WWTBAM Bored

Kickoff weekend
Sept. 10 Tennessee at Pittsburgh NBC 8:30 p.m.
Sept. 13 Chicago at Green Bay NBC 8:30 p.m.
Sept. 14 Buffalo at New England ESPN 7 p.m.
Sept. 13 San Diego at Oakland ESPN 10:15 p.m.

Thanksgiving
Nov. 26 Green Bay at Detroit FOX 12:30 p.m.
Nov. 26 Oakland at Dallas CBS 4:15 p.m.
Nov. 26 N.Y. Giants at Denver NFL Network 8:20 p.m.

The wussy Ravens begged the NFL not to schedule them for opening night- they're tired of getting spanked by the Steelers in prime time!

OTOH, the Steelers got friggin' screwed by the NFL by only getting a 5th round comp pick.

A 5th for losing Alan Faneca and Clark Haggans while picking up Mewelde Moore and Kerayon Fox is highway robbery by the NFL.

Great Quarterback prospect:


The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions.
The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted
all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he
couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in
Afghanistan.
In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim
soldier
with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a
15th story window
100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the
perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of
football. And the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when
the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call
his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you, the old Muslim woman says. "You deserted
us. You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads
"I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among
thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment,
there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble.
Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week,
and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"
The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,

"I will never forgive you for making us move to Detroit!"