WWTBAM Bored

Maddie is doing a play at school with many older kids.

She told me that two of the cast members were having sex in the theater and three kids were caught kissing each other backstage during the play.

I told her that if I ever heard about her doing these things, I would kill her.

She says that she wouldn't, but she enjoys hearing about the drama.

The cast members having sex in the theater are still in the play? I hope they have understudies to take their place. Is this for a grade or just for fun and the experience? Kissing backstage sounds semi-normal for teenagers, but personally I think sex in the theater is a bit over the line.

I know Maddie has a good head on her shoulders, but it's still frightening knowing what's going on at a school play.

Yikes.

A student the other day was bemoaning a sixth-grader in her hometown who got pregnant. We agreed even though kids are doing things at younger ages than they used to doesn't mean they are growing up any earlier.

[quote="Ritterskoop"]Yikes.

A student the other day was bemoaning a sixth-grader in her hometown who got pregnant. We agreed even though kids are doing things at younger ages than they used to doesn't mean they are growing up any earlier.[/quote]

We have many grandparents raising their grandchildren in Colorado. And on the financial end, that way the daughter can have the baby on Mom's or Dad's insurance, and the baby will be covered the same way.

As for emotionally, I don't know. I don't want kids raising kids -- the ones I've seen are really bad at it -- but grandparents just don't have the energy they once did.

kayrharris wrote: I know Maddie has a good head on her shoulders, but it's still frightening knowing what's going on at a school play.

She made me promise not to tell the teacher or any of the parents because she didn't want the kids to get into trouble. I want her to feel like she can trust me, so I am not going to say anything.

I told her that when I was in high school, the kids who had sex didn't talk about it and if you heard that somebody had sex, you thought of them as being skanky. Maybe it's a bit puritanical, but it's certainly better than having sex in a public school in a semi-public space.

She loves drama, so I can't say that she can't do plays. Drama kids were semi-wild in my day, but I figured that it would be drugs that Maddie would be exposed to and not sex and she is way to sensible to get sucked into doing drugs. (We talked about it before she auditioned.)

She got the audition packet for the Spring Musical a few days ago. Unfortuately the musical has conflicts with both Quiz Bowl practice and Mock Trial practice, which is going to be a huge time commitment starting soon, so she is gradually realizing that she may not be able to do it, which is a sensible decision on her part. (Freshman don't usually get cast in Spring Musical, but we were told that about the Fall Play as well. ) I think that she wants to audition so that they see that she has the musical chops, but not get cast because of the time conflicts.

I hope you don't think I was implying Maddie should tell. I wasn't. I guess what I was trying to say was I knew she wouldn't be influenced by the behavior of some of her peers. I think if these kids keep up this kind of behavior, trouble can't be far behind. JMHO.

kayrharris wrote:I hope you don't think I was implying Maddie should tell. I wasn't. I guess what I was trying to say was I knew she wouldn't be influenced by the behavior of some of her peers. I think if these kids keep up this kind of behavior, trouble can't be far behind. JMHO.

I didn't think that at all.

I am tempted to say something, but I don't want to cause trouble for Maddie or betray her trust.

All I can say is that I hope these kids are using birth control and are protecting themselves from STDs.

OK, it's cool. You're doing the right thing. You can't betray the trust of your children. After all, she didn't even have to mention it to you. It says a lot that she did. Keep up the good work.

PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:

kayrharris wrote: I know Maddie has a good head on her shoulders, but it's still frightening knowing what's going on at a school play.

She made me promise not to tell the teacher or any of the parents because she didn't want the kids to get into trouble. I want her to feel like she can trust me, so I am not going to say anything.

I ask that you reconsider this. I ask that you consider the good that might come from alerting school personnel that this is happening on school grounds. I know there is a fine line to walk between being your daughter's friend and confidante and being the authority figure who will do the right thing. I also know that sometimes kids tell us things hoping we will do the right thing while asking us not to.

If your daughter was the one having sex and another mother knew about it, what would you want the other mother to do?

That was not a question I am asking you to answer here - just one I ask that you ask yourself as you reconsider your position.

I agree with pea.

As a parent, if a child comes up and says, "If I tell you something, will you promise you won't tell anyone else?" I would always answer, "No." One hsould never promise not to tell before hearing the news. What if the news was that one of your children's friends is being molested by someone? Are you really going to uphold the promise to the child? Of course not. If the behavior needs to be stopped (and in this case, the sex needs to be stopped), I don't see how a responsible adult can ignore it.

There's got to be some adult supervision somewhere. If kids like Maddie know about it, I would think the adults in charge would surely have a clue.
Maybe they don't care. These kids know what they're doing is wrong.

This might belong in Skoop's ethics thread. I see a big difference in kids being idiots and a child being molested. In that case, I think I could convince my child that the right thing would be to tell someone.