Settled in
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 9:52 am
I've set up shop in our entertainment room. Listening to a favorite radio station to try and win Elton John/Billy Joel concert tickets. Laptop is plugged in and logged in here (the latter being a "master of the obvious" quote). The Chub is curled up next to me and purring, occasionally looking up at me and meowing to get a neck scritch. TV and radio remotes are within easy reach, as are the books I'm reading. TV will be on just for news and WWTBAM viewing.
Gotta keep out of the kitchen and out of the fridge and other snacks. Can't do my normal exercises for a while. That's frustrating. I had readjusted my morning routine just last week to get in another fifteen minutes of elliptical work. Because of that, I was about to reach the quarter-million point mark on the President's Challenge thingie. That has been postponed.
With apologies to Jay, I must share this one.
Artie the hitman was negotiating a job. The husband had taken out a large insurance policy on his wife, and wanted Artie to do the dirty work. Artie told him it would cost $5000. Hubby said fine, I'll pay you when you finish. Artie said no, I want some money up front. Hubby offers $1. With a sigh (times are tough all over), Artie agrees.
He catches up with the wife in the local Whole Foods store, gets her alone in the produce aisle and proceeds to strangle her. Just as she's drawing her last breath, the produce manager shows up. Not wanting to leave a witness, Artie strangles him, too. Unfortunately, there's a security camera that catches it all on video, someone calls the police and the hitman is arrested.
The next day's headline:
Gotta keep out of the kitchen and out of the fridge and other snacks. Can't do my normal exercises for a while. That's frustrating. I had readjusted my morning routine just last week to get in another fifteen minutes of elliptical work. Because of that, I was about to reach the quarter-million point mark on the President's Challenge thingie. That has been postponed.
With apologies to Jay, I must share this one.
Artie the hitman was negotiating a job. The husband had taken out a large insurance policy on his wife, and wanted Artie to do the dirty work. Artie told him it would cost $5000. Hubby said fine, I'll pay you when you finish. Artie said no, I want some money up front. Hubby offers $1. With a sigh (times are tough all over), Artie agrees.
He catches up with the wife in the local Whole Foods store, gets her alone in the produce aisle and proceeds to strangle her. Just as she's drawing her last breath, the produce manager shows up. Not wanting to leave a witness, Artie strangles him, too. Unfortunately, there's a security camera that catches it all on video, someone calls the police and the hitman is arrested.
The next day's headline:
Spoiler
Artie Chokes Two for a Dollar At Whole Foods