WWTBAM Bored

BANNED FROM WALMART..........

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After Mr. And Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to
browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.


1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's
on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

10 November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least...

15.. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'


Regards,
Wal-Mart

I remember when I was in college, and I first saw this article about "things to do at [enter name of store] when you are bored."

The classics apparently never go out of style. They just get re-cycled and re-sent.

Sounds like this one guy I saw while I was waiting for a bus on the strip in Las Vegas one time. I guess he got sick and tired of the "porn slappers" handing out the "business cards" for all these hot looking gals, and he turned the tables on them. He went over to one group of them and got a bunch of cards and newspapers, and then walked over by another group, and starting handing out the cards by them. He was telling the people that walked by that "his girls" just had their shots, the pictures on the cards from the other guys cards wern't the real girls you get when you call, etc,etc. His wife was hiding her face, but I was ROTFL my butt off.

Ray

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

I seem to recall Leah doing that when she was a little kid!

rayxtwo wrote:Sounds like this one guy I saw while I was waiting for a bus on the strip in Las Vegas one time. I guess he got sick and tired of the "porn slappers" handing out the "business cards" for all these hot looking gals, and he turned the tables on them. He went over to one group of them and got a bunch of cards and newspapers, and then walked over by another group, and starting handing out the cards by them. He was telling the people that walked by that "his girls" just had their shots, the pictures on the cards from the other guys cards wern't the real girls you get when you call, etc,etc. His wife was hiding her face, but I was ROTFL my butt off.

Ray

That is very funny.

I think I would have stopped my husband from doing it, not because it was rude, but because those pimps could get you hurt.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

Alarm clocks are split up between Furniture, Electronics, and Jewelry. They are not in Housewares, and they are also not operational...


5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's
on layaway.

You couldn't put stuff on layaway at the service desk even back when Wal~Mart had a layaway....


15.. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Do I really need to say how many times the fitting room gets used as a restroom.....?


I trashed this list the last time it was posted in its original form....

lb13

Did you take offense?

peacock2121 wrote:Did you take offense?

No. I am hard to offend....

But when I do get offended, it tends to be over the stupidest things....

lb13