Wedding Blog - Big Day minus 186

[gsabc]

Okay, time to make fun of the food, or at least its description. Hey, with these prices, I should be allowed to razz them all I can.

I still say "Butler passed hors d'oeuvres" has an interpretation too disgusting to think about.

Southwestern Chicken Satay with Sweet Chili Sauce - Would that be southwestern Thailand? Or is it the chili sauce that gives it that geographic positioning?

The lowest price for the hors d'oeuvres is $3.13 each, after adding in the 25% combined state meals tax and "administrative charge". Maybe I'll ask how much they'll take off if we offer to just hand them around ourselves.

Smoked Salmon with a Lemon Caper Crème Fresh on Pumpernickel - yes, that spelling is right for the "Crème Fresh". No French scholars around here. But what's wrong with a little cream cheese?

They charge an extra $2.00 a person for beefsteak tomatoes in the salads, including, apparently, in the tomato and mozzarella salad. Last time I looked, those cherry and other miniaturized tomatoes cost MORE per pound than the big ones. Is it really so much labor cost to cut up the beefsteaks?

If you arrange for a choice of two entrées, they charge the higher price for both. Which basically leaves you with a choice of chicken and chicken as the two, if you don't want to get gouged a few extra bucks a head.

Harvest Chicken with Cornbread Apple & Cranberry Stuffing Finished with Apple Cider Jus - Why not just make it turkey and have the wedding on Thanksgiving weekend?

Veggies with the entrées - If they do anything fancy with the potato, it's an extra two bucks. At least you can also get risotto as the starch.

Hand Tied Bundle of Vegetables - As opposed to what, an automatic trusser in the kitchen? And what are Chinese Long Beans?

The chocolate fountain is $3.00 a person plus $400 setup. Liquid chocolate. White wedding dress. Red bridesmaid dresses. Dress blue uniforms. I don't think so.

The most expensive meal option is the stations, basically a fancy buffet with "a culinary professional" serving you the main course (for an extra $75 chef fee per station). You get a choice of three stations. It's unclear if the dessert station counts as one, but at least there's no "culinary professional" at that one.

Okay, enough. Someone got paid for designing and writing up their menu, I'm sure. And to be honest, the descriptions aren't any different from what you see in a higher-level restaurant. We've also been told the food is excellent. It's our dinner at the tasting tomorrow, so I'll let you know.

[MarleysGh0st]

You've got this miser curled into a fetal position, just reading all this!

Southwestern Chicken Satay with Sweet Chili Sauce - Would that be southwestern Thailand? Or is it the chili sauce that gives it that geographic positioning?

Beats me. I thought they already used chili sauces in Thai cuisine.

Hand Tied Bundle of Vegetables - As opposed to what, an automatic trusser in the kitchen? And what are Chinese Long Beans?

Ummm. Do your veggies have a tendency to get away if they're not tied up?

Googling says Chinese Long Beans are like string beans, on steroids.

http://www.sfc.ucdavis.edu/research/AsianVeg/legume.htm

Chinese long beans - (Vigna sesquipedalis): Also called the asparagus bean and yardlong bean, the plants are long training vines grown on trellises. The plants are susceptible to black bean aphids, spider mites, nematodes, and mosaic viruses. The plant is more closely related to blackeye peas than to the common green snap bean. Dark and light green varieties are available as well as a red type. The darker varieties are generally preferred. Trellised. Warm season.

Cut into 2" pieces and add to various stir-fries. The paler green is sweeter and more tender than the dark green.

[PlacentiaSoccerMom]

The chocolate fountain is $3.00 a person plus $400 setup.

Wow. I think that I paid about $40 for my chocolate fountain at Sam's Club.

I have used it twice, at school parties.

I think that it has paid for iteself.