WWTBAM Bored

A Little Canadian Humor,
Forget Rednecks,
Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canucks.




If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada .




If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada .




If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada .




If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialed a wrong number,
You may live in Canada .




If 'Vacation' means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada .




If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada .




If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada .




If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada .




If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada .




If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada .




If you carry jumpers in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada .




If you design your kid's Halloween costume
To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada .




If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 90 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada .




If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada .




If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
And road construction,
You may live in Canada .




If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .




If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada .

Or you may live in Wyoming (discounting the vacation "south of Detroit.")

On the other hand, when you live in Wyoming, you can send your kids to the University of Nebraska and tell the neighbors that you've "sent them back east" for college.

We can has Immigration?

Then again, what makes us think yinz'd let us in, anyhow?

But those Canada jokes, other than the South of Detroit one, they tell 'em about Pennsylvania too, eh?

One's you can't say about Wyoming, Minnesota, the Dakotas or Pennsylvania

Almost everything is spelled "wrong". Such as Colour instead of color, neighbours instead of neighbors, etc.
Contests run by anyone other than the government have "skill-testing questions" that winners must answer correctly before they can claim a prize.
Everything is labelled in English and French.
Everything is measured in metric (no the temp. doesn't drop at the border nor does the speed limit double)
It's pronounced zed not zee, roof not ruff, ketchup not catsup etc.
Milk comes in plastic bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
Mountain Dew has no caffeine.
People actually take vacations in Cuba and Cuban cigars are readily available.
Reb ribbons indicate 1st place while blue ribbons indicate 2nd place.
Teenagers can legally drink. 18 in Alberta, Quebec, and Manitoba. 19 for the rest.
The beer is stronger and the cigarettes weaker.
The big banks are TD Canada Trust, CIBC, Royal, Scotia, Bank of Montreal, National Bank of Canada and Hong Kong Bank of Canada.
The biggest department stores are The Bay, Sears, Zellers and WalMart.

Canadian Tire money filles your drawers at home.
The Major Parish fund-raiser isent bingo..its Sausage making.
Your Snow blower gets stuck on the roof...NB
You know that the last letter of the english alphabet is pronounced "zed".
You would feel safe leaving your children with a grown man in a leotard playing a flute to a chicken.
You defend your property from trespassers with a lacrosse stcik cause you dont own a gun.
You perk up when you hear the theme from "hockey night in canada"
You have 10 favorite recepies for moose meat.
You know what a "double double" is and that it is now a TERM in the websters dictionary.

Singin' a borrowed tune.

I think all these observations have been made before, eh? But having all them all together in one place is good.

It will be two weeks and half-price day and then closed until Spring at the Dairy Queen in Lachine, and I will try to visit. They did get rid of the hard ice cream this year, and only have the classic stuff, but I will still try.

at the Dairy Queen in Lachine

They only have one I have 4 within 3 miles as well as 2 cold stone creameries and a Baskin and Robbins

I seem to recall being fairly old before I ever saw a Dairy Queen that didn't close in the winter. Some of the ones that serve food & have indoor seating stay open all year but the plain old ice cream stands all close at least from November - April.

VAdame wrote:I seem to recall being fairly old before I ever saw a Dairy Queen that didn't close in the winter. Some of the ones that serve food & have indoor seating stay open all year but the plain old ice cream stands all close at least from November - April.

I guess they close because Warren Buffett doesn't need any more money.