Page 1 of 1

PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:34 am
by BBTranscriptTeam
Patricia Heaton
Los Angeles, CA
Actress

Half of Patricia’s winnings will go to a medical clinic in Sierra Leone and the other half to the Westside Pregnancy Clinic.

Patricia says there are only 77 doctors in Sierra Leone.
Patricia: They really need the money, so hopefully your going to give me a real easy question Reege, because if you don’t…

Regis: Because what?

Patricia: Some Sierra Leonans will be knocking at your door.

Regis: Don’t do that. I don’t know what the question is. This is how this works. We’re going to ask you one question.

Patricia: You know I went to Ohio State, right? I don’t know that much.

Regis: Right. You’re a graduate. Wow!

Patricia: Ohio State is a very good school. I just didn’t spend enough time in the classroom. That was the problem.

Patricia starts to shake her head as the question is revealed.


$50K If a euro is worth $1.50, five euros is worth what?
A. Thirty quarters
B. Fifty dimes
C. Seventy nickels
D. Ninety pennies

Before Regis gives the choices:

Patricia: I am so bad at math. And when I get nervous.

Regis: No. But Patricia. Ohio State.

Patricia: That’s what I’m telling you. Exactly my point.

Regis reads the question again and begins giving the choices.

Patricia: I can’t do the math.

Regis: Patricia, just think about ...

Patricia: I put everything on credit cards Regis. I have no idea what this is.

Regis: Thirty quarters would give you how much?

Patricia: I don’t know. I have no idea. I literally – My kids -- once they got past second grade, I could not help them at all with their math.

Regis: Okay, then we got a problem. Let’s cut right to the chase. What lifeline would you like?

Patricia: I need to call my husband. Who’s European.

Regis: Oh my. He’s right down our alley. What’s his name?

Patricia: David Hunt

Regis: All right AT&T. Please. David Hunt on the line immediately.

Patricia reads the question and choices.

David: Sorry, just run through those again.

Patricia reads the question and choices again.

Time expires.

Audience: (aww)

Patricia: I’ll throw in the other $25K.

Audience: (cheering)

Patricia: As long I don’t have to tell you how many nickels it is.

Regis: No. But look. The reality is, you have not given up and you haven’t lost yet.

Patricia: I haven’t. We got a beautiful 25K.

Regis: No sweetheart. We can get $50K, but you just have to think about this.

Patricia: Oh, I can still answer this?

Regis: Yes.

Patricia: Oh, I thought we were done!

Regis: You didn’t say… You don’t lose till you say “final answer.”

Patricia starts to do the math and figures out that five euros is worth $7.50.

Audience: (applause and cheers)

Patricia: It’s not fifty dimes. It’s not ninety pennies. I don’t know.

Regis: Yeah. No. Wait a minute. You know this. Fifty dimes is how much?

Patricia: Fifty cents.

Regis: Fifty dimes.

Patricia: Oh, it’s five dollars.

Regis: There you go. Ninety pennies?

Patricia: (laughs)

Regis: How many pennies make a dollar?

Patricia: A hundred.

Regis: All right. Seventy nickels?

Patricia: This is the worst question you could of asked me.

Regis: Seventy nickels. How many nickels in a dollar?

Patricia: So seven times fifty is $3.50.

Audience: (cheering)

Regis: That leaves thirty quarters. How many quarters in one dollar?

Patricia: All right. I’ll give you my answer.

Audience (laughs & cheers)

Spoiler
A. Thirty quarters
Answer:

$50K A. Thirty quarters

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:42 am
by hanzz
I would just like to give a big hug and a thank you to the transcriptionist for completely recreating this farce. Let the bloodbath begin.

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:52 am
by peacock2121
Someone has a bit too much time on their hands.

Maybe they should spend more time in a web game or something.

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:54 am
by Lackadaisical Stumblebum
I will admit that when the question first came up I just focused on the words "five euros is worth what", and immediately thought "Oh, shit, I have to convert foreign currency and I have no frenching idea what a Euro is!"

Then I actually read the question and and it was like "Oh, yay, they're telling me how much it's worth, I only need to know the value of American coins!" And, as any video poker player worth their salt, just give me any random number and I can immediately tell you how much that is in quarters so I'd have to go no further.

It seems like she might have gone into immediate panic like I did, but she just couldn't shut her yap long enough to actually read the damned question through a second time.

Before I saw this, I never thought that applause could sound sarcastic, so I learned something new! Ha!

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 11:11 am
by MarleysGh0st
hanzz wrote:I would just like to give a big hug and a thank you to the transcriptionist for completely recreating this farce. Let the bloodbath begin.
A hug and a thank you?

Transcribing this debacle should earn a medal, for sacrifice above and beyond the call of duty!

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 11:14 am
by MarleysGh0st
Lackadaisical Stumblebum wrote:Before I saw this, I never thought that applause could sound sarcastic, so I learned something new! Ha!
I've been thinking about what would have happened if I'd been in the audience that day, with the other BBs. Could I have limited myself to sarcastic laughter or would I have made a scene that got me permanently ejected from the studio?

Some questions are best left unanswered. :|

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 12:09 pm
by NellyLunatic1980
SWSBN, meet MBFFB. MBFFB, meet SWSBN. And let the real fun begin.

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 12:25 pm
by mom2five
Thank goodness for my DVR! When the "celeb" is introduced, I fast forward to the question, then fast forward to the answer! (Takes about 20 seconds) Are people at home actually watching this blathering ridiculousness???? :evil:

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 12:43 pm
by NellyLunatic1980
mom2five wrote:Thank goodness for my DVR! When the "celeb" is introduced, I fast forward to the question, then fast forward to the answer! (Takes about 20 seconds) Are people at home actually watching this blathering ridiculousness???? :evil:
Yes. Because the average American loves looking at a train wreck.

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 12:45 pm
by Bob Juch
NellyLunatic1980 wrote:
mom2five wrote:Thank goodness for my DVR! When the "celeb" is introduced, I fast forward to the question, then fast forward to the answer! (Takes about 20 seconds) Are people at home actually watching this blathering ridiculousness???? :evil:
Yes. Because the average American loves looking at a train wreck.
But not when there's blood and guts all over. :P

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 12:47 pm
by mntetn
It now appears safe to say that no celebrity is going to leave with less than $50K.

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 12:48 pm
by Estonut
NellyLunatic1980 wrote:SWSBN, meet MBFFB. MBFFB, meet SWSBN. And let the real fun begin.
SWSBN is named in your signature, dumbass... :lol:

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 1:02 pm
by MarleysGh0st
mom2five wrote:Thank goodness for my DVR! When the "celeb" is introduced, I fast forward to the question, then fast forward to the answer! (Takes about 20 seconds) Are people at home actually watching this blathering ridiculousness???? :evil:
How else could my grumbles be authentic?

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 1:04 pm
by NellyLunatic1980
Estonut wrote:
NellyLunatic1980 wrote:SWSBN, meet MBFFB. MBFFB, meet SWSBN. And let the real fun begin.
SWSBN is named in your signature, dumbass... :lol:
The name is Dumass. :lol:

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 2:40 am
by ten96lt
I pulled up Youtube and the video of patricia heaton was on the home page as a "most popular" under entertainment. If its not tailored to me, it probably means most viewed within a certain period.

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:05 pm
by ten96lt
And call me crazy but I think Patricia Heaton's question could be the equivilant of the one question that was thrown out in 1999 making millionaire popular and bring millionaire back to primetime because the video I put on my facebook profile to show my friends has close to a million views already. If it becomes the match that starts the fire, it could make more people watch millionaire.

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 1:09 am
by hanzz
Holy frick, it DOES have a million views already! Nearly 7,000 comments as well.

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 1:23 am
by TheConfessor
I wonder if Heaton's math performance in the hot seat will be used as evidence in this lawsuit against her. A former employee is suing for unpaid wages. I think lawyers on both sides could point to her proven inability to understand money. One side would say it makes the complaint very believable, while the other side might say it shows that any payment error was unintentional.
http://www.tmz.com/2009/08/17/patricia- ... -lawsuits/

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:11 am
by ten96lt
TheConfessor wrote:I wonder if Heaton's math performance in the hot seat will be used as evidence in this lawsuit against her. A former employee is suing for unpaid wages. I think lawyers on both sides could point to her proven inability to understand money. One side would say it makes the complaint very believable, while the other side might say it shows that any payment error was unintentional.
http://www.tmz.com/2009/08/17/patricia- ... -lawsuits/
I never knew you read celebrity gossip. :D

I could see the Heaton lawyers saying though that it was all an act. (If they do, my response, Ya, and I'm the President of the United States). Could you see Regis being called to the hotseat?
Mr. Philbin, 15 seconds on the clock......
How would you characterize Mrs. Heaton's performance?
A. Embarassing
B. An Act
C. A demonstration she can't comprehend math
D. Proof of what OSU produces.

Regis: I'll go A! FINAL ANSWER :D

That video topped over the million mark and it's been only a couple days! This could be the shot in the arm millionaire needs. But on the down side it'll give TPTB evidence they should keep celebrities on.

Re: PT-WWTBAM Transcript 08/17/09 Celeb Patricia Heaton

Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 8:26 am
by jarnon
Here's an article about Patricia's appearance:
Remedial math
Just a summary of what happened, for those who missed seeing the agony on TV.