Working Up a Good Hate ;-P
Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 11:19 pm
Hating Baltimore, Cleveland or Dallas comes naturally.
But Pittsburgh Steelers fans might need to dig a little deeper to discover their inner dislike for Super Bowl XLIII foe Arizona.
As the runup to the big game picks up steam, we’re here to help, with these seven reasons to hate Arizona and its Cardinals.
1. No trees.
Where would a real cardinal live in Arizona? On a cactus? C’mon, this team name is as misplaced as the Utah Jazz. The franchise should have picked a new name — say, the Arizona Tumbleweeds — instead of clinging desperately to its lineage as the St. Louis Cardinals, and before that the Chicago Cardinals and Racine Cardinals.
2. No daylight-saving time.Arizonans doesn’t recognize daylight-saving time. Due to smugness or laziness, they refuse to “spring forward” or “fall back” like the rest of us, missing out on the twice-a-year joy of resetting every clock radio, car radio, microwave clock and wall clock they own.
3. Seasons don’t change.
Western Pennsylvanians savor the beauty of spring, the crisp air of fall, the hopes of a white Christmas, and that sunny, warm stretch of summer that lasts here about three weeks. What does Arizona have: Yearlong scorching heat. But it’s a dry heat, eh?
4. Worst. Episode. Ever.
That episode of “The Brady Bunch” when the family visits the Grand Canyon in Arizona. At least the Hawaii episode had surfing and a big nasty spider.
5. Last in firsts.
Western Pennsylvania inventors gave the world banana splits, Big Macs, bingo, radio, a polio vaccine, PBS television, Internet emoticons, the Ferris wheel, and sandwiches slathered in slaw and fries.
Arizona’s contribution to the world: the first bolo tie.
6. Cooties.
Arizona’s backup quarterback, Matt Leinart, dated Paris Hilton.
7. Bimbos.
Meet the Arizona Cardinal cheerleaders: Alix, Brittani, Brittany, Angie B., Angie C., Dana B., Dana S., Jennalee, Megan F., Megan J., Latoya, Neeley, Shandie, Tamar, Whitney C. and Whitney W., and a few others who dot their “I’s” with smiley faces. Do we really need all that exposed, taut flesh jiggling and gyrating on the sidelines? This is a football game, not a gentlemen’s club.
Yinz don’t see any Steelers cheerleaders, do yinz?
But Pittsburgh Steelers fans might need to dig a little deeper to discover their inner dislike for Super Bowl XLIII foe Arizona.
As the runup to the big game picks up steam, we’re here to help, with these seven reasons to hate Arizona and its Cardinals.
1. No trees.
Where would a real cardinal live in Arizona? On a cactus? C’mon, this team name is as misplaced as the Utah Jazz. The franchise should have picked a new name — say, the Arizona Tumbleweeds — instead of clinging desperately to its lineage as the St. Louis Cardinals, and before that the Chicago Cardinals and Racine Cardinals.
2. No daylight-saving time.Arizonans doesn’t recognize daylight-saving time. Due to smugness or laziness, they refuse to “spring forward” or “fall back” like the rest of us, missing out on the twice-a-year joy of resetting every clock radio, car radio, microwave clock and wall clock they own.
3. Seasons don’t change.
Western Pennsylvanians savor the beauty of spring, the crisp air of fall, the hopes of a white Christmas, and that sunny, warm stretch of summer that lasts here about three weeks. What does Arizona have: Yearlong scorching heat. But it’s a dry heat, eh?
4. Worst. Episode. Ever.
That episode of “The Brady Bunch” when the family visits the Grand Canyon in Arizona. At least the Hawaii episode had surfing and a big nasty spider.
5. Last in firsts.
Western Pennsylvania inventors gave the world banana splits, Big Macs, bingo, radio, a polio vaccine, PBS television, Internet emoticons, the Ferris wheel, and sandwiches slathered in slaw and fries.
Arizona’s contribution to the world: the first bolo tie.
6. Cooties.
Arizona’s backup quarterback, Matt Leinart, dated Paris Hilton.
7. Bimbos.
Meet the Arizona Cardinal cheerleaders: Alix, Brittani, Brittany, Angie B., Angie C., Dana B., Dana S., Jennalee, Megan F., Megan J., Latoya, Neeley, Shandie, Tamar, Whitney C. and Whitney W., and a few others who dot their “I’s” with smiley faces. Do we really need all that exposed, taut flesh jiggling and gyrating on the sidelines? This is a football game, not a gentlemen’s club.
Yinz don’t see any Steelers cheerleaders, do yinz?
I always buy Mom cardinal-themed stuff for Christmas & her birthday -- placemats, wind-chimes, figurines, etc....
