WWTBAM Bored

My brother had this joke posted on his blog (borrowed from multiple other blogs, I presume)

Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.

Everybody laugh.

Larry, The Cable Guy, said he came across his parents having sex the other day:

"I was soooo embarassed. I'm never going to THAT web site again!!"


Everybody go "EWWWWWWW"...

That Claudia Schiffer must be a real genius.

I told my co-worker about my fantastic plans, and he told me I had "Schiffer Brains".

The Haircut



One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.


The florist was pleased and left the shop.


When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.   


  Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay
his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'

The cop is happy and leaves the shop.


 The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.


  Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut,
and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I
cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service
this week.'

The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.


  The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to
Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'


Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The


Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.


 The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut!!!!


 
 And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference
between the citizens of our country and our members of Congress.