WWTBAM Bored

I have a problem.

The Naughty Norwegian and I are trying to elope, and we're pretty attached to the place where we've decided to do this. We've been scratching our heads for months about when/where to do this and just couldn't come up with anything that felt 'right' until the atlas fell open to this place. This country has some pretty intense document requirements, though, and the person coordinating everything for us there was highly skeptical that we could pull it off in the time frame we were looking at. We were well on our way toward proving her wrong, though, until my most recent call to the consulate here.

Turns out that this country requires that all documents have the same name on them. The problem is with NN's name. He was born in the US and obviously has a US birth certificate. At age 7, his last name was changed to that of his step-father's (not through adoption, though he did adopt him at a much later date). He never had any need or reason to have his birth certificate changed to reflect the other name, especially considering that he grew up in Europe and has never needed to produce a birth certificate for anything. I guess they aren't as commonly used for ID purposes elsewhere.

Soo...the birth certificate has one name. All other documents/passports/etc have the other name. We got a document from the Norwegian consulate in NYC certifying the name change and thought that would be sufficient, but apparently it is not enough. The consul from the country in which we hope to marry has said that she will not accept it, and we HAVE to go through that woman specifically to get to the next step in the paperwork parade.

We've come too far in this ridiculousness to give up now, and reallyreallyreally want to make this happen if it is at all possible. So my question is this: what would it take to amend his birth certificate to reflect his legal name? The consul said that is the only way she will accept it. Is it out of bounds nutso and ridiculous to think it could be done in a week just before Thanksgiving? (cue maniacal laughing....) Would it have to be done in NY courts or could it be accomplished here in OH?

Thanks...

IANAL and I can't offer any help with your problem. I presume it is not Thanksgiving week in whatever country you're trying to get to and that this consular official will feel quite confident standing firm. She's not the one hoping to be married next week.

But I do have an observation: Aren't elopements supposed to be more spontaneous than this?

Have you contacted the New York Department of Health

http://www.health.state.ny.us/vital_records/

I'd call them and ask, New York City has a separate office.

Its the department of vital statistics that amends birth certificates, not the courts. If the NN had been born in South Carolina I coulda helped you.

There is lots of information on the web for amending a birth certificate after gender reassignment surgery, but that was not especially helpful.

TMITSSS seems to have directed you in the proper manner.

I am surprised that he did not get a new certificate upon his adoption, but it might be a newer thing and only used for abandoned children. When we adopted our older two, we got birth certificates that listed us as the parents.

However, I would be amazed if the Bureau of Vital Statistics turned around a certificate application within a week, especially around a holiday.

I thought eloping was supposed to be a surprise.


It matters not where you elope.


It matters that you are marrying Nina's father. You're showing her that her father is worthy of the commitment of marriage.


I'm sure that I'm not the only one here that wants to know what country you all are planning your nuptuals in. At least give us a hint.

I hope the red tape can be handled so that you can have your wedding where you want it to be.

Weddings seem to bring out unsolicited opinions about all sorts of things.

Don't you worry about those who might not think about the way their opinions might land.

peacock2121 wrote: Weddings seem to bring out unsolicited opinions about all sorts of things.

Don't you worry about those who might not think about the way their opinions might land.

Ouch!

Have Tocque and I been chastised for our lighthearted, unsolicited opinions about elopements? I don't see anything egregious in Appa's post to warrant pea's wrath.

I totally want to elope! But I want to do the island thing and their requirements are quite easy, I don't remember the specifics but it's something to the effect of just having to be there for 3 days prior to the ceremony. No problemo. Or I could go to a US owned island with no issue.

But I don't know legally what you can do in your situation, I just wanted to wish you the best of luck and fingers crossed early congratulations, you go girl!! Do what you need to in order to get married where you want to!! It's your day and not anyone else's...

Oh I just thought to ask, have you thought about trying the Norwegian consulate again? Maybe if that consulate call's the other country's consulate, it will be more likely to work than you calling? Just a thought, if time is of the essence it might be worth a try. Or maybe they can help you with some tips that the rest of us wouldn't know about?

Which country is it, MMFF? I'll buy it for you....

MarleysGh0st wrote:

peacock2121 wrote: Weddings seem to bring out unsolicited opinions about all sorts of things.

Don't you worry about those who might not think about the way their opinions might land.

Ouch!

Have Tocque and I been chastised for our lighthearted, unsolicited opinions about elopements?

Apparently, we have.

MarleysGh0st wrote:

peacock2121 wrote: Weddings seem to bring out unsolicited opinions about all sorts of things.

Don't you worry about those who might not think about the way their opinions might land.

Ouch!

Have Tocque and I been chastised for our lighthearted, unsolicited opinions about elopements? I don't see anything egregious in Appa's post to warrant pea's wrath.

You were not being chastised.

Nor was tocque. My post was prompted by her opinion about what mmff should do and why she should do it.

Tocqueville3 wrote:

MarleysGh0st wrote:

peacock2121 wrote: Weddings seem to bring out unsolicited opinions about all sorts of things.

Don't you worry about those who might not think about the way their opinions might land.

Ouch!

Have Tocque and I been chastised for our lighthearted, unsolicited opinions about elopements?

Apparently, we have.

Apparently not.

I appreciate Marley asking the question and not going on assuming.

peacock2121 wrote:

Tocqueville3 wrote:

MarleysGh0st wrote: Ouch!

Have Tocque and I been chastised for our lighthearted, unsolicited opinions about elopements?

Apparently, we have.

Apparently not.

I appreciate Marley asking the question and not going on assuming.

How was I assuming?

Tocqueville3 wrote:

peacock2121 wrote:

Tocqueville3 wrote: Apparently, we have.

Apparently not.

I appreciate Marley asking the question and not going on assuming.

How was I assuming?

I thought about it. I was being really tacky. MMFF should go wherever she pleases to elope. She's entitled to have her elopement go the way she wants it. And she's entitled to not having my opinions and questions shoved in her face. I had my wedding go pretty much the way I wanted. I'm just reeeeeeeally curious as to where she and her fiance' are going. Some have to live vicariously.

MMFF, if I was being a horse's patoot, I am really sorry. Humility isn't my strong suit.

Red tape is a real beyotch. I hope it gets all cleared up very fast. I can understand not wanting to wait. As Billy Crystal says in When Harry Met Sally..."When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you want the rest of your life to start right now."

marrymeflyfree wrote:I have a problem.

The Naughty Norwegian and I are trying to elope, and we're pretty attached to the place where we've decided to do this. We've been scratching our heads for months about when/where to do this and just couldn't come up with anything that felt 'right' until the atlas fell open to this place. This country has some pretty intense document requirements, though, and the person coordinating everything for us there was highly skeptical that we could pull it off in the time frame we were looking at. We were well on our way toward proving her wrong, though, until my most recent call to the consulate here.

Turns out that this country requires that all documents have the same name on them. The problem is with NN's name. He was born in the US and obviously has a US birth certificate. At age 7, his last name was changed to that of his step-father's (not through adoption, though he did adopt him at a much later date). He never had any need or reason to have his birth certificate changed to reflect the other name, especially considering that he grew up in Europe and has never needed to produce a birth certificate for anything. I guess they aren't as commonly used for ID purposes elsewhere.

Soo...the birth certificate has one name. All other documents/passports/etc have the other name. We got a document from the Norwegian consulate in NYC certifying the name change and thought that would be sufficient, but apparently it is not enough. The consul from the country in which we hope to marry has said that she will not accept it, and we HAVE to go through that woman specifically to get to the next step in the paperwork parade.

We've come too far in this ridiculousness to give up now, and reallyreallyreally want to make this happen if it is at all possible. So my question is this: what would it take to amend his birth certificate to reflect his legal name? The consul said that is the only way she will accept it. Is it out of bounds nutso and ridiculous to think it could be done in a week just before Thanksgiving? (cue maniacal laughing....) Would it have to be done in NY courts or could it be accomplished here in OH?

Thanks...

There's one other possibility, though I don't know whether it will accomplish your personal goals. Unless you're specifically attempting to have the legal ceremony in your chosen locale, is it possible to arrange a spiritual/religious/cultural marriage ceremony there, even though it may not have the force of law? If so, couple that ceremony with a simple civil ceremony here to create a binding marriage in the U.S. and you'll probably end up where you wanted to be.

Given the usual pace of paperwork in bureaucracies, that may be as close as it's possible to come to your goal. In any event, I hope that whatever occurs is a source of joyous memories for your family for years to come. --Bob