Taunting

Message

wintergreen48 · #1 Post by **wintergreen48** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:12 am

When I logged onto the system at work yesterday morning, I got a pop-up message 'Your password will expire in 5 days. Do you want to change your password now?'

'Hmmm...,' I thought, 'my JOB will expire in 6 days. Do I want to bother with this crap now?'

Senior Management has decided that Management That is Not Senior sometimes gets screwed on some of the 401k stuff, and they are opening up the Deferred Compensation Plan for those of us who happen to be members of 'Management That Is Not Senior. The enrollment period starts next Monday. My last day is Tuesday...

Capital One has a pretty good health plan, and traditionally we have enrolled as 'Self,' or as 'Self and Spouse/Partner' (we allow 'Domestic Partnerships') or as 'Family' (which is everything else). I have always been enrolled in 'Family.' What they have found is that adults cost a lot more than children, so they have divided 'Family' into two categories, one of which is 'Self, Spouse/Partner and Children' (in effect, the 'traditional' family arrangement) and the other is 'Self and Children' (in effect, the single parent arrangement). The 'Self and Children' category costs half what the old 'Family' category costs (the 'Self, Spouse/Partner and Children' category is the same as the old 'Family'), and we are doing open enrollment now. Wow, all that money I would be saving... if I were still here next year.

Capital One has an annual 'Holiday Bake Off,' kind of a cooking contest which we run every year. I participate in the Bake Off each year, and if I were not so modest, I would identify the person who wins each year, but I am in fact the most modest and humble person you know, so I won't identify him, but you would recognize the name. Well. I just got the invitation for this year's Holiday Bake Off. It's next Thursday. Two days after I am gone.

I know they are doing this on purpose.

On the other hand, as part of the cost curtailment program, they just took the mouthwash dispensers out of the Men's Room (I really do not want to think about why they had mouthwash in the Men's Room in the first place, thank you very much) so not EVERYthing is a bed of roses for Those Who Remain.

peacock2121 · #2 Post by **peacock2121** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:14 am

They will miss you.

We will be happy to have more of you.

Mouthwash or not.

peacock2121 · #3 Post by **peacock2121** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:15 am

Oh - send a baked good anyway.

Even if it is just to screw with them.

peacock2121 · #4 Post by **peacock2121** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:16 am

Hey!

Make it something bad - really bad - like use salt in place of sugar or something!

I crack myself up.

Bob Juch · #5 Post by **Bob Juch** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:20 am

So what are your new employment options looking like?

PlacentiaSoccerMom · #6 Post by **PlacentiaSoccerMom** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:21 am

Or you can make chocolate Ex-Lax cookies.

kayrharris · #7 Post by **kayrharris** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:10 am

I like PSM's suggestion.

peacock2121 · #8 Post by **peacock2121** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:19 am

I like marijuana better.

Can you imagine - stoned bankers doing their job?

PlacentiaSoccerMom · #9 Post by **PlacentiaSoccerMom** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:27 am

peacock2121 wrote:I like marijuana better.

Can you imagine - stoned bankers doing their job?

The idea of marijuana is good, but if you get caught, the consequences are worse. Chocolate ExLax can be an accident. You could also substitute Metamucil for flour.

peacock2121 · #10 Post by **peacock2121** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:29 am

PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:
peacock2121 wrote:I like marijuana better.

Can you imagine - stoned bankers doing their job?
The idea of marijuana is good, but if you get caught, the consequences are worse. Chocolate ExLax can be an accident. You could also substitute Metamucil for flour.

Just make sure they are all gone.

No evidence.

Chronic Diarrhea · #11 Post by **Chronic Diarrhea** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:29 am

PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:Or you can make chocolate Ex-Lax cookies.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ShitSandwich · #12 Post by **ShitSandwich** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:34 am

I've got an idea for that "Holiday Bake Off", wintergreen....