Thanks to Sprots and DK

[Appa23]

for thinking of my family and my community at this tragic time.

I'll have more to say later.

[MarleysGh0st]

I thought that was a depressing thread to begin with. When the news of the shooting was posted into that thread and then some continued joking in it--I just stayed away instead of posting anything.

But I also immediately thought of your family when I heard the news, Appa, and I'm glad you're all safe. I hope you can work through the psychological aftereffects, particularly how it's affecting your son.

[Appa23]

Yesterday was an unusual day for me.

My wife is in Kansas City. My MIL had fallen while walking her dog on Thanksgiving and broken her "wrist". Unfortunately, it was a bad enough break that they could not reduce it, and she had to see an specialist. She had surgery on Tuesday. With my FIL suffering from fairly severre Parkinsons, and MIL no longer able to care for him in her condition, my wife has been taking care of them (plus our baby).

Thus, with the kids having an early dismissal day, I had to be home by 2:15. I was driving home, listening to ESPN radio, when it was time for the local show to begin. Suddenly, they were discussing this shooting at Westroads Mall. The rest of the way home and then whenever I watched on television during the rest of the day, it really had not personally sunk in about the "what ifs".

I know some of you have spent some time in Omaha, or even lived in Omaha. Overall, there is this underlying communal thought that "those things" do not happen here. Certainly, they do not happen in West Omaha. We watched Virginia Tech, the mall shooting in Salt Lake City, and the myriad of public school shootings around the nation, and we thought: "How terrible. I am so glad that we do not have those problems here." (Here, our biggest problem apaprently was a non-winning football season and no football national championships in a decade).

That facade of misconceptions has been torn down. Looking back, in an overgrowing metropolitan area, we should have seen it coming. Not everyone may be experiencing "The Good Life". Not everyone has the ideal, Norman Rockwell home life with 2 parents who love and care. In the past few years, I have had the opportunity to weigh promotion opportunities in other offices around the country, and I had come to recognize that there are many places where I did not want to live, and more specifically, did not want to raise my family. Yet, as much as I love Omaha (and the Midwest in general), it is not a Utopia keeping out all of the worst parts of modern life.

I don't know if I have mentioned this thought/story previously on this board. Parenthood hit me in an unexpected way. I first saw my son at the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport, as my wife carried him off of a plane. I still recall that the very instant that I saw his face, I thought, "I would take a bullet and die in order to save him."

I mention this story only because I started thinking this morning, "What would I have done had I been there? What would I do if we were in a similar situation?" [Just as an aside, my family almost never shops in the Von Maur store. We have gone in to listen to the piano player on the weekend, during the Christmas season, after seeing Santa.]

There were people who saw this boy carrying the rifle, and they choose not to try to stop him. They choose self-preservation and the preservation of those directly around them. I am not saying that was the wrong thing to do. Rather, I am saying that I am of two minds. Part of me woulld like to think that I would try to take down the gunman, if given the chance. (I am not talking about some suicidal run at him, but rather if I had a chance to tackle him if he did not see me.) I think that a larger part of me would seek out the preservation of my family and myself.

I can tell you this: there are thousands and thousands of Omahans who now realize that life is a fragile gift that can be taken away by the most unexpected of circumstances. I imagine that I will be slightly more on edge for a bit.

To the extent that anyone could rejoice in the aftermath of a mass murder, I am thankful that I did not know any of the victims.

[MarleysGh0st]

There were people who saw this boy carrying the rifle, and they choose not to try to stop him. They choose self-preservation and the preservation of those directly around them. I am not saying that was the wrong thing to do. Rather, I am saying that I am of two minds. Part of me woulld like to think that I would try to take down the gunman, if given the chance. (I am not talking about some suicidal run at him, but rather if I had a chance to tackle him if he did not see me.) I think that a larger part of me would seek out the preservation of my family and myself.

Before 9/11, everyone knew that the rules of engagement in the event of a hijacking were not to offer any resistance. The passengers of United 93 realized those rules had changed. Many of us may have thought about how to react in a repeat of that situation, but the confinement of an airliner is an extreme condition, where there's obviously no other opportunity to run or evade the bad guys.

Unless we have military or police training to prepare for such things, I don't think any of us could expect to react differently in a more open setting like a mall, unless there was obviously no escape. Unarmed civilians confronting armed intruders only happens in the movies.

[silvercamaro]

Overall, there is this underlying communal thought that "those things" do not happen here.

Deja vu. I thought -- and repeatedly heard from others -- the exact words on the day of the Oklahoma City bombing. I heard them again from my mother, who lived in Littleton, CO, on the day of the Centennial High School shootings. And so on.

The truth is that security is temporary and, to some extent, imaginary. Crazy people, cruel people, and evil people can exist in every small town and large city on the planet, and they can make awful things happen. After long thought, I have concluded that the purpose* of such terrible events is not to make us fearful, but to give us -- the lucky ones, the survivors, who were not in the wrong place at the wrong time -- a renewed appreciation for the people we know and love and for life itself.

An unexpected aftermath of the OKC bombings was that most people also demonstrated a greater appreciation and concern for strangers, too. This was observed in such varied ways as more politeness in crowds and increased courtesy in driving -- obeying previously ignored "yield" signs and such. I hope that Omaha encounters similar positive after-effects from yesterday's tragedy.

Perhaps human beings require occasional doses of sorrow and outrage in order to truly know the meaning of joy.



*"Purpose" is not exactly the right word here, unless one believes that everything has a purpose under the plan of a higher power. If anyone does not like my word, they are welcome to search for a substitute.

[Appa23]

I was reminded by my mother one quirk in this hooting.

Prior to an expansion of the mall several years ago, there had been a police sub-station located at the mall.

In the near future, the malls in the city will have a police presence during the Christmas season. (I give it 2-3 years, and then they will realize that the officers are needed elsewhere.)

[Appa23]

Overall, there is this underlying communal thought that "those things" do not happen here.

Deja vu. I thought -- and repeatedly heard from others -- the exact words on the day of the Oklahoma City bombing. I heard them again from my mother, who lived in Littleton, CO, on the day of the Centennial High School shootings. And so on.

The Oklahoma City bombing had a delayed reaction here.

Soon enough, it was being discussed that Omaha's main federal building, the one where I worked for my first 6 years and back into which I soon will be moving, was one of the "finalists" as a bombing target.

Such a threat now has been diminished.

[mrkelley23]

Isn't it remarkable how powerful the description of a sincere epiphany can be?

I had a tenuous personal connection to the school shooting at Paducah (Ky) Heath High School, the tenth anniversary of which was recently featured in the local newspaper. The sense of "it can't happen here" is one of the few common threads in all these unhappy instances. On the one hand, I hate to see that sense of innocence ripped away from a community. On the other, I wonder if a little more pragmatic view of humanity's inhumanity might be more productive in the long run, for a lot of reasons.

Appa, Marley said earlier something I was grappling with myself. I hope you don't think you didn't have good thoughts winging their way to you and yours last night. The confluence of the thread where it started to be discussed, along with other events, conspired to keep me from commenting, fearing that whatever I said, it would be misinterpreted. I now think that not commenting may have been even worse.

Even now, I can tell I'm the computer version of tongue-tied, because I'm rambling and using many-syllabled words where one or two simple ones should do (I call it Dickens' Disease). Forgive the verbosity, and know that there are prayers for Omaha coming from multiple directions today.

[Appa23]

Think nothing of it. If I may paraphrase someone better than me, I know your hearts and your souls, and they are good.

BTW, MrK, your avatar is slightly scary to me.

[mrkelley23]

Think nothing of it. If I may paraphrase someone better than me, I know your hearts and your souls, and they are good.

BTW, MrK, your avatar is slightly scary to me.

I'll be changing it soon -- it's a picture of Steve Earle, one of my favorite singer/songwriters, and it's the best, most flattering picture I've ever seen of him, if that tells you anything.

He also wrote Stephen King's favorite song of 2007, which we discussd here recently, as well.

[Appa23]

Think nothing of it. If I may paraphrase someone better than me, I know your hearts and your souls, and they are good.

BTW, MrK, your avatar is slightly scary to me.

I'll be changing it soon -- it's a picture of Steve Earle, one of my favorite singer/songwriters, and it's the best, most flattering picture I've ever seen of him, if that tells you anything.

He also wrote Stephen King's favorite song of 2007, which we discussd here recently, as well.

I only know of Earle from "Copperhead Raod" and his marriage to Allison Moorer.

[Bob78164]

I can tell you this: there are thousands and thousands of Omahans who now realize that life is a fragile gift that can be taken away by the most unexpected of circumstances. I imagine that I will be slightly more on edge for a bit.

Please be sure to take care of yourself. This sort of thing can sneak up on you in surprising ways. --Bob

[cindy.wellman]

I can tell you this: there are thousands and thousands of Omahans who now realize that life is a fragile gift that can be taken away by the most unexpected of circumstances. I imagine that I will be slightly more on edge for a bit.

Please be sure to take care of yourself. This sort of thing can sneak up on you in surprising ways. --Bob

Thank you for sharing his story, Bob. I was truly touched at what he had to say.

[mellytu74]

HD --

This is from the other thread. I didn't really see the Omaha thread. I have only been skimming the Bored the last few weeks.

"When I saw where the shooting was, I said a quick prayer that no one in the HoltDad family or extended family was involved.

I heard reports of parents with kids separated and a woman with a toddler and baby carriage in trouble and hoped that it wasn't your family.

Glad to see that no one you knew was injured and thankful the close call was just that."

Please don't think that because something wans't posted, we weren' t thinking of you. I just haven't been around much lately.

[a1mamacat]

Just caught up with this news, and HD, please know that I am very relieved that you are all safe. Take care of yourself, as the delayed reaction could sneak up.

[kayrharris]

I had a very busy week as well, can't post from work any more, try to answer the QOD, skim the threads I usually do, yada, yada.

It's very disturbing when this happens anywhere. We have friends here all
over, so whenever anything happens I always stop to think who here might be affected.

I am sincerely glad you and yours are all right and no one close to you was involved.

As far as 9-11 goes, I'm thinking it will be part of our history books eventually, so those that were young or not even born when it happened will know about it eventually. I'd rather my kids have my version of it than whatever version the history books decide to use. jmho

Anyway, I hope your community heals quickly and know that Omaha was in my thoughts even though I couldn't make it here to let you know that.

[PlacentiaSoccerMom]

There were people who saw this boy carrying the rifle, and they choose not to try to stop him. They choose self-preservation and the preservation of those directly around them. I am not saying that was the wrong thing to do. Rather, I am saying that I am of two minds. Part of me woulld like to think that I would try to take down the gunman, if given the chance. (I am not talking about some suicidal run at him, but rather if I had a chance to tackle him if he did not see me.) I think that a larger part of me would seek out the preservation of my family and myself.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to save your family.

It's possible that you could make things worse by trying to take down a gunman, because you are not a trained professional.

I am glad that you are your family are all safe.