WWTBAM Bored

My job is safe, but one of my best friends in the group lost his.

He was qualified for early retirement, so he's got a nice package, but emotionally, he wasn't ready to go. His reaction was sad to see.

I guess I'm feeling "survivor's guilt"- especially since at the same time he was finding out, I was off interviewing for another, better position.

They were probably going to eliminate his job and not mine regardless, but still, I can't help but feel a little guilty....thinking that if this other opportunity had happened a little faster, maybe he wouldn't have lost his job.

Lord, Jeemie I can sure relate to that feeling. Bur remember that you can't let it get to you. Be strong. Perhaps you will be able to guide him to something better elsewhere too.

I am glad for your sake that your job is safe.

Since your friend got a nice retirement package, maybe he could find volunteer work that interests him to occupy his time.

Bittersweet happening, jeemie.

Guilt is a killer. I hope you can get through that emotion so you can still have a friend you enjoy, rather than someone you feel guilty around.

He was qualified for early retirement, so he's got a nice package, but emotionally, he wasn't ready to go. His reaction was sad to see.

I guess I'm feeling "survivor's guilt"- especially since at the same time he was finding out, I was off interviewing for another, better position.

They were probably going to eliminate his job and not mine regardless, but still, I can't help but feel a little guilty....thinking that if this other opportunity had happened a little faster, maybe he wouldn't have lost his job.

If he has a good retirement package then he's better off than many Americans, who are losing their jobs just months--even days--before they're eligible. Here in Rochester, they call it the "29 Year Syndrome" (at 30 years, Kodak gave a fantastic retirement). Once the shock is over, he can volunteer, try teaching/mentoring, help people with the skills he already has etc. It does take time, though. Just staying in touch with him will help because once you leave, people tend to drop you ...

Second, your job may be next. If they're going through layoffs, you're not safe either ... Enjoy the paycheck and health benefits while you can! If you get another job, then someone else will have a paycheck and benefits. I know people who had "survivor's guilt" and three months later, they lost THEIR jobs.

Third, the timing of the opportunity isn't your call. Be grateful you have a job and that if you get another, someone else will have a paycheck and benefits.

Stay strong--and call him for lunch (and you pick up the bill

Jeemie wrote:I guess I'm feeling "survivor's guilt"- especially since at the same time he was finding out, I was off interviewing for another, better position.

Unless TPTB announced that layoffs were coming and specifically asked for volunteers, you've got nothing to feel guilty over. This was their decision.

But keeping one's morale up after something like this can be pretty hard.

Reminds me of one of my pet peeves.

marley - this is not a smack at you - really if it were I would not say it's not.

My feelings are my feelings, your feelings are your feelings. Telling me or telling another they have no reason to feel the way they feel is just plain rude, stoopid and not helpful. It also does nothing to stop me (or another) from feeling the way I (or they) feel, it just might add another feeling to the mix - called being pissed.

the end

My feelings are my feelings, your feelings are your feelings. Telling me or telling another they have no reason to feel the way they feel is just plain rude, stoopid and not helpful. It also does nothing to stop me (or another) from feeling the way I (or they) feel, it just might add another feeling to the mix - called being pissed.

Sometimes, though, with NEW information or a new way of looking at a situation, my feelings change. I LIKE getting new information because it often gives me a new way of looking at a situation. Then I FEEL better!

Last week, I FELT bad because I couldn't get reservations at Disney World. Jaybee pointed out that it's often better to NOT have reservations because then you aren't tied down to a certain place at a certain time etc. That new information really made me (and my family) FEEL BETTER!

--dimmzy, AKA Pollyanna

peacock2121 wrote:...called being pissed.

I know it well.

FYI, I was projecting my own feelings from our own round of layoffs here, at the end of September.

The end.

dimmzy wrote:

My feelings are my feelings, your feelings are your feelings. Telling me or telling another they have no reason to feel the way they feel is just plain rude, stoopid and not helpful. It also does nothing to stop me (or another) from feeling the way I (or they) feel, it just might add another feeling to the mix - called being pissed.

Sometimes, though, with NEW information or a new way of looking at a situation, my feelings change. I LIKE getting new information because it often gives me a new way of looking at a situation. Then I FEEL better!

Last week, I FELT bad because I couldn't get reservations at Disney World. Jaybee pointed out that it's often better to NOT have reservations because then you aren't tied down to a certain place at a certain time etc. That new information really made me (and my family) FEEL BETTER!

--dimmzy, AKA Pollyanna

all that you said is accurate.

Just don't tell someone to not feel bad - or that they have no reason to feel bad.

Adding advice or info is perfectly fine and helpful (sometimes)

peacock2121 wrote:Reminds me of one of my pet peeves.

marley - this is not a smack at you - really if it were I would not say it's not.

My feelings are my feelings, your feelings are your feelings. Telling me or telling another they have no reason to feel the way they feel is just plain rude, stoopid and not helpful. It also does nothing to stop me (or another) from feeling the way I (or they) feel, it just might add another feeling to the mix - called being pissed.

the end

I understood where Marley was coming from, Pea, but thanks for stating your feelings so forthrightly.

That's the thing with feelings. Many times, there IS no reason for them.
Well- at least no reason other than the natural empathy towards another human being who has suffered hard luck, magnified by the juxtaposition of my good fortune.

And that is the essence of "survivor's guilt"- not wholly rational, but many times unavoidable.

Anyhow, to that poster who reminded me that I could be next- believe me, I'm operating under no illusions.

Indeed, thinking that I may be next is unavoidable, since the nature of my job means I am actively involved when such discussions take place.

What made this all the harder, aside from my own job being threatened, is that I take part in the budget process for the department every year, and thus, saw these coming down the pike. (I actually saw this coming down the pike earlier, but that's because I actively watch my company's performance all the time. But predicting that some form of job cuts are coming is far different than actually providing the data that are used to justify WHICH jobs get cut).

Anyhow, thanks for all the kind thoughts and wishes.