Out to buy porn and go bowling
Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:32 pm
I don't think in my life I ever thought I'd be saying those particular words in that order.
I'm in a Tuesday night league. I'm in that league because I thought I was going to be in a Thursday night league - when I had a bowling party for my 40th Margy told a now-former coworker (he got laid off the same day she did, it turns out) about it and he asked if I was interested in joining his team. I was so psyched I went right out and bought shoes and a ball and everything. Turned out he was asking me to be a sub on his team not a regular, so I had to find a regular league, but I'm also a sub on the Thursday night. I feel like a junkie scoring an extra fix on weeks they need me.
One thing I did not know before this year is that it's a tradition in men's leagues to have a deck of cards. Every time you get a strike or spare you take a card. At the end of each game everyone throws in a buck and whoever can make the best poker hand out of their cards wins the $5. And they're always nekkid-lady cards. (And not the "trying to be tasteful" kind. These are raunchy.)
My regular team doesn't do this, but a couple of teams in that league do. Just about every team in my sub league does it, including mine. It seems to be a widespread tradition, at least on the North Side of Chicago. Last time I bowled in the sub league was 3 weeks ago. That weekend it was Mrs Fly's turn to do laundry and she found a nekkid lady playing card in my shirt pocket. I am very thankful that I'm married to the type of woman who is amused by such things rather than appalled.
It was my plan to bring it back next time, but now I can't find it. So now I have to find a place to buy a new deck.
You'd think sleazy porn would be easy to come by in a city like Chicago. And it probably is, but I have no idea where to look. Mrs. Fly suggested 7-11. I hope she's right. I know they have sleazy magazines. I can't wait to walk in and ask the guy if he has nekkid-lady cards.
It's a strange life where you ask your wife for advice on where to go buy pornography.
I'm in a Tuesday night league. I'm in that league because I thought I was going to be in a Thursday night league - when I had a bowling party for my 40th Margy told a now-former coworker (he got laid off the same day she did, it turns out) about it and he asked if I was interested in joining his team. I was so psyched I went right out and bought shoes and a ball and everything. Turned out he was asking me to be a sub on his team not a regular, so I had to find a regular league, but I'm also a sub on the Thursday night. I feel like a junkie scoring an extra fix on weeks they need me.
One thing I did not know before this year is that it's a tradition in men's leagues to have a deck of cards. Every time you get a strike or spare you take a card. At the end of each game everyone throws in a buck and whoever can make the best poker hand out of their cards wins the $5. And they're always nekkid-lady cards. (And not the "trying to be tasteful" kind. These are raunchy.)
My regular team doesn't do this, but a couple of teams in that league do. Just about every team in my sub league does it, including mine. It seems to be a widespread tradition, at least on the North Side of Chicago. Last time I bowled in the sub league was 3 weeks ago. That weekend it was Mrs Fly's turn to do laundry and she found a nekkid lady playing card in my shirt pocket. I am very thankful that I'm married to the type of woman who is amused by such things rather than appalled.
It was my plan to bring it back next time, but now I can't find it. So now I have to find a place to buy a new deck.
You'd think sleazy porn would be easy to come by in a city like Chicago. And it probably is, but I have no idea where to look. Mrs. Fly suggested 7-11. I hope she's right. I know they have sleazy magazines. I can't wait to walk in and ask the guy if he has nekkid-lady cards.
It's a strange life where you ask your wife for advice on where to go buy pornography.
