WWTBAM Bored

A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust
and she's in dire financial straits. She's desperate so she decides to ask
God for help.

She begins to pray... 'God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I
don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me
win the lottery.

Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins. She again
prays... 'God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my
house and I'm going to lose my car as well.'

Lottery night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays...

'My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house,
and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help,
and I've always been a good servant to you.

PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my
life back in order.'

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open.
The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself....

Spoiler

"Sweetheart, work with Me on this.... Buy a ticket."

You're gonna get letters from blondes.

My favorite:

A blonde drives up to her house and sees it's on fire. She calls 911 on her cell phone and yells, "Come quick! Come quick! My house is on fire!"

The dispatcher says, "OK, how do we get there?"

The blonde replies, "Well duh! In your big red truck!"

OK... screw the hate mail.

How do you make a one-armed blonde fall out of a tree?

Spoiler

Wave to her.

The blond's house is burgled while he's at work, and the first officer on scene happens to be a K-9 unit which was in the area.

The blond sinks down on the front steps and moans, "Just my luck! First all my stuff is stolen, now they send me a BLIND police officer!"

The subject in the version I know is an old Russian Jew.
The joke probably predates the 20th century. The punchline in my version:

Spoiler

"Nu? Meet me halfway. Buy a ticket."

Yeah, So do I

Next question.

I also like brunettes. and redheads and ....

He also likes underage Palestinian virgins.

Two blondes walk into a building.

Spoiler

You think one of them would have seen it.

Why did the blonde man's girlfriend have bruises on her belly button?

Spoiler

Because blonde men are stupid too.

Jeemie wrote:Why did the blonde man's girlfriend have bruises on her belly button?

Spoiler

Because blonde men are stupid too.

A blond man comes home early from work one day & hears strange noises from the bedroom. He goes in to find his wife lying naked on the bed, panting and sweating. He asks her what she's doing, and she gasps, "I'm having a heart attack!"

He runs out in the hall to call 911, when his 7-year-old daughter comes up & says, "Hey, Daddy....Uncle Joey's hiding in the closet & he got no clothes on!"

Blond guy throws open the closet door and sure enough, there's his brother crouching beneath the coats, starkers! Blond guy grabs him, pulls him out, gives him a good shake, and yells....

Spoiler

What's the hell's wrong with you?! Here's my poor wife having a heart attack, and all you can do is run around naked, scaring the kids!

Good thing I am a fake blonde.

Means I can be fake stoopid too.