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signs

Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:48 pm
by ulysses5019
Signs over a Gynecologist's Office:

>> 'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> In a Podiatrist's office:
>>
>> 'Time wounds all heels.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On a Septic Tank Truck:
>>
>> Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> At a Proctologist's door:
>>
>> 'To expedite your visit please back in.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On a Plumber's truck:
>>
>> 'We repair what your husband fixed.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On another Plumber's truck:
>>
>> 'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On a Church's Billboard:
>>
>> '7 days without God makes one weak.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee :
>>
>> 'Invite us to your next blowout.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> At a Towing company:
>>
>> 'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On an Electrician's truck:
>>
>> 'Let us remove your shorts.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> In a Non-smoking Area:
>>
>> 'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate
>> action.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On a Maternity Room door:
>>
>> 'Push. Push. Push.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> At an Optometrist's Office:
>>
>> 'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right
>> place.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On a Taxidermist's window:
>>
>> 'We really know our stuff.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On a Fence:
>>
>> 'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> At a Car Dealership:
>>
>> 'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> Outside an Exhaust Fitting Shop:
>>
'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
>>
>> 'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> At the Electric Company
>>
>> 'We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
>>
>> However, if you don't, you will be.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> In a Restaurant window:
>>
>> 'Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
>>
>> 'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'

Re: signs

Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:54 pm
by Rexer25
ulysses5019 wrote:Signs over a Gynecologist's Office:


>>
>> At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee :
>>
>> 'Invite us to your next blowout.'
>>
Are we to assume this is the Milwaukee just north of Trent-on-Blasingstoke, in Worleiceiceishire County?

Re: signs

Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:08 pm
by o-man
Rexer25 wrote:
ulysses5019 wrote:Signs over a Gynecologist's Office:


>>
>> At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee :
>>
>> 'Invite us to your next blowout.'
>>
Are we to assume this is the Milwaukee just north of Trent-on-Blasingstoke, in Worleiceiceishire County?
Nah. Just big fans of Kerouac's On the Road.

P.S. I think of Dean Moriarty.

Re: signs

Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:16 pm
by frogman042
I once went to a 7-11 after putting on a brand new shirt and a new pair of shoes. The store worker told me that I had to leave. I asked why and I was directed to read the sign at the entrance:

"Shirts and Shoes must be worn"

---Jay

Re: signs

Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:17 pm
by silvercamaro
The only place I've actually ever seen a sign that said "Tyre Shop" was in the small city of Dorking, from the window of a tourist bus while passing through on the way toward Stratford-Upon-Avon.

I've always loved the name Dorking, because it sounds like a great way to kill time.

"What have you been doing?"
"Not much. Just dorking around."

Re: signs

Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:38 pm
by jaybee
I was considered a dork when in High school.

Sometimes, I think my kids still feel that way.

Re: signs

Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 3:57 am
by secondchance
At a Photography Studio:

"We (heart) to flash!"


:P