written by giggling 12 year olds. Who are immature for their age.....

Was this written in the era of Facebook? Sounds like what most of my sisters and their SO's send back and forth to each other....

lb13

As I recall, an exchange went similar to this:

"You did, too!"

"Nuh--uh!"

"Yes, huh!"

"Did not!"

"You're weird. "

"You like me being weird. "

"Nuh-uh!"

Etc.........

Wow, I just had a flashback.....

lb13

Sistine Fanny wrote:

minimetoo26 wrote:So I should just hunt down an old copy of The Other Side of Midnight instead of 50SOG?


I actually read that like in high school, and I recall it had a plot of some sort...

Maybe try Judith What's Her Name. The one that did Princess Daisy. As I recall, she was actually a pretty good writer.

This chick makes Jackie Collins seem like a F. Scott in comparison. Hell, she makes Joan Collins seem one.....

LACE!! Shirley Conran. Had to go hunt down the name. I used to read trashy novels while babysitting. Maybe I should go check to see if any of those kids grew up wrong...

minimetoo26 wrote:

Sistine Fanny wrote:

minimetoo26 wrote:So I should just hunt down an old copy of The Other Side of Midnight instead of 50SOG?


I actually read that like in high school, and I recall it had a plot of some sort...

Maybe try Judith What's Her Name. The one that did Princess Daisy. As I recall, she was actually a pretty good writer.

This chick makes Jackie Collins seem like a F. Scott in comparison. Hell, she makes Joan Collins seem one.....

LACE!! Shirley Conran. Had to go hunt down the name. I used to read trashy novels while babysitting. Maybe I should go check to see if any of those kids grew up wrong...

Which one of you bitches is my mother????

Damn, I think I still have that one! There was also one that I think was called Scents that was a real potboiler, but actually had some really interesting info about the perfume industry in between the sex scenes. I got so many of those back when I was in the Doubleday Book Club and would keep forgetting to send the cards back in.....

Sistine Fanny wrote:

minimetoo26 wrote:

Sistine Fanny wrote:
Maybe try Judith What's Her Name. The one that did Princess Daisy. As I recall, she was actually a pretty good writer.

This chick makes Jackie Collins seem like a F. Scott in comparison. Hell, she makes Joan Collins seem one.....

LACE!! Shirley Conran. Had to go hunt down the name. I used to read trashy novels while babysitting. Maybe I should go check to see if any of those kids grew up wrong...

Which one of you bitches is my mother????

Damn, I think I still have that one! There was also one that I think was called Scents that was a real potboiler, but actually had some really interesting info about the perfume industry in between the sex scenes. I got so many of those back when I was in the Doubleday Book Club and would keep forgetting to send the cards back in.....

Those clubs are how I ended up with a Backstreet Boys CD. But I actually like it, so no foul...

I think Ima have to revisit the Jackie Collins canon now. Dammit...

Sistine Fanny wrote:

minimetoo26 wrote:So I should just hunt down an old copy of The Other Side of Midnight instead of 50SOG?


I actually read that like in high school, and I recall it had a plot of some sort...

Maybe try Judith What's Her Name. The one that did Princess Daisy. As I recall, she was actually a pretty good writer.

This chick makes Jackie Collins seem like a F. Scott in comparison. Hell, she makes Joan Collins seem one.....

Judith Krantz. Scruples. Oh, yeah...

Jaybee et al--THANK YOU! Now I don't have to read that POS. Whew.

But, I, too, may go back and hit the Jackie Collins canon. I lurves those trash books, too. Those were the days.

Beebs52 wrote:Jaybee et al--THANK YOU! Now I don't have to read that POS. Whew.

Like hell you don't! We want a review of the punctuation.....

lb13

littlebeast13 wrote:

Beebs52 wrote:Jaybee et al--THANK YOU! Now I don't have to read that POS. Whew.

Like hell you don't! We want a review of the punctuation.....

lb13

You mean "punctuation."

Who wants to see a review of 50SOG by MBFFB

themanintheseersuckersuit wrote:Who wants to see a review of 50SOG by MBFFB

Dammit! Do not tempt me! I have too many irons in the fire as it is now.....

lb13

themanintheseersuckersuit wrote:Who wants to see a review of 50SOG by MBFFB

He just watches sucky TV.

littlebeast13 wrote:

themanintheseersuckersuit wrote:Who wants to see a review of 50SOG by MBFFB

Dammit! Do not tempt me! I have too many irons in the fire as it is now.....

lb13

DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

http://hatersanon.wordpress.com/2012/10 ... s-of-grey/

In fact, it’s glaringly obvious to anyone with half a brain that it couldn’t be much less realistic if the heroine was a talking squirrel.

lb13