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I've been invited to attend an event on Saturday at the home of one of our larger and more important clients. The requested attire is "cocktail attire." Just one problem. I don't know what that is, either for me or (if we can work out the logistics so that she can accompany me) for Ms. 63. My speed is more minature golf and PTA meetings.

Can anyone educate me on this topic? Thanks. --Bob

Bob78164 wrote:I've been invited to attend an event on Saturday at the home of one of our larger and more important clients. The requested attire is "cocktail attire." Just one problem. I don't know what that is, either for me or (if we can work out the logistics so that she can accompany me) for Ms. 63. My speed is more minature golf and PTA meetings.

Can anyone educate me on this topic? Thanks. --Bob

Hi Bob,

Cocktail attire usually is comprised of a dark suit for guys and usually a black (although other colors are not unusual) dress for ladies (not fancy like a gown, usually goes just to the knee).

Hope this helps!

Bob78164 wrote:I've been invited to attend an event on Saturday at the home of one of our larger and more important clients. The requested attire is "cocktail attire." Just one problem. I don't know what that is, either for me or (if we can work out the logistics so that she can accompany me) for Ms. 63. My speed is more minature golf and PTA meetings.

Can anyone educate me on this topic? Thanks. --Bob

A suit and tie for you, nice shoes.

Knee-length dress for Ms. 63, or a nice skirt and top that is dressier than work wear. Also nice shoes.

It will not hurt to call the host/hostess to ask. That's what I'd do. If they are too snooty to answer, or they think it should be obvious, I would not attend their party.

Whoohoo! Ms. 63 has the very best possible excuse to buy a new dress! (If she's not sure what she should be looking for, she can simply say to the sales clerk, "I want to look at cocktail dresses."

Problem solved -- or will be, with the application of a credit card or cash.

Bob78164 wrote:I've been invited to attend an event on Saturday at the home of one of our larger and more important clients. The requested attire is "cocktail attire." Just one problem. I don't know what that is, either for me or (if we can work out the logistics so that she can accompany me) for Ms. 63. My speed is more minature golf and PTA meetings.

Can anyone educate me on this topic? Thanks. --Bob

Your wife is lucky. Because of the holidays, stores will have a lot of cocktail dresses in stock that are suitable for the non-prom age level.

silvercamaro wrote:Whoohoo! Ms. 63 has the very best possible excuse to buy a new dress! (If she's not sure what she should be looking for, she can simply say to the sales clerk, "I want to look at cocktail dresses."

Problem solved -- or will be, with the application of a credit card or cash.

Ms. 63 hates this stuff. She's the only woman I know who attended her own wedding without makeup. She doesn't want new dresses, and would almost certainly be quite content if she never needed to wear another dress for the rest of her life.

The biggest logistical issue I will face in arranging Ms. 63's attendance is persuading her to go. Right now, I rate the odds around 5-1 against. --Bob

Bob78164 wrote:

silvercamaro wrote:Whoohoo! Ms. 63 has the very best possible excuse to buy a new dress! (If she's not sure what she should be looking for, she can simply say to the sales clerk, "I want to look at cocktail dresses."

Problem solved -- or will be, with the application of a credit card or cash.

Ms. 63 hates this stuff. She's the only woman I know who attended her own wedding without makeup. She doesn't want new dresses, and would almost certainly be quite content if she never needed to wear another dress for the rest of her life.

She could get away with a dark suit and a silk blouse or nice sweater if she does't want a dress.

Bob78164 wrote:
The biggest logistical issue I will face in arranging Ms. 63's attendance is persuading her to go.

Tell her it will be good for your career. Corporate types (i.e., your clients) are all about networking. You're the lawyer. You can fill in the specific details.

silvercamaro wrote:Tell her it will be good for your career. Corporate types (i.e., your clients) are all about networking. You're the lawyer. You can fill in the specific details.

I already have. She resented being pressured. Another thing she hates is participating in the necessary networking. --Bob

PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:She could get away with a dark suit and a silk blouse or nice sweater if she does't want a dress.

This could work. I'm skeptical that she'll go (see above), but if she does, this suggestion will make it much more palatable for her.

Thanks. --Bob

Bob78164 wrote: I already have. She resented being pressured. Another thing she hates is participating in the necessary networking. --Bob

Okay. She may feel a little shy about this kind of social event, or she may fear everyone else there will be snooty, pretentious, obnoxious or stand-offish. If you can do so honestly, tell her about the genuinely nice people you know will be there. (On the other hand, if you think she's right, then go alone.)

If she is shy or insecure, perhaps you can convince her to go to some smaller event in the future. Baby steps.

Since I haven't met your wife, the previous paragraph may be very wide of the mark. What's interesting to me is that, in my world, I have seen far more spousal reluctance on the part of men married to professional women who must attend certain events. It does go both ways.

I am speculating that she thinks she won't fit it, that she will have nothing in common and feel looked down upon by the other attendees. Spouses usually get asked the question "So, what do you do?". When I stopped working in the corporate world and 'didn't really work', I dreaded that question. My weirdness about it created weirdness for the asker as well.

Having my feelings understood let me move to a different place about it. I still hate cocktail parties - and it has to do more with the pretense of them all, rather than my own discomfort.

I do think she is right - people will judge her if she shows up with no make-up or dressed 'wrong'. At the same time, she will be judging them for whatever.

Human beings are a trip.

Bob78164 wrote:

silvercamaro wrote:Tell her it will be good for your career. Corporate types (i.e., your clients) are all about networking. You're the lawyer. You can fill in the specific details.

I already have. She resented being pressured. Another thing she hates is participating in the necessary networking. --Bob

If she really doesn't want to do it, the for the sake of your career, maybe you shouldn't force her to do it.

You can always use your son as an excuse for why she can't come.

Or tell her that she broke her leg, they'll feel sorry for her and also feel sorry for you then give you a big promotion. Horray for pitty promotions

Shade wrote:Horray for pitty promotions

The Spelling Police will have a field day with this....

lb13

uh...hey don't yell that I don't spell well, it's all swell.

Take away my spell check and I'm helpless, damn this computer age!

Shade wrote:Or tell her that she broke her leg, they'll feel sorry for her and also feel sorry for you then give you a big promotion. Horray for pitty promotions

Busted!

Spelling Police wrote:

Shade wrote:Or tell her that she broke her leg, they'll feel sorry for her and also feel sorry for you then give you a big promotion. Horray for pitty promotions

Busted!

Lucky you, Shade! Looks like your free and clear on the second violation!

You caught me in an edit.

Spelling Police wrote:

Shade wrote:Or tell her that she broke her leg, they'll feel sorry for her and also feel sorry for you then give you a big promotion. Horray for pitty promotions

Busted!

So, S P, Horray is a valid word?

Looks like a new dictionary may be in order...

MarleysGh0st wrote:

Spelling Police wrote:

Shade wrote:Or tell her that she broke her leg, they'll feel sorry for her and also feel sorry for you then give you a big promotion. Horray for pitty promotions

Busted!

Lucky you, Shade! Looks like your free and clear on the second violation!

Busted!

PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:

MarleysGh0st wrote:

Spelling Police wrote: Busted!

Lucky you, Shade! Looks like your free and clear on the second violation!

Busted!

D'oh!

MarleysGh0st wrote:

PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:

MarleysGh0st wrote: Lucky you, Shade! Looks like your free and clear on the second violation!

Busted!

D'oh!

You could argue that it was entrapment.

Spelling Police wrote:

MarleysGh0st wrote:

PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote: Busted!

D'oh!

You could argue that it was entrapment.

Let this one slide, officer, and I won't testify about catching you editing the charges against Shade.

Another day in the criminal life of Shade.