WWTBAM Bored

On this day in 1796, fading socialite beauty--and somewhat circulated mistress--Josephine de Beauharnais married a mumbling, young immigrant. (No, Napoleon didn't need a green card, just the status of having a celebrity wife.) Within the year, however, Napoleon would have status of his own. Smashing four Austrian armies and conquering Italy does get you noticed!

The couple had no children. In fact, Napoleon apparently has no living descendants--although I have my suspicions about the Neo-Conservatives. They are unusually short and truculent. While Napoleon was in Russia, he might have stayed warm by impregnating a number of ghettos.

But--as usual--I digress.

Josephine, however, does have descendants. Napoleon was only her second husband. Her first was Vicomte Alexandre de Beauharnais. As a Vicomte during the French Revolution, Monsieur Beauharnais obviously had a bad sense of timing. He left his widow with a daughter and a son. Hortense de Beauharnais--with the emphasis on the first syllable--would marry Napoleon's brother Louis, but didn't even pretend that all the children were his. At least Napoleon III was certain that Josephine was his grandmother.

Josephine's son was Eugene, a name that indicated his charm and ability. He really was a capable, admirable individual. Yes, he was appointed Viceroy of Italy through nepotism, but he governed so well--and how often do you hear efficient Italian government in the same sentence--that the Allies seriously discussed letting him stay on after Napoleon fell. Of course, competence would have made the other rulers look bad, so Eugene had to be fired. He had married a Bavarian princess, so he was in no danger of starvation.

Eugene de Beauharnais and his frau had a daughter named Josephine, a sentimental if tactless choice. Young Josephine in turn married a nice French boy who happened to be the Crown Prince of Sweden. (In an early example of a guest worker program, Sweden had offered its throne to a French general named Bernadotte.) Her grandchild because the Queen of Denmark and her great-grandson became the King of Norway.

So the royal houses of Scandinavia are all descended from the first Mrs. Bonaparte. Even after a messy divorce, that is not a bad compensation.

Eugene

No one has answered my question.

Has anyone seen Eugene and wintergreen in the same place at the same time?

As if this all wasn't a coincidence the said General Bernadotte was married to Napoleon's first girlfriend, Dersiree Clary, a Marseilles silk merchant's daughter. He dumped her when he met Josephine. She then married Bernadotte who was approached by the Swedish government to be adopted by their mad king. So, even Napoleon's jilted girlfriend became the founder of a royal dynasty.

Geez, I love this stuff.

ontellen wrote:As if this all wasn't a coincidence the said General Bernadotte was married to Napoleon's first girlfriend, Dersiree Clary, a Marseilles silk merchant's daughter. He dumped her when he met Josephine. She then married Bernadotte who was approached by the Swedish government to be adopted by their mad king. So, even Napoleon's jilted girlfriend became the founder of a royal dynasty.

Geez, I love this stuff.

Hollywood thought that this story would make a good movie. Marlon Brando played Napoleon (and Brando was said to hate the role), Merle Oberon was Josephine, Michael Rennie was Bernadotte, and Jeanne Simmons had the title role of "Desiree".

Eugene

Has anyone seen Eugene and wintergreen in the same place at the same time?

And how are all these people related to BobJ?


t.

EugeneF wrote:

ontellen wrote:As if this all wasn't a coincidence the said General Bernadotte was married to Napoleon's first girlfriend, Dersiree Clary, a Marseilles silk merchant's daughter. He dumped her when he met Josephine. She then married Bernadotte who was approached by the Swedish government to be adopted by their mad king. So, even Napoleon's jilted girlfriend became the founder of a royal dynasty.

Geez, I love this stuff.

Hollywood thought that this story would make a good movie. Marlon Brandon played Napoleon (and Brandon was said to hate the role), Merle Oberon was Josephine, Michael Rennie was Bernadotte, and Jeanne Simmons had the title role of "Desiree".

Eugene

I saw this on the late show about a million years ago, and the only scene I can remember is the very last one, where Desiree talks Napoleon into giving up some kind of important sword before he goes off to Helena.

The movie followed the book fairly closely -- Desiree by Annemarie Selinko. I loved that book when I was a kid, I thought it was so romantic, not just boring history. That book is now I knew the answer to a Millionaire Q about Marat getting stabbed in the bathtub -- someone describes the murder to Desiree. One of our teachers let us use the book as a "classic" for purposes of a book report because it was so long, and I guess because it was full of history, and all the girls jumped on that. It was like Gone with the Wind, we were reading it anyway. Funny, she didn't let us use Gone with the Wind as a "classic."

That's how I knew the story - I read the book when I was young. I'm not sure if I saw the whole movie but thought it was awful.

tlynn78 wrote:

Has anyone seen Eugene and wintergreen in the same place at the same time?

And how are all these people related to BobJ?


t.

In no way that I know of.

If you want a great story though, look up the story of my something-great-grandmother Queen Isabella and Roger Mortimer.

Bob Juch wrote:

tlynn78 wrote:

Has anyone seen Eugene and wintergreen in the same place at the same time?

And how are all these people related to BobJ?


t.

In no way that I know of.

If you want a great story though, look up the story of my something-great-grandmother Queen Isabella and Roger Mortimer.

Wouldn't that make Edward II your something-great-grandfather? But God knows, Mrs. Isabella was entitled to cheat on him!

Here is what I have written about Edward II and his less than happy wife....


Imagine Dick Cheney with sex appeal: as mean, greedy, and dishonest as ever but now with a "come-hither" look that George Bush couldn't resist. (I will give you a moment to stop retching.) In a previous and more sensuous life, Cheney may have been Hugh Despenser--one of the greatest scoundrels of English history.

Edward II (1284-1327) ruled England as if it were an audition for "A Chorus Line." He picked out the most alluring--if otherwise untalented--young men to run the kingdom. The king was married--politics can make normal bedfellows--but his preference was quite obvious. Edward bestowed titles and treasures on his special friends. One flagrant favorite was even given the queen's jewelry--but Mrs. Plantagenet evidently was the lesser queen of the two.

The nobles, embracing medieval family values, murdered that particular favorite. But Edward II did not seem to get the hint. He just found new boy toys and the worst was Hugh Despenser. Hugh was not content being lavished with estates; he stole them as well. He used the king's infatuation as a royal license to embezzle and extort. If the nobility was already hostile about "the lifestyle", it really resented being robbed. The nobles organized a coup in 1321 and forced Edward to banish Despenser.

In exile, Despenser found gainful employment as a pirate, and he had time to consider the errors of his ways. He should have terrorized or murdered his victims instead of just robbing them. He wouldn't make that mistake again. All he needed was a second chance, and that occurred after one year.

The nobles be damned. Edward missed his Hugh and recalled him from exile, fully indulging his favorite's greedy and vindictive whims. The nobles who had ousted Despenser now were hunted down. The Earl of Lancaster was beheaded; he was lucky enough to be a member of the Royal Family and was spared public disembowelment. The Queen herself had only looked askew at Despenser; so she was merely dispossessed of all her estates. She understandably resented that, went home to France and plotted a rebellion with exiled English nobles. (One of them, the Earl of March, even became her lover. Be fair: the woman was certainly entitled.)

The Queen, her Earl and their army landed in England in 1326. Their public intention was to rid the realm of Despenser. The rebellion also had a more discreet goal: to get rid of the King as well. If the lack of any resistance is any indication, the rebellion was more than welcome. Since Despenser was not of royal blood, his public disembowelment was permissible--and very popular. It occurred on this day in 1326. (The King's death in 1327 was a private affair--except that his screams could be heard over a considerable distance.)

The throne passed to Edward III; somebody got the Queen pregnant. And the new King was said to look like a Plantagenet. (Perhaps Edward II had closed his eyes and made the effort for England.)

British historians recently compiled an interesting list: the worst Englishmen of the last thousand years. Of course, Hugh Despenser made the list. In fact, he made the top ten and was named the worst Englishman of the 14th century.

Eugene

EugeneF wrote:

Bob Juch wrote:

tlynn78 wrote: And how are all these people related to BobJ?


t.

In no way that I know of.

If you want a great story though, look up the story of my something-great-grandmother Queen Isabella and Roger Mortimer.

Wouldn't that make Edward II your something-great-grandfather? But God knows, Mrs. Isabella was entitled to cheat on him!

Here is what I have written about Edward II and his less than happy wife....


Imagine Dick Cheney with sex appeal: as mean, greedy, and dishonest as ever but now with a "come-hither" look that George Bush couldn't resist. (I will give you a moment to stop retching.) In a previous and more sensuous life, Cheney may have been Hugh Despenser--one of the greatest scoundrels of English history.

Edward II (1284-1327) ruled England as if it were an audition for "A Chorus Line." He picked out the most alluring--if otherwise untalented--young men to run the kingdom. The king was married--politics can make normal bedfellows--but his preference was quite obvious. Edward bestowed titles and treasures on his special friends. One flagrant favorite was even given the queen's jewelry--but Mrs. Plantagenet evidently was the lesser queen of the two.

The nobles, embracing medieval family values, murdered that particular favorite. But Edward II did not seem to get the hint. He just found new boy toys and the worst was Hugh Despenser. Hugh was not content being lavished with estates; he stole them as well. He used the king's infatuation as a royal license to embezzle and extort. If the nobility was already hostile about "the lifestyle", it really resented being robbed. The nobles organized a coup in 1321 and forced Edward to banish Despenser.

In exile, Despenser found gainful employment as a pirate, and he had time to consider the errors of his ways. He should have terrorized or murdered his victims instead of just robbing them. He wouldn't make that mistake again. All he needed was a second chance, and that occurred after one year.

The nobles be damned. Edward missed his Hugh and recalled him from exile, fully indulging his favorite's greedy and vindictive whims. The nobles who had ousted Despenser now were hunted down. The Earl of Lancaster was beheaded; he was lucky enough to be a member of the Royal Family and was spared public disembowelment. The Queen herself had only looked askew at Despenser; so she was merely dispossessed of all her estates. She understandably resented that, went home to France and plotted a rebellion with exiled English nobles. (One of them, the Earl of March, even became her lover. Be fair: the woman was certainly entitled.)

The Queen, her Earl and their army landed in England in 1326. Their public intention was to rid the realm of Despenser. The rebellion also had a more discreet goal: to get rid of the King as well. If the lack of any resistance is any indication, the rebellion was more than welcome. Since Despenser was not of royal blood, his public disembowelment was permissible--and very popular. It occurred on this day in 1326. (The King's death in 1327 was a private affair--except that his screams could be heard over a considerable distance.)

The throne passed to Edward III; somebody got the Queen pregnant. And the new King was said to look like a Plantagenet. (Perhaps Edward II had closed his eyes and made the effort for England.)

British historians recently compiled an interesting list: the worst Englishmen of the last thousand years. Of course, Hugh Despenser made the list. In fact, he made the top ten and was named the worst Englishman of the 14th century.

Eugene

One of my guilty reading pleasures is a series of medieval murder mysteries written by Michael Jenks and set in this time period. In fact the latest one had the protagonist (Sir Baldwin of Furnshill) traveling to London and encountering the Despensers and living to tell the tale.

EugeneF wrote:

Bob Juch wrote:

tlynn78 wrote: And how are all these people related to BobJ?


t.

In no way that I know of.

If you want a great story though, look up the story of my something-great-grandmother Queen Isabella and Roger Mortimer.

Wouldn't that make Edward II your something-great-grandfather? But God knows, Mrs. Isabella was entitled to cheat on him!

Here is what I have written about Edward II and his less than happy wife....


Imagine Dick Cheney with sex appeal: as mean, greedy, and dishonest as ever but now with a "come-hither" look that George Bush couldn't resist. (I will give you a moment to stop retching.) In a previous and more sensuous life, Cheney may have been Hugh Despenser--one of the greatest scoundrels of English history.

Edward II (1284-1327) ruled England as if it were an audition for "A Chorus Line." He picked out the most alluring--if otherwise untalented--young men to run the kingdom. The king was married--politics can make normal bedfellows--but his preference was quite obvious. Edward bestowed titles and treasures on his special friends. One flagrant favorite was even given the queen's jewelry--but Mrs. Plantagenet evidently was the lesser queen of the two.

The nobles, embracing medieval family values, murdered that particular favorite. But Edward II did not seem to get the hint. He just found new boy toys and the worst was Hugh Despenser. Hugh was not content being lavished with estates; he stole them as well. He used the king's infatuation as a royal license to embezzle and extort. If the nobility was already hostile about "the lifestyle", it really resented being robbed. The nobles organized a coup in 1321 and forced Edward to banish Despenser.

In exile, Despenser found gainful employment as a pirate, and he had time to consider the errors of his ways. He should have terrorized or murdered his victims instead of just robbing them. He wouldn't make that mistake again. All he needed was a second chance, and that occurred after one year.

The nobles be damned. Edward missed his Hugh and recalled him from exile, fully indulging his favorite's greedy and vindictive whims. The nobles who had ousted Despenser now were hunted down. The Earl of Lancaster was beheaded; he was lucky enough to be a member of the Royal Family and was spared public disembowelment. The Queen herself had only looked askew at Despenser; so she was merely dispossessed of all her estates. She understandably resented that, went home to France and plotted a rebellion with exiled English nobles. (One of them, the Earl of March, even became her lover. Be fair: the woman was certainly entitled.)

The Queen, her Earl and their army landed in England in 1326. Their public intention was to rid the realm of Despenser. The rebellion also had a more discreet goal: to get rid of the King as well. If the lack of any resistance is any indication, the rebellion was more than welcome. Since Despenser was not of royal blood, his public disembowelment was permissible--and very popular. It occurred on this day in 1326. (The King's death in 1327 was a private affair--except that his screams could be heard over a considerable distance.)

The throne passed to Edward III; somebody got the Queen pregnant. And the new King was said to look like a Plantagenet. (Perhaps Edward II had closed his eyes and made the effort for England.)

British historians recently compiled an interesting list: the worst Englishmen of the last thousand years. Of course, Hugh Despenser made the list. In fact, he made the top ten and was named the worst Englishman of the 14th century.

Eugene

Yes, of course I'm descended from Edward II and Longshanks too.

Hugh is my something-great-grand-uncle.

EugeneF wrote:

ontellen wrote:As if this all wasn't a coincidence the said General Bernadotte was married to Napoleon's first girlfriend, Dersiree Clary, a Marseilles silk merchant's daughter. He dumped her when he met Josephine. She then married Bernadotte who was approached by the Swedish government to be adopted by their mad king. So, even Napoleon's jilted girlfriend became the founder of a royal dynasty.

Geez, I love this stuff.

Hollywood thought that this story would make a good movie. Marlon Brando played Napoleon (and Brando was said to hate the role), Merle Oberon was Josephine, Michael Rennie was Bernadotte, and Jeanne Simmons had the title role of "Desiree".

Eugene

Etaoin thought this would make a good FNGD question.

Based on the fact that Desiree peaked at #94 among American girl baby names, a bit after the movie.

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=7753&p=81980&hilit=desiree#p81980

etaoin22 wrote:

EugeneF wrote:

ontellen wrote:As if this all wasn't a coincidence the said General Bernadotte was married to Napoleon's first girlfriend, Dersiree Clary, a Marseilles silk merchant's daughter. He dumped her when he met Josephine. She then married Bernadotte who was approached by the Swedish government to be adopted by their mad king. So, even Napoleon's jilted girlfriend became the founder of a royal dynasty.

Geez, I love this stuff.

Hollywood thought that this story would make a good movie. Marlon Brando played Napoleon (and Brando was said to hate the role), Merle Oberon was Josephine, Michael Rennie was Bernadotte, and Jeanne Simmons had the title role of "Desiree".

Eugene

Etaoin thought this would make a good FNGD question.

Based on the fact that Desiree peaked at #94 among American girl baby names, a bit after the movie.

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=7753&p=81980&hilit=desiree#p81980

I think Desiree peaked a lot higher than #94 at most strip clubs.

Bob Juch wrote:

tlynn78 wrote:

Has anyone seen Eugene and wintergreen in the same place at the same time?

And how are all these people related to BobJ?


t.

In no way that I know of.

If you want a great story though, look up the story of my something-great-grandmother Queen Isabella and Roger Mortimer.

I just finished a book by Allison Weir about Queen Isabella. It was very interesting and was by far the most sympathetic biography that I have read about her.

SportsFan68 wrote:That book is now I knew the answer to a Millionaire Q about Marat getting stabbed in the bathtub -- someone describes the murder to Desiree. One of our teachers let us use the book as a "classic" for purposes of a book report because it was so long, and I guess because it was full of history, and all the girls jumped on that.

I knew the answer to that question (I think it was about the painting The Death of Marat) because I'd read The Eight by Katherine Neville, in which one of the characters is the woman who did the stabbing. --Bob

SportsFan68 wrote:

EugeneF wrote:

ontellen wrote:As if this all wasn't a coincidence the said General Bernadotte was married to Napoleon's first girlfriend, Dersiree Clary, a Marseilles silk merchant's daughter. He dumped her when he met Josephine. She then married Bernadotte who was approached by the Swedish government to be adopted by their mad king. So, even Napoleon's jilted girlfriend became the founder of a royal dynasty.

Geez, I love this stuff.

Hollywood thought that this story would make a good movie. Marlon Brandon played Napoleon (and Brandon was said to hate the role), Merle Oberon was Josephine, Michael Rennie was Bernadotte, and Jeanne Simmons had the title role of "Desiree".

Eugene

I saw this on the late show about a million years ago, and the only scene I can remember is the very last one, where Desiree talks Napoleon into giving up some kind of important sword before he goes off to Helena.

The movie followed the book fairly closely -- Desiree by Annemarie Selinko. I loved that book when I was a kid, I thought it was so romantic, not just boring history. That book is now I knew the answer to a Millionaire Q about Marat getting stabbed in the bathtub -- someone describes the murder to Desiree. One of our teachers let us use the book as a "classic" for purposes of a book report because it was so long, and I guess because it was full of history, and all the girls jumped on that. It was like Gone with the Wind, we were reading it anyway. Funny, she didn't let us use Gone with the Wind as a "classic."

I still have this book! I read it in 6th or 7th grade after I found it in a box of my Mom's old books.

I remember getting all excited later on when Desiree was on the afternoon Dialing for Dollars or something because, up until then, I had no idea there was a movie made from it (back in the days before imdb and all, when you had to hope that the tv station ran the end credits on a movie if you wanted to see who played a particular character).

Like Ellen, I didn't care too much for the movie, even though I loved Marlon Brando in general. (General? Get it? Ha!) Maybe it's just because the book was so damned good that no movie could measure up.

Sisyphean Fan wrote: Like Ellen, I didn't care too much for the movie, even though I loved Marlon Brando in general. (General? Get it? Ha!) Maybe it's just because the book was so damned good that no movie could measure up.

I don't remember the movie being that bad; OTOH, all I can remember is the last scene.