WWTBAM Bored

“The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.”

Mark Twain

Mad Magazine.

I've discovered Mad to be the source of much insight about two-footers.

Miss Annie wins the prize! When and where would you like your elephant delivered?

Alan Greenspan

Now I will go look it up.

Mad Magazine!

It's not nearly as funny now.

Rexer25 wrote:Miss Annie wins the prize! When and where would you like your elephant delivered?

Hurray! Please send my elephant to the same address where you're shipping the pizza bones.

I always wanted an elephant of my very own. I will teach it to read.

/:P\

I'm WAGing Singer

AnnieCamaro wrote:

Rexer25 wrote:Miss Annie wins the prize! When and where would you like your elephant delivered?

Hurray! Please send my elephant to the same address where you're shipping the pizza bones.

I always wanted an elephant of my very own. I will teach it to read.

/:P\

I just ran out of hippos. Do you have any in stock?

Beebs52 wrote:

AnnieCamaro wrote:

Rexer25 wrote:Miss Annie wins the prize! When and where would you like your elephant delivered?

Hurray! Please send my elephant to the same address where you're shipping the pizza bones.

I always wanted an elephant of my very own. I will teach it to read.

/:P\

I just ran out of hippos. Do you have any in stock?

No, but I've got the rhino that escaped the Dallas zoo last weekend.

Similar to the thought I like from David Dinkins, former mayor of NYC:

"If someone's selling elephants for a quarter, it's only a good deal if a.) you really need an elephant, and b.) you have a quarter."

He was quoting someone, but I don't remember the original attribution.

Rexer25 wrote:

Beebs52 wrote:

AnnieCamaro wrote: Hurray! Please send my elephant to the same address where you're shipping the pizza bones.

I always wanted an elephant of my very own. I will teach it to read.

/:P\

I just ran out of hippos. Do you have any in stock?

No, but I've got the rhino that escaped the Dallas zoo last weekend.

I'm not really interested in any rhinos that have been living on the street. We're more a hippo group. Or pushed against the wall maybe a smaller wildebeest.

Beebs52 wrote:

Rexer25 wrote:

Beebs52 wrote: I just ran out of hippos. Do you have any in stock?

No, but I've got the rhino that escaped the Dallas zoo last weekend.

I'm not really interested in any rhinos that have been living on the street. We're more a hippo group. Or pushed against the wall maybe a smaller wildebeest.

Wildebeest are hard to come by these days...I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a gal who can have a coupla ibex in stock in a coupla weeks, maybe.

AnnieCamaro wrote:

Rexer25 wrote:Miss Annie wins the prize! When and where would you like your elephant delivered?

Hurray! Please send my elephant to the same address where you're shipping the pizza bones.

I always wanted an elephant of my very own. I will teach it to read.

/:P\

What part in your opera would it play?

Bob Juch wrote: What part in your opera would it play?

It's not over until the elephant sings!

Bob Juch wrote: What part in your opera would it play?

It will play the part of Elephant.

We thought we had a stuffed elephant that was going to fill the role, but Caseygrrl chewed it up, IIRC.

We need an elephant, because -- plot-wise -- Elephant gets a big miracle.

Beebs52 wrote:

AnnieCamaro wrote:

Rexer25 wrote:Miss Annie wins the prize! When and where would you like your elephant delivered?

Hurray! Please send my elephant to the same address where you're shipping the pizza bones.

I always wanted an elephant of my very own. I will teach it to read.

/:P\

I just ran out of hippos. Do you have any in stock?

On topic WWTBAM post regarding a past question-

Hippos do NOT kill more people than crocs in Africa!!!!!!!!

Hey, if anybody gives me an opportunity to beat a dead River Horse to death-I am going to take it.

Rexer25 wrote:

Beebs52 wrote:

Rexer25 wrote: No, but I've got the rhino that escaped the Dallas zoo last weekend.

I'm not really interested in any rhinos that have been living on the street. We're more a hippo group. Or pushed against the wall maybe a smaller wildebeest.

Wildebeest are hard to come by these days...I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a gal who can have a coupla ibex in stock in a coupla weeks, maybe.

I just don't know. It's almost Thanksgiving and soon it will be Christmas.
What that has to do with ibex or hippos I can't tell you. It seemed like a good beginning to the paragraph.
Okay, put me down for one ibex, but add another for a placeholder. Backorder me four hippos and if no one else picks up the rhino and I can get shipping free I'll make an offer.

Beebs52 wrote:

Rexer25 wrote:

Beebs52 wrote: I'm not really interested in any rhinos that have been living on the street. We're more a hippo group. Or pushed against the wall maybe a smaller wildebeest.

Wildebeest are hard to come by these days...I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a gal who can have a coupla ibex in stock in a coupla weeks, maybe.

I just don't know. It's almost Thanksgiving and soon it will be Christmas.
What that has to do with ibex or hippos I can't tell you. It seemed like a good beginning to the paragraph.
Okay, put me down for one ibex, but add another for a placeholder. Backorder me four hippos and if no one else picks up the rhino and I can get shipping free I'll make an offer.

All righty, I gotcha down. About the shipping on the rhino, I can FedEx ground pretty cheap. I know a guy. Split it 50/50?
BTW, Would you need a few square acres of rain forest, no questions asked?

Rexer25 wrote: BTW, Would you need a few square acres of rain forest, no questions asked?

Square acres?

Snap those right up, Beebs. They're worth their weight in carbon credits!

MarleysGh0st wrote:

Rexer25 wrote: BTW, Would you need a few square acres of rain forest, no questions asked?

Square acres?

Snap those right up, Beebs. They're worth their weight in carbon credits!

Square acres, of course, as opposed to linear acres.

D'oh!

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door,
that's the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning,
creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too

(Short Music Interlude)

Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegeterian

(Short Music Interlude)

There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage

I can see me now on Christmas morning,
creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses
I only like hippopotamuseses
And hippopotamuses like me too!

Rexer25 wrote:

MarleysGh0st wrote:

Rexer25 wrote: BTW, Would you need a few square acres of rain forest, no questions asked?

Square acres?

Snap those right up, Beebs. They're worth their weight in carbon credits!

Square acres, of course, as opposed to linear acres.

D'oh!

Go ahead and FedEx the stuff. Your guy can talk to my guy.

Now, about the acres of forest. Firstly, is any of it virgin? Can you authenticate that? Secondly, can I get me some circular acreage? I'm into spheres and such right now. I think hippos would enjoy a ring-like atmosphere.
Oh, and I'll cc: Algore if I do purchase the stuff.

Spock wrote:
On topic WWTBAM post regarding a past question-

Hippos do NOT kill more people than crocs in Africa!!!!!!!!

Hey, if anybody gives me an opportunity to beat a dead River Horse to death-I am going to take it.

What the heck in an OT post doing here!!!!!

themanintheseersuckersuit wrote:

Spock wrote:
On topic WWTBAM post regarding a past question-

Hippos do NOT kill more people than crocs in Africa!!!!!!!!

Hey, if anybody gives me an opportunity to beat a dead River Horse to death-I am going to take it.

What the heck in an OT post doing here!!!!!

Why I had no idea my hippos were killing more African crocs than African peeps. Bless their hearts, except there go my new purses.