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I'm seeking 12 good men and women

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:53 am
by OJ Simpson
Who believe in the wonderful American justice system as much as I do.

Must be willing to serve on a jury and give up your normal life for upwards of 10 months in reward for a six figure book deal. Must be gullible and awestruck in the presence of huge megastars such as myself. Intelligence is not requirement, in fact, stupidity is a plus. No previous jury experience necessary.

Also seeking a competent attorney to successfully seek a change of venue to the Los Angeles area. Ethics not a must, and money is no object.

If you have what it takes to spring me out of my latest mess, please report to the Clark County Distruct Court building soon. Thank you for helping to set the Juice loose.

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 8:02 am
by gsabc
The Imelda Marcos jurors will be given priority status.

Re: I'm seeking 12 good men and women

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 8:05 am
by Judge Roy Bean
OJ Simpson wrote:Who believe in the wonderful American justice system as much as I do.

Must be willing to serve on a jury and give up your normal life for upwards of 10 months in reward for a six figure book deal. Must be gullible and awestruck in the presence of huge megastars such as myself. Intelligence is not requirement, in fact, stupidity is a plus. No previous jury experience necessary.

Also seeking a competent attorney to successfully seek a change of venue to the Los Angeles area. Ethics not a must, and money is no object.

If you have what it takes to spring me out of my latest mess, please report to the Clark County Distruct Court building soon. Thank you for helping to set the Juice loose.
I would be happy to participate in this test of my legal system. Since I am The Law West of the Pecos, you are in my jurisdiction, and I would do my best to preside over a fair and impartial trial, right up to the moment they throw your sorry self in jail, so help me FSM.

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 8:14 am
by PlacentiaSoccerMom
Two hours, thirty one minutes.

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 8:15 am
by Four Hour Stiffy
PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:Two hours, thirty one minutes.
Longer than that, honey!

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 10:04 am
by peacock2121
I'd go Al Capone on your ass.

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 10:07 am
by Rexer25
peacock2121 wrote:I'd go Al Capone on your ass.
What, you'd get him for tax evasion? 'splanation, pliz.

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:08 pm
by peacock2121
Rexer25 wrote:
peacock2121 wrote:I'd go Al Capone on your ass.
What, you'd get him for tax evasion? 'splanation, pliz.
I'd get him for whatever I could get him for and make him pay the ultimate for the crime that I could get him for.

They could get Capone for tax evasion, not for the crimes they really wanted to get him for.

Same for me with OJ - he got away with murder, is getting away with not paying his civil judgement, so I'd convict his ass for this - just cuz I could.

It would not be an ethical dilemma for me.

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:18 pm
by tlynn78
If you're gonna sit,




you must acquit.



t.

Re: I'm seeking 12 good men and women

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 6:14 pm
by Rodney_King_Juror
OJ Simpson wrote:Who believe in the wonderful American justice system as much as I do.

Must be willing to serve on a jury and give up your normal life for upwards of 10 months in reward for a six figure book deal. Must be gullible and awestruck in the presence of huge megastars such as myself. Intelligence is not requirement, in fact, stupidity is a plus. No previous jury experience necessary.
Where do I sign up?

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 9:09 pm
by SportsFan68
I saw an old Craig Kilpatrick last night with James Woods.

He described all the contact he ever had with OJ and how even that very limited contact coulda got him subpoenaed, but he wasn't, but he went to the trial anyway to buy a T-shirt (what a circus it must have been!), and a person who is now one of Shark's legal advisors hauled him up to the trial, where he almost had to shake hands with a murderer (Simpson), which he did not want to do, and a security guard stopped it, and Starstruck Ito hauled him back into chambers and proceeded to quiz him about show business!! What a circus!

This was pretty boring, huh? But I would listen to Woods read the phone book. Except he wouldn't read the phone book -- he'd riff on everything.

Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 12:31 am
by kayrharris
A true story that happened in Louisville. A creep is acquitted of murdering his girlfriend. Sells his house & the new owners remodel and find a roll of undeveloped film hidden in the floor somewhere.

Said roll of film has the torture and murder of the girlfriend recorded. No double jeopardy, but the feds were able to get him behind bars for a few years for perjury before a grand jury.

Wrongful acquittals do happen all the time!

http://www.enquirer.com/editions/2001/1 ... s_new.html

Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 6:50 am
by earendel
kayrharris wrote:A true story that happened in Louisville. A creep is acquitted of murdering his girlfriend. Sells his house & the new owners remodel and find a roll of undeveloped film hidden in the floor somewhere.

Said roll of film has the torture and murder of the girlfriend recorded. No double jeopardy, but the feds were able to get him behind bars for a few years for perjury before a grand jury.

Wrongful acquittals do happen all the time!

http://www.enquirer.com/editions/2001/1 ... s_new.html
Yeah, how well I remember that whole disaster. I was glad they were able to get him for something, but it was a far less punishment than he deserved.