WWTBAM Bored

Forget Rednecks
......here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about New Englanders...


If your local Dairy Queen is closed from October through April , you live in New England



If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in New England .



If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England



If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England



If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend, you live in New England.



If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England



If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in New England



If you have switche d from 'heat ' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you live in New England .



If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow dur ing a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in New England






If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in New England .



If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you
live in New England .



If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live
in New England



If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 70 and everybody is passing you, you live in New England




If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with sno w, you live in New England .



If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction, you live in New England .



If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in New
England



If you find 20 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in New England .



If there's a Dunkin Donuts on every corner, you live in New England .







If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your New England friends & others, you live in New England

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction, you live in New England .

Reader's Digest attributed this to Minnesota! They had jokes about all 50 states this month. Montana's cracked me up because it was soooo t-girl..........

All true, except the first one. Our DQ is open all year (probably for the college students).

Several of these bolster the argument that northeastern New York is actually part of New England.

signed,
A Troll who lives 4 hours from the southern Maine coast.

Montana's cracked me up because it was soooo t-girl..........

Hey! You know I can hear you, right?


t.

tlynn78 wrote:

Montana's cracked me up because it was soooo t-girl..........

Hey! You know I can hear you, right?


t.

Yes, but it was a compliment! Here's the Montana joke:

Montana
Four women are driving across the country together, each one from a different state: Idaho, Nebraska, Montana, and California. Shortly after the trip begins, the woman from Idaho pulls potatoes from her bag and throws them out the window. "What are you doing?" asks the Nebraskan.
"We have so many of these things in Idaho, I'm sick of looking at them."
A moment later, the gal from Nebraska pulls ears of corn from her bag and tosses them from the window. "What are you doing?" asks the gal from Montana.
"We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I'm sick of looking at them."
Inspired, the Montanan opens the car door and kicks the Californian out.

And a link to all 50:

http://www.rd.com/clean-jokes-and-laugh ... 11765.html

Montana
Four women are driving across the country together, each one from a different state: Idaho, Nebraska, Montana, and California. Shortly after the trip begins, the woman from Idaho pulls potatoes from her bag and throws them out the window. "What are you doing?" asks the Nebraskan.
"We have so many of these things in Idaho, I'm sick of looking at them."
A moment later, the gal from Nebraska pulls ears of corn from her bag and tosses them from the window. "What are you doing?" asks the gal from Montana.
"We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I'm sick of looking at them."
Inspired, the Montanan opens the car door and kicks the Californian out.

Well, that's quite all right, then. How'd they find out about that little incident, anyway?

t.