Cold in Richmond
Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:08 am
Curse that global warming: Richmond, where I'm located had its biggest snow in many years Sunday & Monday we got 10 inches in some places. And this morning, the low was 11 degrees (old record low temperature for the date was 16 degrees). Brrrr…
So how cold is it (keeping in mind that this is the South, for heaven's sake)?
It was so cold that... we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues.
It was so cold that... hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs.
It was so cold that... roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker.
It was so cold that... when I dialed 911, a recorded message said to phone back in the spring.
It was so cold that... the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It was so cold that... kids were using a new excuse to stay up late: "But Mom, my pajamas haven't thawed out yet!"
It was so cold that... the travel agency was advertising tropical vacations in Igloolik.
It was so cold that... pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets just to keep them warm.
It was so cold that... the evil squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence.
It was so cold that... I chipped a tooth on my soup.
It was so cold that... Grandpa’s teeth were chattering - in the glass.
It was so cold that... Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick.
It was so cold that... the rats were bribing the alley cats for a snuggle.
It was so cold that... we had to chop up the piano for firewood - but we only got two chords.
It was so cold that... we had to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our parkas.
It was so cold that... kids stopped worrying about acne. The new problem - goosepimples.
It was so cold that... words froze in the air. If you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire.
It was so cold that... the dogs had to put jumper cables on the rabbits - just to get them running.
It was so cold that... the naughty picture magazines magazine stopped publishing because no women would take their clothes off.
It was so cold that... we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up.
It was so cold that... the Husky Association was making emergency service calls to get the dog teams started. Then... when we parked the sled, we either had to plug in the dogs - or keep them running in place.
So how cold is it (keeping in mind that this is the South, for heaven's sake)?
It was so cold that... we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues.
It was so cold that... hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs.
It was so cold that... roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker.
It was so cold that... when I dialed 911, a recorded message said to phone back in the spring.
It was so cold that... the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It was so cold that... kids were using a new excuse to stay up late: "But Mom, my pajamas haven't thawed out yet!"
It was so cold that... the travel agency was advertising tropical vacations in Igloolik.
It was so cold that... pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets just to keep them warm.
It was so cold that... the evil squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence.
It was so cold that... I chipped a tooth on my soup.
It was so cold that... Grandpa’s teeth were chattering - in the glass.
It was so cold that... Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick.
It was so cold that... the rats were bribing the alley cats for a snuggle.
It was so cold that... we had to chop up the piano for firewood - but we only got two chords.
It was so cold that... we had to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our parkas.
It was so cold that... kids stopped worrying about acne. The new problem - goosepimples.
It was so cold that... words froze in the air. If you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire.
It was so cold that... the dogs had to put jumper cables on the rabbits - just to get them running.
It was so cold that... the naughty picture magazines magazine stopped publishing because no women would take their clothes off.
It was so cold that... we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up.
It was so cold that... the Husky Association was making emergency service calls to get the dog teams started. Then... when we parked the sled, we either had to plug in the dogs - or keep them running in place.
