WWTBAM Bored

Jamie Lynn Spears is, according to the National Enquirer, eight weeks pregnant with her second child.

Guess she didn't learn anything from her older sister.

Why should we care, even if they name it "Dylan Pickles"?

Just yesterday I was thinking "Hmm, with all this election crap, it's almost a shame the Paris's and Spears, et al, haven't been more in the forefront of the news"


I was wrong.


t.

gsabc wrote:Why should we care, even if they name it "Dylan Pickles"?

Well, there are a lot of teenage girls who see her as a role model.

I am thankful that my daughters do not.

Aw, she's gonna have Irish Twins!

Now it is reported that it isn't true.

Birth Control Tips for Jamie Lynn Spears (Whether She Needs Them Or Not)

According to an inside source "Jamie Lynn believed she couldn't get pregnant while she was breast-feeding." Well, then. That's sort of understandable, don't you think? There but for the grace of God go YOU, fertile woman.

The female reproductive cycle is mysterious and, ultimately, unknowable even by our nation's best scientists. Still, there are a few helpful tips every woman should observe in order to prevent more unwanted pregnancies. Given the high fecundity and low barrier to entry of Spears clan wombs, we'd advise young Jamie Lynn to pay attention whether she's actually knocked up or only near knocked up, which are the two default positions in that family.

• "Just the tip" is not "practically abstinence."

• Sperm does not swim "more slow-like" south of the Mason-Dixon line.

• You can't "smoke a baby out," no matter how many cartons of Kools you devote to that purpose. (You can, however, ensure that the baby you pump out is born adorably petite!)

• Jumping up and down after sex is ineffective. But! Still a great form of high-impact exercise!

• Clenching an aspirin/dime/King James Bible between your knees IS effective.
Depending on your endurance.

• Leaving your underwear on during intercourse will not prevent pregnancy. It is, however, impressive from a mechanical standpoint.

• Sneezing after sex only works 85% of the time.

• Disregard any advice which begins, "You can't catch pregnant if..."

• Spermicidal foam is just really, really gross. Ugh.

macrae1234 wrote:According to an inside source "Jamie Lynn believed she couldn't get pregnant while she was breast-feeding." Well, then. That's sort of understandable, don't you think? There but for the grace of God go YOU, fertile woman.

Actually, if she's doing it right, Lactational Amennorhea METHOD/Ecological Breastfeeding/Natural Family Planning is pretty effective:

(but most women r doin' it rong!)
********************************************************
For women who meet the criteria (listed below), LAM is 98% - 99.5% effective during the first six months postpartum.[1]

Breastfeeding must be the infant’s only (or almost only) source of nutrition. Feeding formula, pumping instead of nursing[2], and feeding solids all reduce the effectiveness of LAM.
The infant must breastfeed at least every four hours during the day and at least every six hours at night.
The infant must be less than six months old.
The woman must not have had a period after 56 days post-partum (when determining fertility, bleeding prior to 56 days post-partum can be ignored).
Ecological breastfeeding is a stricter form of LAM developed by Sheila Kippley, one of the founders of the Couple to Couple League. Studies have shown it has a 1% failure rate in the first six months postpartum, and a 6% failure rate before the woman’s first postpartum menstruation.[3][4] The Seven Standards of ecological breastfeeding are slightly different from the LAM criteria:

Breastfeeding must be the infant’s only source of nutrition – no formula, no pumping, and (if the infant is less than six months old) no solids.
The infant must be pacified at the breast, not with pacifiers or bottles
The infant must be breastfed often. The standards for LAM are a bare minimum; more frequency is better. Scheduling of feedings should be avoided.
Mothers must sleep with their infants – in the same room, if not in the same bed.
Mothers must not be separated from their infants for more than three hours a day.
Mothers must take daily naps with their infants.
The woman must not have had a period after 56 days post-partum (bleeding prior to 56 days post-partum can be ignored).
***************************************

Seems like this one would be sufficient all by its lonesome.

VAdame wrote:Mothers must sleep with their infants – in the same room, if not in the same bed.

Big effing deal. If she wasn't a famous sister she would just be another stupid teenager.

Sir_Galahad wrote:Big effing deal. If she wasn't a famous sister she would just be another stupid teenager.

According to Big J, she IS just another stupid teenage. He and his friends are not impressed with her or her sister

macrae1234 wrote: According to an inside source "Jamie Lynn believed she couldn't get pregnant while she was breast-feeding."

That sounds like a felony in most states.

I didn't realize that either of the Spears girls had boobs. I thought they just married them.

silvercamaro wrote:I didn't realize that either of the Spears girls had boobs.

I think they have grand tetons.

silvercamaro wrote:I didn't realize that either of the Spears girls had boobs. I thought they just married them.

Jamie Lynn never even married a boob. She's still an unwed mother.

PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:

silvercamaro wrote:I didn't realize that either of the Spears girls had boobs. I thought they just married them.

Jamie Lynn never even married a boob. She's still an unwed mother.

I am willing to substitute "screwed" for "married."

mama:

According to Big J, she IS just another stupid teenager.

Are we talking about a Palin here?

a1mamacat wrote:

Sir_Galahad wrote:Big effing deal. If she wasn't a famous sister she would just be another stupid teenager.

According to Big J, she IS just another stupid teenage. He and his friends are not impressed with her or her sister

You guys do realize that "stupid teenage mothers" grow up, right?

Some of us even grow up to have pretty good, productive lives. And some of us even understand how Lactational Amenorhhea/Natural Child Spacing works, and have the motivation & commitment to practice it.

That is all.

VAdame wrote:

a1mamacat wrote:

Sir_Galahad wrote:Big effing deal. If she wasn't a famous sister she would just be another stupid teenager.

According to Big J, she IS just another stupid teenage. He and his friends are not impressed with her or her sister

You guys do realize that "stupid teenage mothers" grow up, right?

Some of us even grow up to have pretty good, productive lives. And some of us even understand how Lactational Amenorhhea/Natural Child Spacing works, and have the motivation & commitment to practice it.

That is all.

Yes, teenage mothers do grow up. Most of them learn from the first experience. Most of them are not stupid.

Stupid is the one who, having just produced a child from an "accident", does not make Damn sure that another "accident" does not happen.

It wasn't me.

Buffacuse wrote:It wasn't me.

I dunno if MRS Rexer will go for this one. Somehow I don't think just getting the kitchen pass is going to cut it... Maybe Rexer has special rates for this type of stuff.

Mary, there are generalizations in most everything. You managed to be an exception and that is to your credit.

I hope you realize these remarks aren't directed at you at all!

kayrharris wrote:Mary, there are generalizations in most everything. You managed to be an exception and that is to your credit.

I hope you realize these remarks aren't directed at you at all!

Ooh, I'm terribly sorry. I truly didn't mean anything by my remarks. I didn't know that Mrs. Rexer was a member of this group, but regardless, there wasn't any reason to make the type of comment that I did.

I apologize.

cindy.wellman wrote:

kayrharris wrote:Mary, there are generalizations in most everything. You managed to be an exception and that is to your credit.

I hope you realize these remarks aren't directed at you at all!

Ooh, I'm terribly sorry. I truly didn't mean anything by my remarks. I didn't know that Mrs. Rexer was a member of this group, but regardless, there wasn't any reason to make the type of comment that I did.

I apologize.

Honey, you may want to go re-read who posted what. Rexer did not post in this thread at all.