Ten things you don't know about women
Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 11:55 am
Excerpt from an upcoming Esquire article with Jennifer Love Hewitt. The "Who It's About" item is a guy she dated at one time or another, and Esquire's idea, not hers. My faves are numbers 3, 7 and 9.
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Thing You Don't Know About Women #1: "PMS is not a lame excuse to be able to yell at you. It's a great excuse."
Who It's About: John Mayer. Wouldn't you want an excuse to yell at him, too?
Thing You Don't Know About Women #2: "We really can pump our own gas. It's just that we've got this fantasy of you as a '30s-era full-service station attendant. You'd look so cute in the hat."
Who It's About: Patrick Wilson. He would look cute in any hat. Or without any hat. Or without any clothes...
Thing You Don't Know About Women #3: "We're not complimented when you call your ex a slut. She dated you, too. So what are we?"
Who It's About: Carson Daly. He was engaged to Tara Reid. Nuff said!
Thing You Don't Know About Women #4: "We're smart enough to know that smell is not always the dog."
Who It's About: Craig Ferguson. He looks gassy.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #5: "Yes, we can dish it out."
Who It's About: Wilmer Valderrama. He was probably skeezing on other starlets all the time (see Lohan, Lindsay; Moore, Mandy) and deserved a stern talking to.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #6: "No, we can't take it."
Who It's About: Wilmer again. Bet he has a sass mouth.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #7: "We want to raise children. We just don't want you to be one of them."
Who It's About: LFO's Rich Cronin, solely because he was behind the lyrics: "New Kids On The Block, had a bunch of hits/ Chinese food makes me sick." Those had to be written by someone with the mentality of a seven year old.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #8: Women are meant to talk and men to listen. We don't want to be fixed; we want to be heard.
Who It's About: Kip Pardue. The insouciant smirk always plastered to his face makes us think he wouldn't be the best listener.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #9: "When we ask if you've had any work done, it's because we want to know what our kids will really look like."
Who It's About: Carson Daly. Have you seen his face recently? He looks like an entirely different person.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #10: "When we ask you how we look, it's okay to lie; when we ask you how she looks, you better lie."
Who It's About: Ross McCall. This is advice he should keep with him for the future.
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Thing You Don't Know About Women #1: "PMS is not a lame excuse to be able to yell at you. It's a great excuse."
Who It's About: John Mayer. Wouldn't you want an excuse to yell at him, too?
Thing You Don't Know About Women #2: "We really can pump our own gas. It's just that we've got this fantasy of you as a '30s-era full-service station attendant. You'd look so cute in the hat."
Who It's About: Patrick Wilson. He would look cute in any hat. Or without any hat. Or without any clothes...
Thing You Don't Know About Women #3: "We're not complimented when you call your ex a slut. She dated you, too. So what are we?"
Who It's About: Carson Daly. He was engaged to Tara Reid. Nuff said!
Thing You Don't Know About Women #4: "We're smart enough to know that smell is not always the dog."
Who It's About: Craig Ferguson. He looks gassy.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #5: "Yes, we can dish it out."
Who It's About: Wilmer Valderrama. He was probably skeezing on other starlets all the time (see Lohan, Lindsay; Moore, Mandy) and deserved a stern talking to.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #6: "No, we can't take it."
Who It's About: Wilmer again. Bet he has a sass mouth.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #7: "We want to raise children. We just don't want you to be one of them."
Who It's About: LFO's Rich Cronin, solely because he was behind the lyrics: "New Kids On The Block, had a bunch of hits/ Chinese food makes me sick." Those had to be written by someone with the mentality of a seven year old.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #8: Women are meant to talk and men to listen. We don't want to be fixed; we want to be heard.
Who It's About: Kip Pardue. The insouciant smirk always plastered to his face makes us think he wouldn't be the best listener.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #9: "When we ask if you've had any work done, it's because we want to know what our kids will really look like."
Who It's About: Carson Daly. Have you seen his face recently? He looks like an entirely different person.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #10: "When we ask you how we look, it's okay to lie; when we ask you how she looks, you better lie."
Who It's About: Ross McCall. This is advice he should keep with him for the future.